"How about Grandma?" She looked at Brett. "What do you think about that?"
"I never had a grandma before. My friend Albie has two."
She couldn't help wondering about his father's parents, but, apparently, they didn't exist—at least, not in Brett's world.
"Are you going to bake cookies with us, Grandma?" Brett asked.
Her mother sucked in a quick breath at the title Brett had so quickly accepted. "I am," she said.
"We're going to make sugar cookies," she told Brett.
"I was thinking about that," her mom said. "Why don't we be a bit more creative? Remember when we used to make sweater weather sugar cookies?"
Her mom's words took her way back in time. "Yes. The cookies all looked like Christmas sweaters."
"I want to make sweater cookies," Brett announced.
"We could also do white chocolate cherry shortbread cookies," her mother added. "Those were your favorites."
"I don't think I have the sweater mold or the ingredients for the other ones."
"We could do peanut butter, too," her mom said. She was either completely caught up in the cookies or trying to avoid thinking about the little boy who was calling her grandmother.
Hannah suspected it was partly the latter.
"I love peanut butter," Brett said, getting more excited by the minute.
"And bittersweet chocolate crackle cookies," her mom continued. "Those were Kelly's favorites."
"Kelly is my mom," Brett said.
Her mother looked pained at that reminder. "I know." Her gaze moved to Hannah's. "He looks like Tyler more than Kelly, but she's there in his eyes. I don't know if I can do this, Hannah."
"Of course you can. Because all we're going to do is make cookies. However, I think one of us needs to go to the store."
"I can do that."
"Okay. But, Mom, you need to come back." She was slightly terrified that her mom would go to the store, walk down the liquor aisle, and use alcohol to stop thinking about Kelly and Brett. "I can't make all those cookies without you. And Brett wants to do them with you, too."
Her mother slowly nodded. "I'll come back, Hannah."
She wanted to make her mother promise to return, but what was the point? There were too many broken promises between them already.
As her mother left the kitchen, she set Brett on his feet. "How about a snack while we wait for Grandma to come back?"
"Can I have a banana?"
"Absolutely." As she walked over to the kitchen island that was already littered with ingredients, she really hoped the baking bonanza would work out, for a lot of different reasons. Not only would she have the cookies she needed for the party, but her mom would get a chance to bond with Brett. Plus, it would be the first time she and her mom would attempt to recreate one of their favorite shared experiences. While she had always been impatient with the cooking portion of baking, she had loved hanging out with her mom while she baked. It would be fun to do it again, but she had a feeling that it wouldn't just be the chocolate that was bittersweet.
An hour later, Hannah's kitchen looked like a bakery with flour, sugar, vanilla, and eggs cluttering up her counter. The heat from the first batch of cookies made the room not only warm and cozy but also filled with the scent of chocolate and cinnamon. Hannah felt a wave of nostalgia. Watching her mom patiently help Brett cut out sweater cookies, she saw herself in the same scene a very long time ago. She could also see a young Kelly pouring sugar into a bowl and Tyler toddling around in a diaper with chocolate smeared across his mouth.
Her heart ached as the image now included her dad coming in to steal a spoonful of raw cookie dough. Like her, he'd been too impatient for the cookies to bake. Her mom would tell him it wasn't good for him. But he never listened, and their playful argument often ended with a kiss.
She didn't know much about their relationship beyond what she'd witnessed, but she'd always thought it was strong. Her dad had been the solid anchor to her mom's neurotic and impulsive tendencies. They'd balanced each other out. And in the years when they were a whole family, there had been a lot of fun, a lot of good times.
More stress had entered the family when Kelly had gotten into her middle teens. She had inherited more of her mom's reckless impulsiveness than her dad's steady, plodding personality. But even with the fighting between Kelly and their parents, there was always a strong undercurrent of love. Her dad had had a patience with Kelly that made the two of them very close but had put a distance between Kelly and her mom. And then he'd died, and the family had shattered.
Watching her mom with her grandson now made her feel like some of the old family love was coming back. Or maybe it would be a new love, a new start.
They could never be what they were, but scenes like this gave her hope for the future. She just wished Tyler and Kelly were here, too. Tyler would be home Tuesday. But Kelly…
Would she ever come back? Or would she keep running for her life?
She wished Kelly would reach out. Then she could find a way to help her. Although, if Kelly had killed a man, regardless of her motivation, helping her might not be possible. But she could still help Brett. She could still try to make this Christmas special for him.
"When is Tyler getting in?" her mom asked, interrupting her thoughts.
"Tuesday morning." She paused, suddenly realizing that the guestroom she had reserved for her brother was now being used by Brett. "I'll have to put a blow-up bed in my office."
"That should work."
"I think we should make a big deal out of Christmas morning," she added. "We need to make it special."
Her mom met her gaze. "That makes sense."
"But I'm going
