She made a small whimper but he froze nonetheless, lifting his head to look into her face. “Mary.”
A thin smiled graced her lips. “I’m all right. I knew it would hurt the first time. Keep going.”
“Are you sure?” he asked, searching her face.
Her smile grew. “The benefit of age. A little pain never hurt anyone.” Then she leaned up and kissed him. “I want to be yours, Cole. All yours.”
Her lips, her voice uttering those words, unseated the last of his reserve. He thrust fully inside her, her maidenhead giving way. “It’s done,” he gritted out, even as she locked her arms about his neck and buried her face in his shoulder.
She let out a little gasping breath that sounded half like a laugh. “I never thought this day would come.” Then she gave his back a little tap with her hand. “Keep going. What’s next?”
He shook his head but slowly moved out and then back inside her. Starting a rhythm, she relaxed underneath him. A minute or two passed and his own control grew thin. “I’m not sure I can last much, it’s been so long.”
“Don’t last then.” She kissed the lobe of his ear. “Cole.”
Her whispering his name was his final undoing. In a roar, he finished, his seed spilling inside her. But something else, deep in his chest, came undone as well. A flood of feelings he’d been holding back for ages poured out from inside. There was love. He was falling in love with this woman, he couldn’t deny it any longer. There was hope too.
But there was also grief and fear. Sharp, it bit behind his eyes making them sting with unshed tears. He was opening himself up again and that was bloody frightening.
Chapter Twelve
Mary gave Cole another squeeze about his shoulders. She wasn’t certain if he was awake or asleep but his weight had collapsed on top of hers. She liked it, immensely, but it was getting difficult to breathe. “Cole,” she placed a kiss where his shoulder met his neck.
“Mmmh,” he answered, not really moving.
“Are you awake?” she asked stroking his back.
“Mmmh.”
She moved under him wondering if she could wriggle to the side to get more air. She didn’t want to disrupt the moment, it was one of the best in her life, she just didn’t want to faint during it either.
“Mary,” he said, lifting his head. “If you keep moving like that, we’re going to have to do it again and I don’t think your body’s ready for more.”
She tried to giggle but it came out as a gasping breath. “It’s just that you’re squishing me,” she finally admitted. “You’re quite a bit larger than I am.”
His face shuddered and he immediately rolled to the side. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
Mary scrunched her brow. This close, she could feel the tension reenter his body. “Squish me?” she asked as he started to pull further away but her arms were still about his neck and she held on tight, moving with him as he came to his side. She touched her nose to his. “Tell me what I’ve done to upset you.”
“I’m not—”
“You are.” She touched her forehead to his. “This close you can’t lie to me. I feel your change.”
He slumped then, gathering her close. “My first wife was a small woman. I loved protecting her until I couldn’t.”
Mary’s heart thudded in her chest and she understood the full extent of his fear. In this way, she was the worst choice for his wife. She squeezed him tight to her chest. “Tell me how me and your wife are different.”
He drew in a deep breath. “She’d been sickly as a child. She’d outgrown the disease but…”
She smiled, rubbing her nose softly against his. “Does it help you at all to know that I never get sick? I rarely even have colds. Even when I tended my cousins as children.”
His eyes brightened. “It does.”
“How was her first delivery with Anne?”
“Awful.” He shuddered again, then he locked his gaze on hers. “You said your family delivers babies with ease?”
Anne nodded. “I don’t want to make you false promises. But I can tell you, for better or for worse, often for worse, I am rather strong of character and body too.”
“I love that about you.” And then he captured her mouth in a searing kiss.
For her part, she closed her eyes and pretended he’d just said, I love you. And in her heart, she said the words back. She knew he’d put an end date on their physical relationship but for her, she didn’t want that part to end. Perhaps if the baby was born with ease, he’d change his mind?
She did want to laugh with joy that her Chase tenacity, the very thing she’d hated about herself, was the one thing he loved. Could she win his heart with strength alone? She knew she had to try.
Sin carefully straightened Mary’s clothing. He’d like to take her directly to his bed and keep her there for the entire night but Anne needed Mary more than he did. Still, some part of him cried out to keep her close. It wasn’t just Anne whom Mary was mending. He also felt the changes happening inside his heart, his soul.
“I’ll join you and Anne in the nursery for dinner,” he whispered close to her ear. He ran his fingers from her neck to her shoulder.
She reached up and touched his cheek. “I’d like that.” Standing on tiptoe, she pressed
