It was nice to know that Jake could see the burden she'd been carrying, and she was a little touched by his description of her.
"Kelly knew you wouldn't turn your back on Brett," Jake added.
"But she was still afraid to ask or to explain. She should have done both."
"I don't disagree. But it is what it is. And no matter what you think about Kelly, you're already in love with Brett."
She smiled at his words. "I am. He's adorable."
Jake gave her a soft smile. "He is."
Under the warmth of his smile, she felt her anger toward him weaken, which scared her. Anger was what kept the wall up between them. But did she really need that wall? It wasn't like anything would happen between them ever again.
"What are you thinking?" he asked, giving her a speculative look.
"That I'm tired."
"You should go to bed."
"Not that kind of tired."
"Then what kind of tired are we talking about?"
"I'm tired of being angry at you," she confessed. The words had no sooner left her mouth than she wanted them back, but it was too late.
Relief filled his gaze. "Well, it's about damn time."
"I'm not saying I forgive you," she added quickly. "I just don't want to work so hard to avoid you. It's exhausting."
"Then stop, Hannah. What do you think will happen if you don't run out of every room I walk into?"
"I don’t know, Jake. That's why I run. I don't like unpredictable situations. And you—you are the most unpredictable person I've ever known. You were my best friend. You were my first love, the first guy I had sex with, and three days later, you stood me up for the prom, cheated on me in a very public way, and humiliated me in front of the whole school."
With every word, the frown on his face deepened, as well as the regret in his eyes.
"I know I hurt you, Hannah. I was a seventeen-year-old kid, and I made a huge mistake. I've wished a million times that I could turn back time and do that night over again. But I can't."
"No, you can't," she agreed. "I thought we had something really special, but I was stupid."
"You weren't stupid. It was special until I messed it up. But I'm not that kid anymore, Hannah. You have to let me grow up. You have to see me for who I am now."
"Why? Why do I have to do anything?" she challenged. "Why can't we just not speak, not see each other, not relive some of the worst memories of my life?"
"Because we live in a small town. We hang out with the same people. And because we used to be friends, best friends. Don't you ever miss that?" he asked. "Because I do. I miss talking to you. I miss seeing your smile. I miss your wry humor and how funny and sarcastic you can be. But mostly I just miss being part of your life."
She felt the ice around her heart melt with his words. She did miss him, but she couldn’t admit that. That would take this conversation in the wrong direction.
"You asked every single one of our friends to donate money for your booth for the winter carnival, but you didn't ask me," he added.
"I can't believe you're annoyed because I didn't ask you for money."
"Well, I can't believe you're annoyed every time I breathe, so there we are," he retorted.
"We shouldn't have started talking about the past," she said. "There's no point."
"Maybe there is a point."
"What could that possibly be?"
"You need to get your head out of the past, and I know how to make that happen."
"You don't—" she began, only to have her words cut short with a shocking kiss.
She didn't know what to do, how to react. Her brain was telling her to push him away, but as his arms came around her, as his mouth moved against hers, she couldn't think anymore; she could only feel. This was Jake. And the taste of his mouth took her back in time.
She suddenly remembered everything: the heated demand of his lips, the feeling of being swept off her feet and enveloped in a storm of desire and passion.
But this kiss was also different. Jake was a man now, and she was a woman who knew what she liked, what she wanted. Their tangled dance of tongues became a new adventure, a delicious melding of the past with the present. And she wanted more. She wanted to pull off his sweater and push down his jeans. She wanted to see him, touch him and taste him.
Her pulse pounded with the depth of her need. It was terrifying. This was why she'd avoided him for so long, because deep down she'd known the fire simmering between them could quickly get out of control. She had to stop. She had to push him away.
Finally, she found the strength to break the kiss, to slide down the couch, to put some much-needed space between them.
But it was still too hot. Her face was burning. And Jake's dark eyes were filled with a tempting promise of all the things she secretly wanted. "Why did you kiss me?"
"I wanted to get you out of the past," he said. "And you kissed me back."
"Only because you surprised me."
"That surprise lasted for several minutes."
"Well…" She found herself without any words.
"Well," he echoed. "It's not often you can't think of something to say."
"I'm going to bed." She got up and moved around the couch, then turned back to face him. "Don't do that again, Jake."
"I won't. Unless you ask me to."
Her stomach flipped over at that comment. "That will not happen."
"We'll see."
"You know one thing that hasn't changed, Jake? You're still cocky."
"And you still like it."
She really wished she could have had the last word, but escape was a bigger priority. She walked into the bedroom and closed the door, her heart still beating out of her chest.
He
