5
Fleance
He hated to push her out, but it was for the best. In the rush of first seeing her and the fight with Parker, he hadn’t thought of what it would mean for Sheena to be his mate.
Being with him had already left her injured. He could promise until the sun went down that he would protect her, but the truth was he’d never been able to keep anyone safe. She deserved to know that before they decided what to do next. And until then, he couldn’t risk letting her in. With his experience keeping his thoughts hidden from Parker, it was disturbingly easy to avoid her attempts to reach him via the mate bond.
A real mate wouldn’t hide from his fated mate like this, he thought bitterly, but kept the thoughts close. Locked away, where no one but him and his hellhound could hear them.
Still, his gut twisted when he saw her react to him closing himself off. An apology was already on his lips when she squared her shoulders and looked him straight in the eye.
“All right,” she said, her voice barely wavering. “Everyone’s always telling me not to jump into things blind. You pulling back on my reins is just more proof you’re my perfect match, eh?”
“I…”
“If we’re going to take things slow…” She stepped back and smoothed her hands over her sweater. His sweater. Fleance’s chest clenched. If this conversation went the way he expected, the shirt and pants Sheena had borrowed from him were the closest anything of his were going to get to being that close to her. “Let’s take it real slow. I don’t know about you, but I could do with something to eat. Healing really takes it out of me. And a shower, cos, you know, rolling around in the dirt tends to…”
She shook her head and winced. “Geez, listen to me rabbiting on. Shower. Food. Sound good?”
Fleance didn’t let himself check the mate bond to find out what she was thinking behind her bright-eyed smile. Relying only on her body language made him feel more unmoored than he expected. As unexpected as the sinking feeling in his stomach that the unmoored-ness gave him. He was so used to hating the choking chains that anchored him to another person, that he didn’t know what to do with this new feeling.
Get used to it, he told himself firmly as Sheena ordered room service. He held on until she disappeared into the bathroom and then dropped his head into his hands with a groan as he sat down on the bed. She won’t want anything to do with you when she knows the truth.
For a few minutes, he convinced himself he could handle it. Then Sheena appeared at the bathroom door again, her damp curls dripping onto the shoulders of a plush white bathrobe that cocooned her from neck to ankles. She should have looked ridiculous, wrapped in a robe far too big for her. Instead, she was radiant.
And Fleance was lost.
“Shower’s free!” Sheena said brightly. Fleance jumped up. He still couldn’t let himself check the mate bond, but the clean, sweet smell of her as she stepped aside to let him into the bathroom was unavoidable. He wanted to—
No. He had to control himself. He’d spent too long a slave to his hellhound’s vulnerabilities. He wouldn’t let her become one, too.
He showered quickly, his nose twitching at the hint of sulfur as he opened the window to help clear the steam. Normal sulfur, he reminded himself. Not the stench that accompanied hellhounds.
When he finally pulled on fresh clothes and went back out to join Sheena, he felt like the shower had added to the weight on his shoulders, not released it. And the sight of Sheena setting out covered plates on the tiny dining table, still wearing the robe, did nothing to help.
He cleared his throat, intending to ask her if she wanted a few more minutes to get dressed, but something about the obstinate tilt of her chin told her that would be a lost cause. His pulse quickened, despite himself. A meal with his mate wrapped only in a robe, sitting overlooking a serene lake, snow-covered hills in the distance… It was picture-perfect. The sort of thing that belonged in a Christmas rom-com, not in his life.
“I brought the table in from the balcony,” Sheena said, distributing cutlery. “The wine list said this red was chosen with Rotorua’s unique aroma in mind, but I figured it would be even better without. Besides, I’ve had my quota of freezing my arse off today already.”
She flashed him a smile that was too quick for him to tell if it was genuine or not and sat down.
Feeling like he was moving through mud, Fleance followed suit. The table was so small their knees almost touched beneath it. Fleance felt his senses start to shut down out of self-defense—all of this, her, her scent, the fact that she was only wearing a robe, was all too much—except at that moment Sheena whipped the covers off the plates and the smell of their meal overwhelmed everything else.
His stomach growled. Sheena groaned out loud.
“I always forget how hungry shifting makes me,” she said, reaching for her knife and fork. “And I’m only a sheep—I hope I ordered enough.”
Fleance blinked. She’d ordered seared steaks and a seafood platter, and half a dozen sides including a heaped pile of steaming ravioli in butter sauce and a crispy noodle salad. Two slices of chocolate cake fought for space at the very edge of the table.
“I should have gone for the cheese platter, too,” she muttered, worried. “Oh, shit. I forgot you’re the one paying for this.”
“Don’t worry about—”
“I’ll pay you back, okay? As soon as I get my stuff back.”
“Really, don’t worry about it.” He caught her gaze and tried to smile. “What’s mine is yours.”
She didn’t look reassured. “Right. Well… it’s kai time. Food
