My insides froze. It was like I’d swallowed a block of ice.
“Whoa,” Harper said. “Addison, you did not just say that.”
Addison blinked. “What’s wrong? All I said was—”
“Yes, we all heard what you said,” Ms. Farrell cut in. “And I’d like to assume—I’m going to assume—that you didn’t mean how it must have sounded to Norah.” She walked over to her desk, like she was changing the channel. “Okay. Norah was saying before how we root for certain gods and goddesses, not because we think we’re on the same scale as they are, but because we see ourselves in them, or feel connected to them somehow.”
Harrison waved his arm. “Okay, but what if we don’t feel connected to any of them?”
Ms. Farrell peered at him over her Harry Potter glasses. “Oh, I certainly hope that’s not true. Because if it is, you’re going to have trouble with our first big project.”
KRAKEN
When it was lunch, I didn’t look for Harper. If she was sneaking out of the building for a dumb slice of pizza, I didn’t want to know about it. Because it was a stupid thing to do (versus sneaking into eighth grade lunch to meet Griffin, which was something I absolutely had to do). Plus, it meant hanging out not only with Kylie, whose idea of “fun” was getting in trouble over melted cheese, but also with Addison, who’d just called me a show-off in front of the entire class. And based on what? The fact that people wouldn’t stop commenting about my cancer? Like she thought I wanted people to pay attention to that, when the truth was exactly the opposite. The whole thing was insane. She was insane.
I took a seat at the table I’d shared with Griffin. After a couple of minutes, Cait came over.
“Okay if I join you, Norah?” she asked shyly.
“Sure,” I said. I moved my napkin so she’d have room for her sandwich. Not a hamburger, thank goodness.
She sat. “Can I say something? I thought what Addison said in English was really mean. You didn’t deserve it.”
“Thank you.”
“I don’t know why she said that.”
“It’s almost like she’s jealous.”
“You think she’s jealous?”
Yeah, Cait, I just said that. “I don’t know. I really don’t understand. It’s crazy to be jealous of someone for getting sick.”
“Yeah, really crazy,” Cait agreed.
I nodded. We both ate our lunches. Cait wasn’t much of a conversationalist, but she was a nice person, I had to admit.
All of a sudden, she looked up and blurted: “Can I ask you something? You know that eighth grader Rowan, right?”
“Yeah, he’s in my math class. Why?”
“I don’t know. I was just wondering what he’s like.” Now she blushed.
“Why?” I asked. “You like him?”
“No. I don’t know. Maybe.”
Should I tell her what I thought about Rowan? But how could she not see it for herself? The way he was always fussing with his hair—it was kind of obvious, wasn’t it? Maybe you weren’t supposed to tell people that their crush was a conceited jerk, like how you weren’t supposed to tell people they had red lipstick smeared on their teeth. Or maybe this was more of a spinach-in-the-teeth situation, where if you didn’t say something, you were the jerk.
Just then Malik came over to us. He looked upset. “You guys seen anyone messing with my posters?”
“What posters?” I asked him, glad not to be talking about Rowan.
“I keep putting up posters for the election, and they keep getting taken down.”
“Why would anyone do that?” Cait said.
“Good question.” Malik shook his head in disbelief. “No one’s even running against me.”
“So why are you putting up posters, then?” I asked.
“Just so people know there’s an election and vote. Last year like twenty kids voted. In total. Sometimes I wonder why I’m bothering,” he grumbled as he walked off.
A minute later Harper showed up. She took the seat next to me without saying a word. I didn’t want to advertise her stupid pizza outing to Cait, so I just asked Harper if she’d “accomplished her mission.”
“I didn’t go,” Harper admitted.
“You didn’t?” I could barely contain my excitement.
“Yeah,” Harper said. “I stood in front of the girls’ room waiting for Kylie. Addison never even showed up, but guess who did. Silas. I swear, he’s so in love with Kylie he’d follow her anywhere. And I refuse to hang out with that traitor. So.” She shrugged.
“How is Silas a traitor?” Cait asked.
“To Norah,” Harper said. “For never visiting her at the hospital.”
Cait’s face crumpled. “Oh. But I didn’t either.”
“Well, but you apologized, at least,” I said quickly. “And explained about it, which Silas never did. And anyway, Silas was always one of my best friends. But since I’ve been back, he barely even talks to me.”
“That’s so weird,” Cait said. “Do you know why?”
I shook my head.
“Traitor,” Harper pronounced.
I turned to her. “Okay, but you’re friends with someone who insulted me in English class.”
“You mean Addison?”
“Who else?”
“Actually, Norah, I told her off right after English. I said if she said anything like that again, I’d never speak to her. Again. Ever.”
“You did? Well, thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
The bell rang.
“Oh crap, I didn’t get any lunch,” Harper said. “Norah, I’m taking your apple, okay?” Before I could say yes, she grabbed it and started chomping.
* * *
At dismissal, I told Harper I’d meet her in the art studio for Art Club, but I had “something to do” first. She didn’t ask what it was. But I took a deep breath and words tumbled out: “I need to meet that boy I told you about, Griffin. And I think I may like him, but there’s nothing going on between us, just this little art project. And I’ll be right back.”
“Okay,” Harper said, smiling a little.
I ran down the stairs to the band room. Cait was sitting on the floor outside the open door, singing along as Rowan played Nirvana. The funny thing was, her voice was louder and stronger than it ever was when she was talking. As
