Instead of rushing towards the door and getting out of there as fast as I could, I peered around the corner of the shelf I was standing behind to see Grandma Rosie casually begin to browse the selection of bath bombs while the fairy who had served me went over to her.
“Can I help you?” she asked.
“Oh, yes please,” Grandma Rosie said happily. “You see, I’m looking for a fancy new soap. I’ve been reading all about self-care, and I’ve come to realize that I don’t take nearly good enough care of myself and that my mental health suffers for it.”
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Grandma Rosie’s idea of self-care meant coming up with new schemes to find out what was going on in town and maintain her role as the all-knowing queen when it came to the retired witches. She wasn’t exactly the type to relax in a scented bath to recharge.
“I’m afraid to fix your mental health you’re going to need more than bath bombs,” Gloria shot across the store at Grandma Rosie. “You’re going to need professional help, at the very least.”
Grandma Rosie smile sweetly at Gloria in reply. “Can you recommend anyone? After all, we all know you’ve worked your way through all the therapists in town since they inevitably fire you for being too insane.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Gloria sputtered. “It figures you would make something up like that. You’re always inventing stories that aren’t true.”
“That’s funny,” Grandma Rosie replied. “Speaking of things I’ve heard about, a little birdie tells me you’re thinking of opening up a familiar grooming salon here in town.”
Gloria’s eyes widened. “And who told you that?”
“I have my sources. I’m curious about the reasoning behind it. You hate familiars, and you think dogs are disgusting.”
“Well, if you must know, I read an article in a magazine that said that grooming familiars is a growing business model. They interviewed a couple of witches who started the business themselves, built up a decent clientele, and then sold the business for a tidy profit. And that’s what I intend to do. You know, some of us still have ambition beyond being tottering old fools.”
“I do not totter,” Grandma Rosie replied. “I’m simply surprised you decided to go for a business idea you have no real interest in. Don’t you know the first rule of business is to do something you’re passionate about?”
“No wonder you’re poor; you don’t have a clue what you’re talking about,” Gloria replied. “The first rule of business is to do whatever will make you the most money possible. Profits before anything else.”
“What are you going to do when a dog pees on you?” Grandma Rosie asked with a grin, and Gloria stared at her, horrified.
“No dog is going to pee on me. That’s disgusting!”
“That’s what dogs do. And you can’t hit the dogs; witches and wizards care about their familiars as much as they care about their own children.”
“Well, I wouldn’t hit them, of course not,” Gloria said. “I suppose I could put up with it for a little bit until I sold my business for a huge profit.”
“I don’t know,” Grandma Rosie mused. “I can see the headlines now: Local Familiar Grooming Salon Owner Loses Control, Punts Cat from Window. I’m not sure you’d be able to sell your company for very much money after that.”
“That won’t happen,” Gloria growled at Grandma Rosie. “How dare you?”
“So you say. I guess we’ll see. But it sure would be a shame for you to put all that time and money into a new business only to have it fail because you have the temperament of a lion that’s just been shot in the butt by a tranquilizer.”
“I’ll show you,” Gloria shouted, suddenly grabbing a package from the shelf next to her. The fairy beside her, who had been standing to the side and politely pretending not to hear the argument, reached forward with a shout to try to grab the package from Gloria, but it was too late. Gloria hurled it towards my grandmother who muttered a quick spell and sent it flying back the other way where it hit Gloria in the face and exploded.
I gasped as Gloria was suddenly covered in bubbles, like she’d just come out of a bath. Her whole body was covered in them, and I had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing. She looked ridiculous.
“You stupid witch!” she shouted at Grandma Rosie. “You’re going to pay for this!”
She lifted up her wand, but Grandma Rosie was too quick, casting a freezing spell at Gloria, leaving her still as a statue, unable to move anything but her eyes. I could practically feel the fury coming out of her.
“Sorry, Gloria,” Grandma Rosie said with a grin. “We don’t want to cause a mess in this store. After all, my granddaughter works here, and I’d really rather not leave her with too much to clean. Anyway, I think you’ve proven your point. You definitely have the patience that would be required to work with familiars. So, I’ll be getting on with my day. Good luck with your new business. I’m sure it won’t crash and burn like everything else you’ve ever tried.”
“Are you going to buy any of those bath bombs?” the fairy asked politely, and Grandma Rosie shook her head.
“Thank you so much for the help, but I think I’ll pass. It turns out this was all the self-care I needed after all.”
With that, Grandma Rosie sauntered out of the store, leaving Gloria to her fate. I imagined the fairies were going to go upstairs to find a witch or wizard to reverse the spell, and I sent a quick text to Leda.
Grandma Rosie just had a spat with Gloria in the retail part of your store. I highly recommend not going down there yourself.
Thanks for the heads up, came Leda’s reply a moment later as I scurried out of the shop and after my grandmother.
“Well, that was certainly something,” I called after
