In any situation—whether it be under the heading of “family,” “work,” or “social”; or even just seeing the atrocities reported on the evening news—you’ll become aware that there’s no “they” who have power over you. By refusing to turn the controls of your existence over to anyone or any set of circumstances, you’re exercising personal strength instead of force. You are indeed experiencing self-mastery, and this new state of internal control has come about because you’ve elected to live in accordance with the Tao. You don’t need the approval of others or another possession in order to be happy—you must merely understand yourself as a Divine piece of the eternal Tao, always connected to that infinite essence.
Lao-tzu equates the ability to look within for the Source of enlightenment and strength with eternal life. He reminds you that while externals such as knowledge and the power over others may provide a long life, shifting to being in charge of yourself offers imperishable wisdom and a ticket to immortality.
Here’s what this great master wants you to take from this verse of the Tao Te Ching and apply to your world:
Focus on understanding yourself instead of blaming others.
Whenever you’re anxious, in pain, or even mildly upset over the conduct of others, take the focus off those you’re holding responsible for your inner distress. Shift your mental energy to allowing yourself to be with whatever you’re feeling—let the Tao flow freely, without blaming others for your feelings. And don’t blame yourself either! Just allow the Tao to unfold. . . . Tell yourself that no one has the power to make you uneasy without your consent, and that 33rd Verse you’re unwilling to grant that authority to this person right now. But you are willing to freely experience your emotions without calling them “wrong” or needing to chase them away. Flow in the Tao now! In this way, with this simple exercise at the moment of your dis-ease, you’ve made a shift to self-mastery.
It’s important to bypass blame and even your desire to understand the other person; instead, focus on understanding yourself. By taking responsibility for how you choose to respond to anything or anyone, you’re aligning yourself with the Tao. Change the way you choose to perceive the power that others have over you and you will see a bright new world of unlimited potential for yourself.
Cultivate your desire for others to discover the Tao in their lives.
Dismiss any desire to extend power over others through the forceful nature of your actions and your personality. Ego believes that others are incapable of running their own lives and wants to control with force, so demonstrate your inner strength by abandoning such tactics. Catch yourself as you’re about to tell others how they “should” be. Use the opportunity to practice allowing them to learn their own lessons without interference from you. Notice how often you attempt to use verbal force to convince others to listen to you. Remind yourself to remain quiet and send loving energy. Practice this kind of self-mastery even though it’s rare in today’s world. You are strong enough to trust the Tao.
When your judgments dominate, the flow of the Tao slows. See how the world truly changes right before your eyes when you sincerely desire that others follow their own life paths, which will lead them to realize the greatness of the Tao. All those formerly perceived as needing you to tell them what or how to live are also the same as you are in the Tao’s wisdom and strength.
Do the Tao Now
Today, practice experiencing the unfolding of the Tao with someone who usually causes you distress. Consciously initiate a conversation with that in-law, ex-spouse, bullying co-worker, or family member, inviting the Tao to flow freely. Notice how, what, and where you feel; remain warmly and tolerantly in touch with the sensations within your body. You’ve entered the space of self-mastery in this moment.
Here’s what A Course in Miracles offers on this verse of the Tao Te Ching: “This is the only thing that you need to do for vision, happiness, release from pain. . . . Say only this, but mean it with no reservations . . . I am responsible for what I see. I chose the feelings I experience . . .”
34th Verse
The Great Way is universal;
it can apply to the left or the right.
All beings depend on it for life;
even so, it does not take possession of them.
It accomplishes its purpose,
but makes no claim for itself.
It covers all creatures like the sky,
but does not dominate them.
All things return to it as to their home,
but it does not lord it over them;
thus, it may be called “great.”
The sage imitates this conduct:
By not claiming greatness,
the sage achieves greatness.
Living the
Great Way
In this verse, Lao-tzu asks you to reevaluate your perception of greatness. Typical definitions tend to center around the amount of fame and fortune that an individual accumulates in his or her lifetime. As the previous verse emphasized, the power to dominate and control others can also be used as a benchmark of this quality: Commanders of huge armies and heads of state who attract worldwide attention are considered great. Yet great men or women are often thought of as having
