“Not weak,” he corrected gently. “You sound like a loving daughter who simply failed to see that the number one job of parents is to prepare their children to go out and conquer the world without them.”
“Whether they want to or not.”
“Especially if they don’t want to,” he answered.
That was the sort of parent she wanted to be, if the time ever came when she had children. Loving and supportive, yes, but wise, as well.
“That might be a parent’s job but it can’t be an easy one. How did Henry and Margaret cope when Gemma said she was moving to take a job in another country, especially now that she’s making it permanent by marrying Josh?”
He was quiet. “They miss her, especially after losing David. But it’s obvious that being here, working at Caine Tech, has been the best thing possible for her.”
“It’s good that you’re only a few hours away from your parents.”
“For now,” he said.
“What do you mean?”
“We’re moving closer to them as soon as we return to England.”
“You are? But what about Oxford and your salmon research?”
Ian looked out at the water. “I’m leaving my work behind. My father needs me to help him with the, er, family business.”
She stared, sensing there was something he wasn’t telling her. “But you love what you do. You can’t just walk away from your research, simply to make your father happy.”
He gave a stiff-looking smile. “It might seem that way from the outside but the reality is not nearly as clear-cut. My father needs my help.”
They were in very similar situations. She could so relate to what he was saying. No one else could understand unless they had experienced it.
Kat, for instance, had been telling her for years to move out and leave her mother behind in Haven Point, but even her best friend hadn’t understood all the complicated reasons she had stayed, the murky reality she had been wading through for years.
That fear of abandoning her mother as Lyle had done, which she was only now beginning to realize.
“That’s what I always told myself. My mother was older and had health problems. I told myself I was only being a dutiful daughter. If I left, she would have no one. So I stayed, unhappy and dreaming of a different life than the one I had. I suppose dreaming a handsome prince would come and take me away from it so I wouldn’t have to make any hard choices on my own.”
The stark self-scrutiny made her want to cry again. She blinked the tears away.
“And then she died and I realized I was almost thirty years old and my life has been wasted, waiting for something else.”
“Not wasted,” he corrected softly. “You have created a good life here. Friends you care about. A thriving business. Puppies.”
“You’re right. It is a good life, even though it was designed for me from the time I was a girl. I didn’t buy my own clothes until I was in college, if you can believe that. My mother had a very strong personality and I let the force of her consume me. It just seemed easier to go along with what she wanted, all these years.”
If her father hadn’t killed himself, maybe that overbearing aspect of her mother’s personality wouldn’t have come out so strongly. Or maybe she and her father together might have been able to keep it in check.
She couldn’t believe she had blurted all this out to Ian. She wasn’t sure she had ever really been so transparent with anyone, even Kat.
What must he think of her?
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to dump all of this on you.”
“I asked. And I’m glad you told me, that you feel as if you can talk to me.”
He reached out and grabbed her hand, his fingers warm against her. She found deep comfort in the contact of skin against skin and wanted to lean her head on his shoulder.
She was doing it again. Falling in love at the drop of a hat.
This time felt different somehow. Ian was different.
He was a good man. A kind one. She had loved seeing him surrounded by his family. His teasing of Gemma, the deep affection for his mother, the clear respect he had for his father.
She could love him very easily.
And end up with her heart broken, she reminded herself, when he walked away in a few weeks to return to his life overseas.
She stepped away from him, hoping a little physical distance would help her regain her equilibrium. His boat brushed against the dock and she seized on the distraction.
“What time do you usually leave in the morning? I often see the boat is gone before I leave for work.”
She hoped he didn’t guess that she always looked out the sunroom window first thing to see if she could see it moored here.
“Early,” he answered. “I try to reach the Chalk Creek mouth before sunrise but don’t always make it.”
“You must be a very dedicated researcher for that kind of commitment. I hate thinking about you just...walking away from something you obviously care about a great deal.”
He shifted in the moonlight and she saw reluctance and a hint of sadness in his eyes. “I don’t have a choice, Samantha. I wish I did.”
“There’s always a choice.”
“Not this time. As I said, as soon as we return to England from this trip, the children and I are moving to be closer to my parents. The wheels are already in motion.”
He kept his voice carefully impassive but she thought she could hear a strain of sadness underneath.
“You don’t want to leave your work, do you?”
“It’s not about what I want.” His mouth was firm, resolute.
“Ian. Please don’t make the mistake I did, going along with what was expected of me simply because it was the easier route.”
“It’s not the same thing.”
“If you don’t want to work with your father, stand up for yourself. You love studying salmon and working with your students. Do you really want
