“Listen, Clara.” His face was close enough to mine to feel his breath. “I know that we didn’t get to spend as much time together as we wanted the last couple weeks, but I feel like I should tell you that I think about you all the time. I wish that you were with me all the time.”
I curled my fingers around his waist because I was suddenly very worried that I was going to melt into a happy puddle on the floor.
“I was so mad at myself for letting you go with the team to the campsite alone. I should have been there to protect you. I’m going to be here to protect you from now on.” He said the last line so fiercely that I didn’t have the heart to point out that I was able to protect myself. “No matter what happens, we’ll figure it out together, OK? You and me. You’re not alone.”
My throat had closed, but I didn’t have the words anyway. I was going to try for thank you, but he pulled me close, pressing his lips to mine, and I didn’t have to say anything at all.
Team seven had just one room, a huge space with rows of bunk beds stacked three high, matching white sheets and blue blankets on each. I showered and changed, then climbed into my top bunk. I could already hear someone snoring, and the lights flipped off a few minutes later.
I tucked my phone against the wall and burrowed under the blankets. I tossed and turned for a while, listening to the sounds of breathing around me. Edan and I had only napped for a few hours, so I should have been exhausted, but my brain was being pulled in a million different directions—MDG, Julian, smarter UK scrabs. I sighed as I flopped over on my stomach.
In the bed across from me, Edan was also on his stomach, a book flat on his pillow. He was using his phone flashlight to see the pages.
He lifted his head from his book suddenly, catching me watching him. He opened his mouth like he was going to speak, then seemed to think better of it. He flipped his phone over and began typing. Mine lit up a moment later.
Sorry, is the light keeping you up?
I typed a message. No, I just can’t sleep.
Me either.
What are you reading?
Ancillary Justice. I put some books on my wish list thinking I’d just get a couple, but people got them all for me. Plus some more that they thought I would enjoy. So if you want to borrow a book I’m your guy.
I may take you up on that. I haven’t read a book in a while. That’s probably why I failed English.
Right after hitting Send, I realized how stupid that message made me sound. My cheeks flushed, and I was glad it was too dark for him to see.
He let out a quiet huff of air that was sort of like a laugh as he read it. He widened his eyes like he agreed.
God yes. Most of the books we read in English class made me want to stab myself in the eye.
I smiled, relieved, and typed a message. Heart of Darkness? I definitely considered stabbing something or someone while reading that one.
Never read it. I probably dropped out before having to be subjected to it.
Right. He’d said he dropped out his sophomore year. I had better things to do, he’d said.
That must have been when he left home. His better things to do was probably trying to find a place to sleep and a way to feed himself.
He sent another message. Do you like graphic novels?
I don’t think I’ve ever read one.
I have a few issues of Saga. I think you’d like it. Want me to grab it for you tomorrow?
That would be great.
He looked up with a smile, which I returned. I mouthed good night and rolled over, closing my eyes and willing sleep to come.
32
Julian let us have a late start the next morning. We didn’t have to be down in the lobby until ten, but I was still sluggish, yawning as I put on my uniform and grabbed my weapons pack.
Laurence had texted me in the middle of the night, responding to the message I’d sent him before I went to bed. I scrolled through them as I walked downstairs and into the lobby.
Glad you’re OK. You didn’t blow up a farm, did you? They’re saying some kids from Grayson’s teams got ahold of some explosives.
Also did you know that there are pictures of you and Julian kissing on Tumblr? It’s kind of creepy.
“Everything OK?”
I looked up to see Julian standing in front of me. “Are there pictures of us kissing on Tumblr?”
He rolled his eyes. “Yes. Some weirdo took our picture.”
“Last night?”
“Yeah. Noah has made you all into mini celebrities, whether you like it or not.”
“It’s a nice picture, though!” Priya called. She was standing nearby with Laila, looking at her phone.
“It is, I guess,” Julian grumbled. “Why? Did someone say something?”
“My brother. He follows all the team seven stuff.” I clicked over to Tumblr to look. It was a nice picture. Julian had his hands on my cheeks. We looked happy.
“Why do you keep in touch with your brother?”
I glanced up, surprised. “Why wouldn’t I?”
He lowered his voice. “Because he didn’t protect you. He’s older, right?”
“He’s twenty.”
“Jesus. Yeah. He should have protected you.”
I didn’t think I agreed, but I wasn’t going to get into it with half the team standing nearby.
“Oh, you’re here,” Madison said, striding up beside Julian. “I thought you might take the day off since your parents arrive today.”
“Some of us actually take our responsibilities seriously, Madison,” Julian snapped. His words dripped with disdain.
I reeled back, surprised, and a contrite look crossed Julian’s face.
“Sorry,” he said with a sigh. “I’m . . . stressed.”
Madison just shot him an annoyed look
