But I’d never found quite the right words for that, so I held out my left arm and placed the fingers of my right hand on each of the four round bruises that Dad had made a few days ago.
“I’m not getting on that bus,” I said again, holding his gaze.
I moved my fingers, and he stared at the spot where they’d been. He looked at me and then quickly away.
He grabbed his phone from the floor and swiped at it.
“Oh no, I deleted it.” He swiped a few more times. “Too bad, I seem to have deleted it from my trash as well. I guess I never got it at all.”
Relief flooded my veins, and I had to blink away a fresh round of tears. I wiped my hands across my cheeks and smiled at him.
“Thank you.”
He returned the smile. He had a heavy, dark brow that made him look like he always had something serious to say, but his smile was sweet, almost innocent.
I pushed my bangs out of the way with an embarrassed laugh. “I guess I don’t even know if I made it, right?” The humiliation was starting to break through the panic. I was on the ground. My eyes were probably red and puffy. I’d just told him my darkest secret.
“Wellll . . .” His face broke into a grin again. I wished my nose would stop running. “Don’t tell anyone I did this.” He tapped on his phone a few times. “I remember you from the sparring, I’m pretty sure you . . . Yep. You’re in.”
I let out a short laugh. The world was tilted, and I wasn’t sure I’d heard him right. Maybe I’d passed out and was dreaming of a world where I was going to put an ocean between me and Texas. “Seriously?”
“Yes. Actually, Grayson has you marked on here.” He squinted at his phone. “Oh! You’re the one who jumped Edan outside the hotel.”
Honestly, I didn’t mind that this was how people knew me. There were worse things to be known for.
I laughed again. My body felt about a hundred times lighter. “Yeah, that was me.”
“He made a note that you were in, unless you did really horribly at the tryouts. And you didn’t do really horribly.”
“Only a little bit horribly?” I wiped the last of my tears away.
“Only at shooting. No guns for you.”
“I’m good with that.”
“You were assigned to my team, actually. I’m taking one of the young teams.” He smiled at me. I didn’t think I would mind being on his team at all.
He jumped up, offering me his hand. I took it and let him pull me to my feet.
The world went black around the edges, and I stumbled, bumping into his shoulder.
“Whoa.” He grabbed both my arms, which I was pretty sure was the only thing keeping me from falling back to the floor. “Are you OK?”
“Yeah.” I blinked until the world came into focus again. Julian was staring at me, brows knitted together. The smile was cute, but maybe the concern was cuter.
No, that was not what was important right now. Growling stomach. Fainting. Priorities.
“I just didn’t eat today . . . Well, a nice girl gave me half a protein bar but . . .” I shook my head, my thoughts finally falling back into place. My legs felt solid on the ground again.
“All you ate today is half a protein bar?”
“And I didn’t eat anything yesterday, so . . .” I laughed to hide my embarrassment. There was just no way this interaction could get any worse at this point.
“What?” His concern was growing. “Why wouldn’t you eat anything yesterday?”
“I don’t have any food. Or any money to buy some.” I said it evenly, like I didn’t want to dig a hole in the ground and stick my head in it.
“Oh my god. You could have told—” He cut himself off. “I was about to order an obscene amount of Chinese food for some of the team leaders. You’re having some.”
I wasn’t even going to pretend to protest. “Thank you.”
“I’ll need to pick it up because they don’t deliver, but I’ll run you up to my room real quick first. You can wait there.”
“Your . . .” I let my voice trail off. His room? I desperately wanted food, but I was not in the habit of following strange guys into their hotel rooms. Even if they were one of Grayson’s team leaders.
“Oh!” His face lit up with understanding. “Right. Sorry. I should have said. Some of the guys are already up there. And Grayson and Madison are headed that way too. So it won’t just be us.”
I smiled, relieved that he understood my hesitancy. “Great.”
He steered me to the door, his hand on my arm like he was afraid I might swoon again. We took the elevator up to the top floor, and he led me around the corner to the last door. He swiped his card and pushed it open.
“After you,” he said with a smile.
I stepped inside. It was a suite, with a little living room and kitchen area, the door to the bedroom ajar to my left. Two vaguely familiar men were in the kitchen area, both typing furiously on their phones. Team leaders. They looked like most of Grayson’s team leaders—muscular, early twenties, white, shoulders tense like they expected something to jump out at them. The one with shoulder-length brown hair tied back in a ponytail glanced up at me and did a double take.
“Can I use your bathroom?” I asked Julian quietly, very aware that my eyes were probably red and my cheeks splotchy.
“Sure. It’s through the bedroom.” He pointed. “I’m going to order the food. Anything you want? Or don’t like?”
“I don’t like seafood,” Ponytail said. He seemed to be deliberately avoiding my gaze, in that way guys did when they didn’t know how to handle a girl’s tears.
“Wasn’t talking to you,” Julian said, rolling his eyes and throwing a
