The ball rolled past Jon, as he had drifted away and lost focus.
“What happened?” the boy asked.
“Sorry,” Jon said, shaking the thoughts off and retrieving the ball. He kicked it back. “You know, Lucas is a really good name.”
“Thanks. It was my dad’s.”
“Where is he now?”
Lucas paused. He kneeled and picked the ball up off the ground. “It was good talking to you, Mr. Jon.”
“Wait, Lucas. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”
“It’s okay,” Lucas said. “I’m just tired of playing soccer. I’ll see you around.”
The boy jogged away and didn’t turn back. Jon put his hands on his hips and shook his head.
“Good job, dumb ass,” he said to himself.
As he scanned the area, Jon spotted Brooke standing next to a tree. They locked eyes for several moments before Brooke wiped tears from her eyes and headed toward her son.
Jon wanted to go after her, but he stopped himself. A vile feeling hit the pit of his stomach.
He knew he no longer belonged around people.
He knew it was time to go.
22
514 Days After the Outbreak
“I don’t think I can do this anymore.”
Jon jerked his head back. “What do you mean?”
Carrie paced back and forth next to their bed. She ran her hands through her hair before clutching the pendulum around her neck. Over the past several weeks, Jon had observed many changes in his wife. It had started with him noticing a few more gray hairs, which was something he had dealt with himself in this time of added stress. But then he had seen her face grow paler, almost if she had begun aging right before his very eyes. She had become more reclusive and less talkative, often sitting in a chair in the corner by herself and barely acknowledging the presence of her husband and son. When Jon would check on her, she would insist she was okay, which Jon, of course, knew was bullshit. But things had come to a head now.
“I can’t live like this anymore. I can’t. I can’t do it. I...” Carrie stopped pacing, pulling on her hair now.
Jon didn’t know what to do. He’d never seen Carrie like this. He knew when she was upset that the last thing she wanted was to be touched, so he hesitated to try to console her with a hug at the moment. But he wasn’t sure what to do.
“We don’t have any other options,” Jon said. “I know it’s boring here, but it’s safe. It’s maddening for all of us, being cooped up together in this house all the time, but it’s the only choice we have right now.”
“You don’t know what it’s like to be stuck in here,” Carrie said. “You get to go out on that bike you found and ride around and hunt and not be stuck on this property.”
“I get to? Do you know how dangerous it is out there, Carrie?”
“No, I don’t. Because I’m here all the time.”
Jon sighed. “Look, we need to hold it together; if for anything, then for Spencer.”
“And how long are we supposed to hold it together?” Carrie asked, her body tightening as she turned to face her husband. “What’s the end game?”
Jon narrowed his eyes. “‘What’s the end game?’ To survive.”
Carrie scoffed. “What the hell good is surviving if we have to live like this?”
Jon tried to keep his cool, but he struggled to hold back anger when it came to his wife’s delirious statements. “What other choice do we have? You want to head back to our house in the city? Try and go have dinner with your friends? That life is gone, Carrie, and so is half the goddamn world.”
“How do you know? You don’t. It’s not like we have news out here. For all we know, our neighborhood could be totally safe.”
Jon stood up, pointing toward one of the walls. “I know because I see those dead fucks lumbering around when I go out and try to find food to feed my family. Because there are no fucking cars on the road. Because the world as we knew it is gone, Carrie. And it’s time that you accept that. Quit turning to that stupid thing around your neck for answers and use some goddamn common sense for once.”
Carrie’s face turned red in the silence. All Jon could hear was his heavy breathing before he heard sniffling outside the door.
Spencer.
Jon pushed through the bedroom door only to see his son running down the hallway, turning into his bedroom and slamming the door behind him.
Turning around again, Jon saw the pale face of his wife as she covered her mouth. Tears drained from her eyes as she calmed back down, realizing the full brunt of the situation around them. She would come to know that what Jon had said was true. That this was the only way for their family to survive.
He thought it best to leave her alone. Plus, their son needed him.
“Spencer, open the door.”
23
“You sure you don’t wanna hang around a little longer?” Terrence asked.
Clicking his tongue, Jon nodded. “I’m sure of it, Terrence.”
“I understand. But it’s disappointing. We could really use you around here.”
“You all have survived just fine without me. I don’t think much about that is going to change.”
“Well, I went ahead and filled ‘er up. You only needed a couple of gallons, and we could spare that.”
Jon reached his hand out. “Thanks, brother.”
Terrence
