“You’re going to miss the bachelorette party? And the rehearsal dinner?” Cassy’s voice is close to frantic, like I’m the one who’s going to ruin it all for her.
“She’ll be there, dear. Bliss is having a moment. I’m sure it will pass.” Margaret Meyer’s threatening voice slides over me like a wet blanket. I fight the shiver that comes with it.
“I’m so glad to see that you still want to meddle in the lives of your children without their consent or the need for further information. You don’t give a shit who you hurt as long as it appears that you have the perfect family. Even when your children’s lives are on the line.”
The words are out of my mouth before I can censor them. Fuck, this isn’t going to be pretty.
“Leave. Now.” Her voice is deadly, her face red with rage. She knows exactly what she did. She put Tilly in an early grave, and I will never forgive her for it.
“I don’t really do the girl-party thing, but I’ll come to the rehearsal dinner,” I say to Cassy, grabbing my purse and storming out the backdoor of the restaurant.
The sea air hits me, soothing the stifling air that’s made a home in my lungs.
The sun is high in the sky, glinting off the water and inviting me to see it closer. I cross the boardwalk, down the alley the pier has made jutting out into the sea.
There are people all around. Some with families, others just enjoying the breeze off the water. Benches are sporadically placed throughout, but I don’t want to sit. I want to fly.
My shoes get caught in the grooves of the planks, but I press on. What is a pair of ruined shoes? It’s not like I can’t afford another.
Reaching the end, I grasp the ledge and lean over. The waves crash against the pillars, making a foam so luscious I want to bathe in it. The ocean water looks so inviting.
Hypnotized, I place my bag on the ground next to me. The wind blows my short dress up, but I don’t bother to hold it down. It’s not like the hotel guests didn’t get a glimpse of it last night.
I set my foot on the railing, boosting me up about two feet. The bar presses against my thighs. I’m not high enough.
I grasp the top rail and put my foot on the second rail. When I straighten, the top rail is at my knees. The wind is stronger up here, beating against me and making it hard to hold on with just my feet in these stupid shoes.
I have to take these shoes off. I want to feel everything, want to be taken out of this life for a moment. Leaning down, I grasp the rail with one hand and struggle with the strap of my right heel. It won’t budge. My alcohol-soaked mind spins as I turn upside down to grab the shoe with both hands.
The breeze brushes my face, then I’m falling into the water below. I have a second of clarity before the cool water pulls me under.
A heavy weight crushes my chest as I sink down to the bottom. The sun’s rays glimmer, out of my reach.
All I feel is acceptance and peace. The torment inside me is finally going to end.
I let go.
My eyes close as the pull of the underworld tugs me into a place where I can no longer feel pain or guilt, where I will be with Tilly like before the cancer consumed my sister, my best friend.
I gasp for air, my lungs filling with sea water. My vision blinks in and out. The pain of not breathing is too much. Before I black out, I see the face of my savior, and I know this battle is lost.
CHAPTER EIGHT
CARSON
From my perch, I see the only person I’d recognize in a sea of people. The taste of her is still on my mouth as I watch her fall into water.
I don’t think, only react. Grabbing my rescue can, I run as fast as my legs will take me, screaming for Ashton to call 911 in the walkie before throwing it on the sand.
My dive is flawless as I break the surface. The ocean is tortuous today, the tide strong, but I’m stronger. I use all my strength to kick, my adrenaline fueling me to swim faster.
She’s right there, three meters from me. She’s sinking, her raven hair a curtain in the water like an ink stain. Her eyes are closed. For a second, I think I’ve lost her.
My chest tightens at the thought of being without her. I shouldn’t feel this way about the girl who reminds me of everything I hate, but I do. There’s no more denying it.
I reach her just as she’s about to slip away and fall further into the abyss. Her small frame fits perfectly to mine as I push for the surface. I inhale a lungful of oxygen and thrust us forward with the last of my energy.
I see Ashton on the beach and hear the sirens in the distance. My feet hit the sandy bottom moments later, and gravity brings to my knees.
Ashton’s there in a moment, grabbing her from me and running onto dry sand. I scurry after them, dropping next to her prone form. Her lips are turning blue. Fear pulses through me.
Ashton begins chest compressions. I wait for his signal to do mouth to mouth. We don’t get far before the paramedics find us. We make way for them and let them work. She’s still not responsive.
Ashton’s hand is on my shoulder as we stare down, hoping and praying for her to come to. She has to. I can’t imagine her being gone. Now that I’ve accepted it, I want to know all of her.
She begins to choke, water flowing from her lips as the paramedics roll her on her side. She still doesn’t open her eyes, but both Ashton and I sag against
