Haddie rustles his blond curls. “Sure thing, ‘lil man. Anything you want, but you have to clean up your room and take a bath for momma, okay?”
“Otay!” he shouts as he cleans up his racetrack and putting it in his toy box.
“I will run you a bath while you finish cleaning up.” I place a kiss on the top of his head before following Haddie out of the room.
As soon as I step over the threshold, Haddie questions me about what happened. “I have no idea what went on when you went outside. Rylee just told me to take Colt to the back of the house and not come back out there ‘til you came to see us.”
“Colt asked Tyler to be his dad,” I say as I enter the bathroom and turn the warm water on. I watch the tub fill slowly before putting a few drops of bubble bath in it.
“I don’t know why everyone is so upset about that. I think it’s great that he is so taken with Tyler. It will be much easier for you to start dating this way.”
Haddie has no idea how much more complicated our situation is than that, but I’m the one who kept secrets from my friend. “Tyler is Colt’s dad,” I blurt out, ripping off the Band-Aid quickly hoping we can move on to something else.
The shock of my statement is written all over Haddie’s face, but she quickly composes herself before speaking. “Does he know?” I shake my head no as I shut the water off and wait for Colt to come barreling into the bathroom.
“Do you intend on telling him?”
“I don’t know,” I answer, which is the truth. Knowing why Tyler was away for so long doesn’t negate the fact that he couldn’t be bothered to call or even send word that things were okay. I had to grow up quickly, for different reasons, but it forced me to get my life together because of Colt.
“I’m disappointed in you, Lucy. No matter what that man has done in the past, anyone can see how much he cares for you and Colt. Not telling him he is the father of this amazing little boy is cruel.” Haddie spins on her heels and heads out of the bathroom door.
“I know,” I whisper after her. If Haddie is anything, she is honest. She doesn’t sugar coat what she is feeling or whether she thinks you’ve made poor decisions. Before today I was never on the opposite end of her judgement.
“What do you know, Momma?” Colt asks as he strips off his clothes and climbs into the bathtub.
“I know that I love you very much,” I smile at him before taking a seat next to the tub on the floor.
“And Tywer. You luv him too, right?” He asks as he plays with his bath toys.
“Wash first and then you can play.” I hand him a loofa with some soap on it and wait as he soaps up his arms and stomach. I turn around as he stands to wash the bottom half of his body.
“I’m all done,” he says as he splashes down back into the water.
I decide this is as good of a time as any to discuss his conversation with Tyler earlier. I know he must have a million questions that only I can answer. “I heard what you and Tyler were talking about before I came home.”
Colt immediately stops playing and turns toward the bathroom wall. “I trouble?”
“No, baby. You aren’t in trouble, but do you have any questions you want to ask me about what Tyler said.”
“No. Tyler luvs me and I luv him,” he responds matter-of-factly like that is the only information he needs.
“Okay, but if you have questions, you can ask me. I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”
He gives me a bright smile before he goes back to playing with his toys. I know I’m going to have to tell him about his father and why my family is so absent in our lives, but that can wait.
I pull down the detachable shower head and turn the water on, waiting for it to warm up. Once it is warm, I get Colt’s attention before spraying down his head so I can wash his hair.
“Did you and Tyler have fun today?” I ask as I scrub his hair clean before rinsing him once again.
“Yes! We played tag, and he owed my how to play aseball. He pushed me a lot on the swing.” His little face scrunches up as he thinks about everything they did during the day.
I pull the plug and wait patiently for him to finish his tale. “Oh! He romised we would ake a fort in the tree. He even said I coud help.”
“That’s great! But you know I can just buy you one, right?” I wrap him in a fuzzy towel and carry him to his bedroom. “Tyler has work to do for Colton. I’m not sure he will have too much time to come and build that for you.”
As I place him down, he brings his tiny little hands to my cheeks. “He romised,” he says, straight faced and full of conviction. It’s sad that my son has more faith in Tyler than I do, but it’s hard to change at the drop of a hat.
“Okay. You get dressed while I change my clothes. I’m sure the pizza Haddie promised will be here soon.” I give him a smile before walking across the hall to my room.
As soon as the door shuts behind me, I slide down to the floor and let all the emotions I’ve been holding at bay loose. I sob for the pain I heard in Tyler’s voice before he left. I cry for the pain I have felt for the last four years after being abandoned by the one person I thought would be with me forever. But most of all I cry for my little boy who may have just lost the father
