Lawrence nods and walks into the house, not coming in my direction.
“Oh shit, he is pissed at you.”
I press my lips together and try not to sweat, but the more I try to stop it, the worse it gets.
“You’re weirdly sweaty again,” Sukii mutters.
“Yup, take over for me and don’t let anyone notice I’m gone,” I squeak and excuse myself, hurrying to the servants’ bathroom on the main floor, thanking the gods I know about it. When I get in there, I strip to my underwear and bra, waving my blouse out and airing my skirt. The action of moving around is making it worse so I sit on the toilet in my undergarments and heels and think.
But that doesn’t help either so I play on my phone.
I end up on Facebook typing Ben’s name in but not finding him. It takes a second for me to remember I blocked him. I almost want to unblock him so I can snoop, but I don’t.
Thinking about him again makes me realize the sweating didn’t start until Ben. The stress he caused was the beginning of the end for me. Everything was great before that. And now I’m in my boss’s bathroom, hiding because of it. I need to stop being a little baby and close this chapter. I need closure so I can stop soaking everything.
My fingers are shaking and my chest is aching, but I decide to take this thing off my to-do list, the easier one weirdly enough. I enter his phone number and wait.
“Hello? Ben here.” He sounds professional.
His voice rips at me but I force myself to speak, “Hi.”
“Jesus—fuck—Jenny!” he shouts. “Where are you? Are you okay? What happened? No one’s returning my calls. Your brother sent me some shitty email, threatening to kill me. None of your friends are returning my calls. What is going on?”
“I saw you,” I whisper, ignoring his questions and saying the one thing I need to check him off the list.
“What?” He calms down but doesn’t understand what I’m talking about. “Where are you? I’ll come meet you. Are you at your place? I can be there in twenty.”
The question brings a smile to my lips. He doesn’t know I moved. He hasn’t gone to my apartment in the three weeks since this ended.
It’s a tough lump to swallow but I realize this is over. The closure tastes bitter but it’s better than the guilt from saying nothing to him.
“Say hi to Aslin.” I hang up and block his number. Exhaling, I notice the sweating has stopped and I shiver from being cold, but it’s a clearing and freeing feeling to be done with that.
I dress slowly, realizing I didn’t need Ben to know I saw him or that I knew about Aslin. I needed to know if he cared that I was gone without a trace.
And the answer, as much as it hurts my feelings, is the final nail in the coffin. For the first time in weeks, I am genuinely over it.
I take a look in the mirror before opening the bathroom door, meeting my own gaze for the first time in a long time. My lips curl into a grin and I turn the handle, walking out and into a wall. I thump and fall back but he catches me again.
“Easy, Red!” Lawrence laughs and lifts me to my feet.
“What are you doing?” I grunt as I shove him away and straighten my clothes.
“Actually, I was—God, you were right.” He runs his hand through his hair and peers down the hallway as if he might run away. “This is awkward. But I can’t stop thinking about you. You’re killing me. And right now I wish I’d ducked into another room instead of waiting. I mean, you were in there for like ever. And I already feel like a stalker over the whole apartment thing—”
I attack, grabbing his face and kissing to stop him from talking. He’s shocked but kisses back after he mumbles a few words. His hand slides up my back, inside the shirt, massaging roughly as he whispers, “Fuck, I missed you.”
I have a fistful of his hair and my leg up his body and around his butt when I realize where we are. I shove him back and wipe my mouth, huffing my breaths. “We can’t do this.”
“Yes, we fucking can!” he says exasperatedly.
“No, I mean we’re doing this, just not here. I’ll lose my job and, unfortunately, my apartment. The two are tied together.”
“What?” He frowns and parts his lips, about to say something, but he pauses, nodding. “Okay. Let’s go.” He grabs my hand and pulls me around the side to go back to the front room but I pull him back.
“This way.” I drag him through the servants’ entrance to the street and he hurries to a limo, knocking on the window.
“Hey, Charles, can I ask a huge favor?”
“Your place, I presume?” the old driver asks like this is something that happens a lot. I don’t care right now. Not really. Okay, I care a little but I’m way too high to come down yet.
He gets the door for me and I hurry inside before someone sees me leaving early, sitting down as he sits across from me.
The door is barely closed when the car starts moving.
Lawrence stares, trying to catch his breath.
I’m desperate for the moment we’re out of this vehicle.
He keeps swallowing like he might start talking but he doesn’t. And his eyes have that funny innocent and cute look to them.
It’s a tense pause.
His fingers dig into his jeans as if he’s holding himself back.
The car stops and I swear it’s been a lifetime of crazy silence.
He jumps out before the valet can get it and we’re at the Plaza.
This must be where he brings girls.
He grabs my hand and drags me from the car. My legs are seizing from the savage game but I keep up, even in heels.
We race past people who are saying good
