“I’m on my way.” He hung up.
I stood there and stared down at the receiver. My hands shook and my heart raced so fast I thought I might vomit. I dropped down and hugged my knees, sitting on the floor, taking deep breaths to try and get myself under control.
I went insane back there. I must’ve lost my mind completely. That guy wasn’t very big or threatening, but he had a knife and he was desperate and he was still bigger than me. I don’t know what I was thinking, attacking him like that. If Sander hadn’t come back when he did, I would’ve been dead on the ground. There was no doubt in my mind that junky idiot would’ve stabbed me without thinking twice about it.
Maybe it was all this time around Owain. I was getting desensitized to violence, and that scared the hell out of me. I wasn’t a violent person and I wasn’t interested in hurting people. And yet when I had the chance to attack, I took it without hesitating, all to defend some pills and some money. I risked my life for money, and that wasn’t the kind of person I thought I was.
I hated it. God, I hated it.
But I couldn’t run from it, either.
Like it or not, I was in a violent business now. I was in the drug trade, and that necessarily came with certain facts.
That wasn’t the last asshole that would try and rob me. The thought sent a chill down my spine. It was going to happen again, and when it did I had to be ready for it. Otherwise, I’d end up dead.
Owain showed up about five minutes later. I heard his car screech to a halt outside and his door slam. He flew into the front door with his gun out, his eyes wide and his face red with anger and exertion. I stood up and stared at him, and tried to smile a little bit to take the edge off his rage.
“Where is he?”
“In the back.”
He looked away from me and stormed toward the door.
“Wait, Owain.” I left Sander’s cube and followed him. “Hold on. Sander’s got him covered. There’s no need—”
He kicked the door open and walked in to the back. Sander stood over the groaning junky with the shotgun inches from his head. He looked up and stepped back as Owain approached.
I stood in the doorway and watched as Owain kicked the guy once, twice, then rolled him over and knelt down in his face.
“Do you know who I am?”
“No,” the junky said. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I got shot. I need a doctor.”
Owain pressed his gun against the guy’s head. “You tried to steal from me. You realize that, don’t you?”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please don’t hurt me. I didn’t mean… I just wasn’t…”
“Worst of all, you robbed her. You picked the wrong place to fuck with.”
“Wait.” I stepped over, hands out. “Owain, don’t.”
He hesitated. I could tell he wanted to squeeze that trigger and kill the bastard, but he looked up at me with a strange, puzzled expression.
“Don’t kill him,” I said.
“Why not? Give me one reason.”
“Because I don’t want you to.”
“That’s not good enough.”
“Owain, no.” I walked over to him and grabbed his arm. He growled at me like a rabid dog and bared his teeth, but he didn’t shake my off. I pulled at him and he stood and let me lead him a few feet away. The junky started crawling toward the door.
“Why would you want to spare that little shit?” he asked. “He’s a piece of trash. I can’t have people think they can try and steal from me without consequences.”
“Nobody thinks that. He’s noting and you’ll get blood all over the floor. Come on, you don’t have to—”
The junky reached the door. He staggered to his feet, leaned on the handle, and pulled it open. He fell out into the alley, his face slamming against the hard ground. He grunted in pain then crawled forward.
“Fuck this.” Owain marched out, closed the door behind him.
A loud bang rang through the afternoon.
Sander sighed and leaned his shotgun against his shoulder. “At least he did it outside.” He shook his head and walked back into the main room.
Owain came back a minute later. He stared at me as I crossed my arms and glared back.
“What?”
“I asked you not to do that.”
“Too bad. This is my business. I make the decisions.”
I clenched my jaw. “I fought back, you know. Jumped on him. Started hitting him.”
He tilted his head. “How’d that go for you?”
“Not great.”
“Yeah, well, don’t fight next time. Let them go. No need to get yourself hurt over this shit.”
“You don’t seem to get it. This is my money too now, and I’m not letting some idiot rip me off.”
A little smile cracked across his face. “Now you understand why I killed him.”
I didn’t back down. “I need to learn how to use a gun.”
“Really? You need to?”
“I have to defend myself. And our pills.”
“Come on. I can assign a guy to work with you. You don’t need—”
“Teach me to shoot, Owain. These idiots that come in here will never suspect it. They turn their backs on me and pretend like I’m just some stupid girl. If I had a gun, I could’ve ended that whole encounter sooner without anyone getting hurt.”
He laughed then, shaking his head. “You want a gun to avoid people getting hurt.”
“I want a gun to keep my money safe.”
“All right, little diamond.” His smile got bigger. “I’ll take you shooting. But once you got a gun, how do I know you’re not going to turn it on me.”
I smiled back, head tilted. I tugged at a long strand of hair.
“You’ll just have to trust me then, won’t you?”
He sighed and slipped his gun back into his waistband.
“I guess so.” He turned back to the alley door. “I’ll send some guys to clean that up. You sit back and relax for
