“What time did you get here?” Rich asks.
“Last night. They abducted me from my apartment in the afternoon. My bags were packed and my shit was already in the limo. They were seriously sitting outside my place waiting for me to get home from the final team workout.” I laugh. “It was crazy. What about you guys? How did you avoid coming early?” I ask and sip my coffee.
“We missed a bunch of calls and texts from Sami yesterday—I’m assuming it would’ve been something similar to your experience—but we were at a deprivation chamber. So we got the wakeup call this morning and caught the first flight out of LaGuardia at six am. Arrived here half an hour ago.” Rich shakes his head, stifling a yawn. “That was intense.”
“It was bullshit. The driver was at the house at five am, waking us up with Sami’s insanely secretive invitation. I went to bed at two last night.” Carson lifts the drink. “Hence the liquid breakfast.”
“And we arrived here at the worst time,” Rich adds. “As we walked in the door of Sami and Matt’s place, there was an incident with the wrong color napkins for the rehearsal or something? Sami was losing her shit. We escaped out the back door before Her Highness saw us. Brady tried to follow but he got caught making the escape. We stole his golf cart and left him behind.”
“Jesus.” I laugh bitterly. “The Princess and the Pauper needs to come second to the wedding. She’s going to drive everyone nuts and ruin the whole thing.” Sami and Nat’s influencer company makes us all crazy.
“But Sami will never allow the cameras to stop rolling. She wants everything recorded and photographed,” Carson groans. “Matt will eventually lose it and become a bear. You mark my words, he will eat someone this weekend. I just don’t want it to be me.”
“Me either.” I laugh, stunned he agreed to this publicized wedding in the first place. Brimley is a private guy.
“Have you seen the guest list?” Carson asks with a grin that screams he has.
“Nope.”
“There’s some single girls coming. No bridesmaids worth giving a second look, besides Nat, but I heard a couple of attendees are smokeshows.” He nudges me. “Just don’t let the cameras catch you up in that. There’ll be hell to pay.”
“There’s always hell to pay.” I finish my coffee. “Speaking of which, has Matt’s mom arrived yet?”
“A few hours away still.” Carson sighs. “She’ll be a bitch the entire weekend. And she’s bringing Matt’s sister-in-law and the kid. I don’t understand why people bring kids to weddings. It’s rude and inconvenient.”
“You mean besides little Eli?” Rich lifts an eyebrow.
“Obviously, Sami and Matt’s infant son should be at their wedding. But no one else needs to bring their little brats.” He finishes his drink. “I need a nap.”
“Are you guys staying over here with us peasants?” I motion toward the cabins smattered in the woods around us.
“Yeah, we got a cabin. I think we’re neighbors. The old guy checking us in said we had the option of being in one of the houses near Matt’s mom or a cabin kind of out of the way.” Rich snorts. “Needless to say, this was our choice. He gave us a key and brought our stuff over already.”
“Plus, we know Brady and Matt are gonna come over here and hide out the whole time. Might as well be where the action is.” Carson winks. “I think all the hockey players are here in the cabins.”
“That makes sense. Well, why don’t you guys go on and settle in on your side and I’ll get dressed and head over to see if they need my help with anything.” I point at the cabin attached to mine. They’re all built to be single-story duplexes.
“I was saying to Carson, we should take a hike into the hills after our nap.” Rich points to the mountains across the little valley from us. “There’s trails over there.”
“And I was saying count me out,” Carson sneers. “If the golf cart doesn’t go, neither do I. You guys are gonna get eaten by a bear, and Sami will bring you back from the dead to kill you again.”
“Don’t be such a pussy.” I grin at Carson. “If we find any bears, I know a trick.”
“Oh, I can imagine the tricks you Canadians have regarding wildlife.” Carson waves and walks back to the cart. “No, thanks!”
“Ignore him. We’ll meet you at Sami’s in a bit. Give us a couple of hours to get a small nap in.” Rich chuckles and follows his boyfriend to the golf cart, though they only have to drive a few feet to their driveway.
“That works. I think Sami wanted to do a picnic photoshoot anyway. I heard Brady talking about it. Lord knows I won’t be allowed to miss that.” I wave back and head inside to get changed, grateful at least Carson and Rich are here now too. Between them, me, and Brady, this should be an interesting weekend.
5 Sami-fu$$ing-Ford
Jenny
The thick forest on either side of the road makes the afternoon drive through the mountains of Tennessee that much more suspenseful. I have no idea what to expect. I know one thing: I’ve been forcefully bribed with low rent into attending Sami Ford’s marriage to Matt Brimley. Beyond the weirdly vague phone call on the train, I’ve been given no warning, no instructions, and only those few wardrobe suggestions which weren’t helpful. Spa resort with black tie?
I assumed it would be at a castle or something equally glamorous erected in her honor, until we landed in Tennessee. I seriously doubt there are any castles here.
“Why did Stan choose us to come to this?” Sukii, my
