“It’s not like I’m trying to,” she said, her voice wobbly.
He wiped her tears with his thumbs. “Cassidy, you’re the most incredible woman I’ve ever met, and I love you—all of you.” He gave her a long, intense look. “Let’s walk this road together, support each other through thick and thin. Love isn’t just for sunny days, you know,” he added. “It’s for the stormy ones too.”
“It’s just so hard,” she said as the fear of falling gripped her like a vice.
“It’s okay to be scared,” he said.
Another tear escaped her lids and she closed her eyes.
“Let go, baby,” Pete said, caressing her cheek. “Nothing is going to keep us apart now.”
“How can you be sure?” she said, her voice barely a whisper.
He kissed her forehead. “Because we’ve been through hell and back.” He wrapped her into his arms. “We’re stronger than we’ve ever been.”
Fifteen
Seattle, Washington
June 2, 2016
Cassidy took a moment to gaze around the table, feeling buzzed from all the attention. After grilling her for over two hours, her defense committee had taken all of about ten minutes to confer, and she was now Dr. Cassidy Kincaid. With her tribe in tow, they migrated to a local pub to celebrate. Next to her, Pete chatted with her advisor; across the table, her old advisor from Berkeley, Dr. Jon Morrow was going head-to-head with Dr. Angela Preston, a professor on her committee; to her right, Quinn flirted with Emily and Miles; and his girlfriend Shelby listened to her financial advisor, Rodney, lecture them on the importance of investing early.
At the nearby pool table, her stepsister, Rebecca, played a game with her younger brother, Reeve. “I thought he was still in jail,” Cassidy had replied when Rebecca asked to bring him along. “He got out early for good behavior. He’s really trying, Cass,” Rebecca explained, a pleading tone in her voice.
The waiter brought another pitcher of beer, which quickly disappeared into pint glasses. Dr. Ken Thompson clinked his glass with his fork and stood, looking at Cassidy expectantly.
“Congratulations are in order,” Ken said, looking around the table. Conversations died down as all eyes turned to him. “It hasn’t been easy,” he said, his eyes connecting with Cassidy’s. “The long hours in the field. The drudgery of data analysis. Collaborating. Grant writing. Proposals that get denied. Papers that get rejected.” He paused. “But Cassidy has proven herself over and over again to be both brilliant and determined.”
Next to her, Pete squeezed her hand. Opening up to him in Tofino had caused some kind of shift. His pledge to stick by her despite her fears played over and over in her mind as they explored the little town, played Frisbee on the beach, and surfed. They kissed over their morning coffee and reached for each other throughout the day for a caress or to hold hands. Let go, he’d said, as if speaking to her soul.
Inspired by her surfing experience, she had taken to late-night swims at the University’s pool. Something about the chilly water and the work soothed her busy mind. Her writing began flowing again and she met her extended deadline, though just barely. Another publication opportunity—as first author—arrived and she had pounced.
“To your bright future,” Ken continued, raising his glass. “Congratulations, Dr. Kincaid.”
“Cheers!” the crowd said together.
“Speech!” someone called out, and a few others joined in.
Feeling slightly wobbly—whether from her two beers or the high of her accomplishment she didn’t know—Cassidy stood. She thanked her advisor and her committee, her friends for their support, and finally, Pete. “I couldn’t have done it without you,” she said, their eyes connecting. “There was a time when . . . when I wasn’t sure I could do it. But you . . . ” Her voice cracked and she paused a moment to collect herself. She wasn’t going to cry in front of all these people. “You believed in me,” she finished. “Thank you.” She felt her eyes get blurry, and wiped them with the back of her hand. If only her father were here. She imagined him wearing his usual ironed khaki pants, loafers, and red-checked button-down shirt and matching bow tie, his smile lighting up the room. Cassidy’s eyes met Reeve’s. He held his pool cue and gazed back at her with his characteristic smirk. Rebecca stood stock-still, her hands placed on the edge of the table. Then her eyes found Quinn’s, so calm yet edged with the pain he couldn’t hide from her. “Thank you all for being here. It means so much,” she said as her emotions tumbled and swirled inside her.
At some point later she realized that Pete and Quinn were both missing. She wondered if they were hashing out the details of Pete’s upcoming visit to San Francisco to meet with his editor. Quinn would surely show him his favorite haunts, and Cassidy wondered what kind of trouble the two fast friends would get into. Pete wanted to research a story idea while there, as well. Lately, he had been up late at night, reading about immigration laws and conducting phone interviews. Cassidy had been too consumed with the final phase of her dissertation to pay much attention to the details.
“So what’s going to happen to Casa de Rocas now that you’re going to Eugene?” Emily asked over the bar’s steady din.
Across the room, Reeve and Miles had moved on to a game of darts. Wary of his behavior, Cassidy had kept an eye on Reeve’s drinking. To her surprise, after two beers, he quit. Cassidy wondered if Rebecca’s coaching was behind this.
Cassidy was tempted to tell Emily about owning the house, but it seemed weird to admit it now. “Well, if we put up flyers in the geology lounge I’m sure you’ll pick up some more rock geeks. Plus, you and Juno will still be there to carry the torch.” Miles and Shelby had graduated from medical school and were renting a place together.
“When are you moving out?” Emily asked.
“At the end of
