“I’m broken, Ashton.”
I get up and walk over to the edge of the water. My feet hit the cool waves, and the breeze lifts my hair, taking with it the last heat my neck was holding on to. I’m about to collapse inside.
“Bliss.” He grabs my shoulders and spins me to face him. I hold on to his forearms as if he’ll anchor me in place. Let me stay a little longer in this perfect world where there are no dead sisters or mean mothers.
“He’ll get hurt, and he doesn’t deserve that. He’s built a life here. I’m still trying to find mine.”
He pulls me in for a hug and rubs my back. “Sweetheart, you’re so fucking worth it. And this is coming from a guy who wants nothing to do with that gross “L” word.”
He gives a mock shudder, and I laugh into his chest. I don’t want to leave him either. Two guys have touched me in different ways in such a short amount of time. It doesn’t feel real.
I don’t know how long we stand there, staring at the moon over the water, but by the time I reach my hotel room, my tears are dried and a bit of the weight is lifted off my chest.
CHAPTER TWELVE
BLISS
Wedding day. The light shines through the windows, and I stay in bed for a moment, mentally preparing myself for what’s ahead—a day full of happiness and love. My brother deserves that. I feel like a bitter cow because I can’t feel that happiness and love for him.
There’s a banging on my door. Dragging myself out of bed, I grab a robe and throw it over my tank-top and shorts. The air-conditioner is on way too high.
The banging continues, only this time louder. Someone better be on fire.
“One second!” I do a quick mirror check and look through the peephole. Then I throw the door open.
“You’re up. Good,” Royce says before pushing past me and marching into suite. His hair is messed up as if he’s been pulling on it, his shirt untucked and pants wrinkled. What is going on?
“Why are you here and not doing groom things?” I ask, rubbing my eyes.
“I’m getting married today.” His hands are on his hips and his blond mustache looks like it has something in it.
“Yes, I am aware. It’s why we’re all in Bordentown.”
He begins to pace near the window. “I’m marrying Cassy today.”
Okay, now he’s mumbling like a psycho. “Royce, sit down. I’ll order up some coffee. Have you eaten?”
“What? Yeah, no. That’s great.” He throws his body down on the couch like a five-year-old in the midst of a tantrum.
I pick up the phone, place the order, then sit on him. He groans and pushes me off. Laughing, I perch on the edge of the armchair.
“Tell me what’s wrong. You’re acting like a crazy person.”
“I don’t know if I can do it. There are so many people here. What if I say the wrong thing? What if the flowers are the wrong color?” His voice is muffled by the pillow, so I have to strain to hear him.
When I smack him on the back of the head, he turns and glares at me.
“You’re actually freaking out about flowers? Royce, you loving Cassy is all that matters. There is nothing else to worry about.”
“Yes, there is! What if this is a mistake? We don’t even live together. She could have like this really bad habit I don’t know about. What if she leaves hair in the shower?”
He looks so helpless and ridiculous at the same time. “What’s the real reason you’re freaking out? Because you know all of this isn’t the reason.”
Tears form in his eyes and his lip wobbles. My brother, stoic like my mother, is crying in front of me.
“Shit, Royce. What’s the matter?”
He wipes his nose on the back of his hand, his blue eyes looking right through me. “What if she dies like Tilly?”
Of all the things my brother could have said, I never thought it would be this. My insides crumble, and I begin to cry with him. I move so quick that we end up in a tangle on the couch.
I hold him tight. We’ve never spoken about Tilly before. Royce chose to act like my mother, so I didn’t think he needed me. I’ve been such a spoiled twit.
“Royce, you can’t think like that. She’s not going to die like Tilly. She’s healthy. And you guys are in love. You owe it to yourself to live the life you built together. Don’t let fear of the future trap you into doing something rash. Cassy is a wonder. She’s going to make a loving wife and give me awesome little nieces.”
His grip tightens, and the sobs begin to quiet. “I’ve been such a shitty brother. I didn’t reach out to you when I saw how much you were hurting. It was more comfortable to walk away. I’m sorry.”
I wipe the tears from his face as he lifts his head. “We weren’t taught how to love, Royce. Tilly was the baby. The magical child that came along and made us a family. She was everything for all of us, and when she left, we didn’t know how to be without her.”
“She was so fucking amazing. That last Christmas where she made us do all the traditional things. I feel like that was the last time I was truly happy. When I felt joy.”
“Me too. It was a gift. She was our gift. And now Cassy gets to become family, too. We can make our own traditions now. We have to leave this pain in the past. Coming here was good for me, as much as I didn’t want to.”
“You mean almost dying?”
I slap him on the shoulder and rest my head on the back of the couch.
