A girl who loved football games because she was able to scream as loud as she wanted.
A girl who played pranks on people and got detention for forking the principal’s lawn and filming it and then showing it during a pep rally.
“All of us get the opportunity. Not all of us take it,” Drew said. “You are always given the option, Bronte, to be yourself. Always.”
For some reason, his confession made me want to cry.
He was right.
I’d had opportunities over the years to live.
And I’d chosen to hide.
The divorce was my first excuse.
The kids my second.
“No, they were my responsibility, and I wanted to make sure that I took that seriously, that they wanted for nothing, that they were confident, that they had love and acceptance no matter what.”
“That’s all good, Bronte. You’re a good mom.” Apparently, I’d spoken all my thoughts out loud again. “But what happens when all that energy is tapped out? What happens when those kids have their own kids, their own lives? That leaves you with what exactly? I love that you’re a selfless person, but right now, I really, really think you should do something selfish.”
I pressed my lips together. “Something selfish, huh?”
“Yeah, something that even I would judge you for, like, ‘Whoa, slow your roll, Bronte. Don’t be such a selfish bitch…’”
I laughed. “I’m thinking. Plus, it’s not like we have a lot of options, camping out in my front yard.”
His eyes flashed. “So, we go inside. We walk down the road. Show me selfish, and I’ll show you life. Show me a weakness, and I’ll worship you until it’s your strength. The point, Bronte, is you do something.”
“Who are you?” I whispered reverently.
“A fuck up.” He shrugged. “Which is why I know all the things.” He winked. “Who’s the dumbass now…”
Easy laughter bubbled up. “Clearly, not you.”
“Exactly.” He stood and held out his hand. “What will it be?”
I opened my mouth just as the sound of Amelia and her friends running through the house interrupted our little interlude.
My face fell.
Time to be a mom again.
Make sure they have snacks.
Aren’t staying up too late and…
“Go take a bath.” Drew put his hands on my shoulders and turned me toward the glass door. “I’ll make sure they have food, know the rules, and don’t burn the house down.”
“Oh, I really shouldn’t—”
“Are you sure? Because if you don’t, I’m going to march into that living room and announce to Amelia in front of all her friends that I’ve seen her mom naked, and she touched my dick.”
“You wouldn’t!” I gasped.
He grinned. “Try me.”
“Bastard,” I grumbled under my breath. “That’s low.”
“Bath.” He stepped out of my way and slapped me on the butt as I passed him. “Go.”
“Ow!” I shrieked and then stomped away from him.
Amelia was on the couch with her friends — no Ryans, thank God, since I highly doubted that guy was working with a lot upstairs.
“Hey, Mom!” Amelia bounced on her feet. “We’re just going to watch a movie before bed. That okay?”
“What movie?” Drew asked, leaning against the doorframe.
It was hard not to notice the way Amelia’s friends seemed to just swoon right onto the couch as they giggled as if he’d asked a funny question.
High school.
“Ohhhh… I don’t know.” Amelia grabbed the remote. “Something new, you know? Not made back when Nicolas Cage was still a big deal. So pretty much nothing old… like you.” She shot Drew a teasing grin.
“Me?” He pointed at himself. “Old? I’ll have you know I can still run seven miles a day, and I’m only thirty-six, but nice try, small fry. Also, I’m younger than Chris Pratt, so just digest that for a minute.”
“Ahh, he’s so hot,” one of her friends said.
“And I’m not?” Drew looked genuinely offended, which earned giggles from the girls again.
“Amelia,” I interrupted, “I’m just going to go get ready for bed real quick, all right? Don’t stay up too late.”
“Yeah, don’t stay up too late,” Drew repeated with a smirk.
The girls giggled again, and Amelia gave Drew a salute. Amelia looked so happy, so healthy. I hoped to God she stayed that way. Her results would be back tomorrow, and while the doctor had been optimistic, the chance still remained.
It had aged both of us, leaving me wondering stupidly where I fit when she finally went off to school, lived her life like she deserved, lived her life without me constantly by her side.
I turned around, deflated as I walked across the house and into the master bedroom and turned on the jetted tub.
While it filled, I stripped out of my clothes and put on my black silk bathrobe then pulled my hair into a messy knot.
I caught my reflection in the massive mirror. My cheeks were flushed, my lips swollen.
I licked them, wishing I could still taste him there.
What is happening to me?
I pressed a hand against my stomach and then leaned against the counter, staring down at my different overnight products.
All of them promised to make me age backward.
And I wondered in that moment, how I’d gotten there.
Almost forty, divorced.
And I hadn’t had sex in fourteen years.
Almost forty with my whole life, it seemed, ahead of me — and I was afraid to say dick? I mean, really? It wasn’t that, though. It was that I felt torn between two worlds— the mom world… and who I really was.
“You don’t need that shit.” Drew’s voice suddenly interrupted, causing me to knock over two of the expensive serums that promised youthful skin overnight.
I stared up at him through the mirror. “You scared me.”
“I’m stealthy.” He crossed his arms. He was wearing a loose gray tank top and his jeans still, but his shoes were off, and he looked even sexier with his messy hair, standing in my bathroom barefoot. “Bath’s ready.”
When had he even turned it off?
“Th-thanks.” I grabbed the doorknob, but he was on the wrong side; he was in the bathroom with me, and he wasn’t
