Short of abandoning his mother on the dance floor, he couldn’t see a way to avoid the conversation, especially when Margaret’s face was twelve inches away from his and she was holding him tightly.
“My feelings, such as they are, won’t lead anywhere because I don’t intend to act on them,” he answered, his voice low but firm.
She angled her head, studying him so intently he finally had to look away from her scrutiny. After a long moment, she sighed. “I am your mother and love you more than words. But I think it’s fair to say there are times I don’t understand you in the slightest. This is one of them.”
“Because I don’t see the point in causing inevitable pain in two people by pursuing something with no possible future?”
She stared at him. “No possible future? Why ever not?”
“Samantha and I have completely different lives separated by five thousand miles. There’s no way to reconcile that. I see no point in dragging things out, prolonging the inevitable.”
“Nothing is inevitable except that we’re all going to leave this life at some point.”
“I’ve been through this once, Mother. You know what a disaster I made of that.”
Margaret said nothing for a moment as the music continued, a soft, romantic ballad that only seemed to heighten the ache in his chest.
“Now that sounds like an excuse to me if I’ve ever heard one. Please forgive me for saying this,” she finally said. “But Samantha and Susan are completely different women.”
He knew that, entirely too well. He wasn’t sure they could be more different.
“Agreed.”
“You were married to Susan for five years and I never once saw you look at her the way you look at Samantha. As if she is your sun and your moon and all the stars in your sky.”
Could everyone at the wedding see how he felt? He sincerely hoped only his mother was this observant.
He purposely avoided her gaze. “How I look at her doesn’t matter.”
“How can you say that?”
Ian sighed. “It’s impossible, Mother. You have to see that.”
“I see no such thing.”
“I made a horrendous mistake with Susan. Despite that, two amazing children came out of that union. They are my priority. I can’t risk them being hurt, especially after everything they’ve been through with their mother these past few years.”
“You’re older and far wiser now, son. Hard experience has given you a discernment that few others ever achieve. I know you have the good sense to make a far different choice now than you might have a decade ago.”
He couldn’t disagree. He had made some very ill-considered decisions in his youth.
“Anyway, Susan wasn’t really your choice,” his mother said softly. “You wouldn’t have married her if she hadn’t told you she was pregnant with Amelia, would you?”
He closed his eyes, remembering how trapped and helpless he had felt when Susan had told him the news of her pregnancy.
He hadn’t wanted to marry her or anyone at that point in his life. In fact, he had been about to break off their relationship, which had begun as more of a convenience because their mutual friends were dating each other.
“I married her, though, didn’t I? And had a second child with her.”
Their marriage hadn’t been completely terrible. Sometimes he tended to forget that part. She had been a loving mother and they had tried to build a sturdy base for Amelia and later Thomas.
“I tried to care about Susan, for your sake and the children’s,” Margaret said. “Despite all my efforts, we never quite clicked, which I think was as much my fault as hers.”
“I can’t believe that.” As he recalled, his mother had been extraordinarily kind to Susan, generous to a fault. He could remember many times when she had taken her shopping or to one of her charity events where Susan had loved being the daughter-in-law to the Countess of Amherst.
“I am only mentioning that to make the point that your father and I already adore Samantha. We both said earlier today how happy we were that you were bringing her here as your date to the wedding and that we hope you continue seeing her.”
“How can I? It’s impossible,” he said again. “Samantha’s life is here in Haven Point. She has friends, a dog, a business she loves. Suppose we date long-distance and eventually decide we want a future together. She would have to give all that up and move to Dorset with me. You and I both know I no longer have the freedom to live anywhere I like. I am tied to Summerhill.”
They had stopped dancing some time ago, without Ian fully realizing, and were standing on the edge of the dance floor. His mother, with her discerning eyes, placed a cool hand on his cheek, as if her touch could calm the turmoil inside him.
“Oh, son. You say that like those are your only options, that you must either abandon the estate and move here or she must abandon her business and move to England with you.”
“What else is there?”
She looked sly suddenly. “For your information, I’ve been talking to the lovely Ms. Fremont about expanding her reach, moving into new markets with her dress designs. Why couldn’t she hire someone to run her store here, which would give her the chance to focus on her designs?”
He remembered Samantha saying she would be a designer, if she had her choice. Would she seriously consider such a drastic step?
“I can’t ask her to completely change her life like that,” he protested.
Margaret gave him a pitying look. “Why not? Every woman has to radically change her life when she marries. Just like every man does, as well. Even if they don’t move across continents, they must make concessions and adjustments. If Samantha cares about you, she won’t mind.”
“I have no idea how she feels,” he said.
His mother smiled softly. “Remember I told you that you look at her with your heart in your eyes? Here’s the funny thing. When you’re not
