“Stay away from me,” I said, “Get out!”
He swallowed, and nodded, “Okay, I’m out.” and he marched towards the exit.
I saw two of the most important guys walk out of that door that day. They left me behind. That moment would have been the last memory of them, and I thought I’d never see them again. The only thing I had left was my almost perfect family, and my best friends.
Chapter Twenty
I woke up in the morning to find myself beside Mom as she slept peacefully on that white bedcover. I must have fallen asleep there. I stretched my hands up, and looked at the window. It looked like the sun was just rising, and I had slept all night but it didn’t wash my emotions away. Instead, I woke up with more pain than ever. I recalled the night before when Ned and Kent walked out of the door. I didn’t want to remember it, but my stupid brain brought it up again, and I knew that it’d play the scene over and over in my head.
I heard a weak voice, behind me that made me turn around. Mom batted her eyelashes, and opened her eyes. She slowly turned, and looked at me, not recognizing me. She looked better and more energized than the night that she was admitted.
“Who are you?” She asked, with furrowed, confused eyebrows.
I swallowed, “I’m your daughter, Celia.”
She opened her mouth, and looked surprised that she had a daughter, “You are? You’re gorgeous,” She admitted, and brushed my hair that laid over my shoulder. I couldn’t keep the tears from flooding again, and I let it wash out my despair. And I thought, if tears could wash out my emotions, and pain too.
I was washed out.
I gave up on faith, and hope. I wish the time would go back, or some magical goddess of time came up to me and offered me the wish of the past, because I wanted the past to return, so I could fix it. If Ned and Kent came back to me, I would have made the right decisions. But I didn’t know.
Mom closed her eyes, and moved her lips, “I’m hungry,” she said, “Can you bring me some food?”
“Sure, I’ll go to the cafeteria and bring some,” I sniffed, and walked to the door, but her voice stopped me.
“Celia?” She called.
And I turned around, “Yes?” My heart was racing. I had an instant happiness to hear her talk again, and I wanted that to last forever. Part of me said that she might have recovered, and the other part said that that was part of the illness, is that she can get back to reality, but soon enough she goes back to her own world again. Back to her fantasy world. Away from us. Away from pain. Sometimes, I wished that my mind was away and stress free.
“What dear?” She asked.
“I don’t know, you called me,” I answered.
“Oh, what a nice ride,” she murmured to herself.
I averted my eyes, and looked down as I walked to the cafeteria. I found Max and Jane sitting around a table. I took some food on the tray, and went to sit across from them in the same table. I put the tray down with force that made the table tremor a bit. They looked at each other with concern, and turned to me.
“I’ll never get her back,” I confessed, and looked at the table, “She’ll never recover.”
Max and Jane extended their hands, and put their hands over mine on the table. Max nodded her head, “Maybe, but she feels your presence, Celia, and that’s what’s important,” She comforted.
“Yeah, I mean, she’s your mom, she won’t totally forget you,” Jane said.
I nodded, “How’d we continue like this?” I asked myself, because I knew about her condition too well. That she had limited time to live, and doctors said that she will get worse, and that there was an end to it, but not a good one. It took me a lot of time to accept that reality of her, and that we would be alone after a few years from now. Who knew until when she would live? I wanted her to live longer with us, but that meant more suffering for her. I couldn’t decide which one was better, and I didn’t want to either.
“I know,” I said, “Thank you for babysitting Adam, and Amelia, I could never thank you enough.”
“That’s why we are here,” Max confirmed.
I grabbed the tray of food, “I need to take some food to her,” I said and got up with my tray, and headed to my mom’s room. I found Dad sitting on the chair I had been sleeping in yesterday night. He got up. “I haven’t talked to you about yesterday, because I wanted you to take your time, but I’m sorry about what happened yesterday,” he confessed.
“It doesn’t matter, Dad,” I said.
“I didn’t know they would fight…” He trailed off.
“Dad, it’s okay, really?” I cut him off. I offered him the tray and said, “I brought her some food.” Not looking at his eyes.
“Thank you,” he said, and took the tray, and went to sit beside her. He started feeding her, and whispering to her as she started eating. I got out of the room, and sat on the outside chair that was placed by the wall. I looked down at the floor, and breathed in the smell of the hospital, and looked at the nurses, and doctors rushing in and out. Every person there had their own lives, and their own struggles. Some of them probably had the worst cases, but we couldn’t see beyond our periphery, because we as humans were so caught up with our ego selves. We wanted our lives to be prefect like other
