Gemma froze for a moment, not sure what to do, but he was solid and strong and offered comfort beyond measure. She finally wrapped her arms around him and let herself cry.
Her family was so careful around her, so solicitous. Margaret and Henry didn’t bring up the accident unless she did. They rarely even mentioned David’s name, though he was a constant presence at every family gathering.
She tried to be strong most of the time but it felt heavenly to lean on Joshua’s strength for a moment.
Still, she couldn’t stand here all night blubbering.
“I’m sorry,” she said after a moment and wiped at her eyes with a clean tissue. “I don’t know what came over me.”
“My mom says that sometimes a woman just needs a good, hard cry to clean out the cobwebs in her tear ducts.”
“Your mother sounds very smart.”
“She is. And she’ll be the first one to tell you so.”
To her surprise, she could feel some of the sadness leave her. She even managed a small smile. While she loved being held by him, Gemma had a feeling a little distance would make her story easier to share.
She wanted to share it with Joshua Bailey, though she couldn’t have said exactly why. She hadn’t even told any of her coworkers or new girlfriends in Haven Point the truth, but she wanted to talk about it with Joshua.
She returned to the easy chair and was grateful beyond words when Toby came with her and settled at her feet.
“David’s death devastated my family, as I’m sure you can imagine.”
Josh nodded. “I can. My youngest sister died during surgery for a congenital heart problem when she was a year old. My family never really recovered.”
“Oh. I’m so sorry.” It was an important reminder to her that everyone, no matter how good-natured and charming on the surface, could have deep pain in the past.
“Then you understand. In our case, it wasn’t only that my parents lost their son. As I’m sure you can imagine, when a title is involved, things can get messy. As the eldest, David was set to become the next Earl of Amherst when my father dies. David’s death means that responsibility automatically passes to my second brother, Ian, who already had a thriving career he loved and never wanted anything to do with the earldom.”
“And you blame yourself because Ian now has to give up his career.”
She should have expected he would cut straight to the heart of matters. “In a nutshell, yes.”
“Balderdash.”
The word was so unexpected coming from him—more like something her maiden aunt might have said—that Gemma had to laugh.
“Pardon?”
“I’d like to say something a little stronger but I’ll wait to use the full creative range of my vocabulary until we know each other a little better.”
His words sparked a little flare of anticipation inside her. She wanted a chance to get to know him better. Wanted it very much.
“My point is,” Joshua said, “you can’t possibly blame yourself for something that wasn’t your fault. Even the accounts in the newspapers I read back then said so. The truck driver fell asleep at the wheel. How could you possibly be responsible for that?”
Yes, she had heard that argument before. “I know that, intellectually. It’s hard to reconcile that with my heart, which can’t help but feel that my brother would be here today if only I had made different choices. If I had taken a different route home from the holiday party, if we had left ten minutes earlier or later. Or if I hadn’t been such a coward that I needed him to go to my company party with me in the first place.”
There it was, the thing she blamed herself for the most. Her own weakness.
In the flickering light from the fire, she didn’t miss the steady, probing look Joshua aimed at her. “I sense there’s more to that particular part of the story.”
So much more. She had never shared that with anyone else. Not even her parents. “You don’t want to hear it.”
“We’re trapped here together for at least the next twelve hours. The s’mores are all gone. You might as well tell me.”
Before the night was over, she had a feeling he would wring every single story from her.
She sighed, memories flooding back. “At the time, I was head of Programming for a startup in London. It was an exciting place to work. The owner of the company was ambitious and creative but...he had no boundaries.”
His gaze sharpened. “In what way?”
“In every way. He was interested in me, I wasn’t interested in him. I told him no but he continued to be...inappropriate with me. I should have quit. I was building up to that, actually. I loved the work but was so tired of his pestering. Meanwhile I had the obligatory holiday party to get through so I asked David to go with me. For once, I thought having Viscount Summersby along to have a word with my boss might help clear the air and make my situation more bearable so I could stay.”
Her leg throbbed with pain suddenly and she tried to force her muscles to relax their sudden tension. “I should have simply handled the matter myself. If I had been stronger, if I had stood up for myself firmly and decisively, Colin would have had to back down. There was no need for me to drag my brother into it. No need at all.”
“Did your brother mind helping you?”
“No. He was glad to do it, actually. He pulled Colin aside and subtly gave him a talking-to at the party about proper behavior in the workplace.” Despite her pain, she had to smile a little, thinking of her protective brother standing up for her.
“As a brother myself, I can tell you I love when my sisters or brothers ask me to help them with something. I think David would have minded more if
