I surprise myself with how vehemently I defend them. But every word is true; as much as Crash and his friends are cold-blooded criminals, they were giant teddy bears when it came to making that little girl feel safe.
Kendra blinks and nods. “I had no idea. And I never would’ve thought that from the way they were so quick to get out of there once they made sure I was safe and got Dread to guarantee that the Death’s Disciples would leave us alone.”
Clearing my throat, I seek shelter in my glass, trying to hide the tears in the corner of my eyes and the tightening of my throat that happens any time I think about Crash. He was a good man, better than I thought I’d ever meet, and it pains me deep in my heart to think about how we’ve had to separate.
“I might’ve chased him away,” I say, my words so quiet I can hardly hear them. Then, louder, I say, “I should go wake up Josie. She will be so happy to see you.”
“Give me just a minute. Well, more like five minutes. I want to clean myself up a bit before she sees me. I don’t want to scare her too much. Oh, and can I borrow some of your clothes? I haven’t changed since they took me and I smell, and look, like warmed-over sewage.”
I laugh. “Yes, help yourself. And how about I wait fifteen minutes before I wake her? Honestly, you really need a full shower to wash all that grime off.”
“I’m only giving you a pass on telling me I stink because you saved my life,” she says, and then she creeps upstairs to my master bedroom to help herself to some of my clothes and use my bathroom.
In silence, I sit, and I think. And, like it has done so many times since, I think about Crash. About what life could’ve been if we had found a way to make it work. He made me feel special and loved in a way I never had with any partner, and he made me feel safe no matter what kind of danger I was in. I doubt whether I’ll ever find anything close to that ever again.
No matter what, it’ll be a long time before I even think about getting close to another man. If ever. So much of my life is in shambles right now — my bar is gone, I’ve lost the man I love, I’ve just now regained my best friend — that it will take a lot of work to put things back together. Who knows when I’ll feel ready to put myself out there again? Maybe never.
Crash. The first, and last, man I’ll love.
There’s a knock at the front door and my heart — and the rest of me — leaps up so fast on hearing the noise.
Has he come back for me? That hopeful refrain repeats in my head and my heart. Maybe he’s changed his mind. Maybe he’s willing to take a risk, to let someone else other than the club share his heart.
Then I open the door.
And the refrain in my heart changes, becomes a prayer for mercy and protection, as I see Switchblade and the knife in his hands. Before I can cry out, he seizes me by the throat and pulls me within inches of his grinning, malevolent face.
“Hey sweetheart. Let’s take a ride.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Crash
I’ve never ridden faster. Never pushed my bike harder. And every mile that burns by, I feel my heart rise higher in my throat as the worry that I’m not going fast enough, that I won’t be there to save her, grows.
I take every kind of risk driving down the mountain roads leading to Carbon Ridge. More times than I can count, I nearly crash my bike, gliding over patches of ice and feeling my tired wobble as I skid over chunks of uneven gravel — remnants of rockslides past.
Faster, I scream at my bike. Faster, damn it.
Business, the mission, all of that seems so unimportant compared to the urgent need I have to save that special woman from Switchblade. Because, no matter what Dread might say, I know there’s no leash strong enough for that sick son of a bitch.
Through downtown Carbon Ridge, I fly through every stoplight and stop sign, making a beeline right for Violet’s home.
I have to get there. Have to protect her. Fuck everything else. If she’s been hurt, I won't be able to live with myself.
As I draw up her driveway and the sight of her open front door, with the huddled figures of Kendra and Josie standing in it, grows in my vision, I feel my sight go black with sickness and rage.
She’s gone.
Taken.
I know it before Josie comes running toward me, arms open, tears streaming down her face. And seeing that little Speed Demon come running toward me makes me want to howl in anger.
“Uncle Crash, she’s gone,” she wails, throwing her arms around my waist. “She’s gone. You need to find her. You have to.”
Kendra says nothing. We trade a knowing look, because she’s smart enough to understand what’s happened here: Switchblade.
“I will, little Speed Demon. I will,” I say, as I ruffle her hair and kiss her forehead. “I’m going to need you to stay here with your mom. You’re going to have to protect her. Can you do that for me? Can you be brave?”
With tears running down her cheeks, she nods.
