"I don't want to risk pushing you too hard too fast."
"Risk what?"
"Us."
She drew in a breath at the one simple and yet so complicated word. "There's no us."
"There wasn't for a long time, but that could change. I want it to change."
She ran a hand through her hair, conflict running through her mind. "I don't know what to do. Three days ago, I couldn't stand you. Now I want to make out with you."
A grin curved his sexy mouth. "Then let's stop talking and do that."
"It's not smart."
"Blame it on the mistletoe." He put his hand behind her neck and gently pulled her forward.
"There's no mistletoe."
"In my mind, it's right over our heads. There's nothing to do but kiss…" He leaned in, and her stomach clenched with desire.
It seemed to take forever for his mouth to find hers, but then it was an instant explosion of heat. Jake had always been a good kisser. Even when they were young and fumbling through their first sexual experience, the way he kissed had set her body on fire. It was no different now. Actually, it was different; it was better.
Jake's kiss went from exploring and sensual to hard and demanding, and she liked feeling his impatient need for her. She opened her mouth, taking him in, their tongues tangling in a desperate need to get closer.
She ran her hands up under his sweater, loving the feel of those hard muscles against her fingers. She wanted to see him. She wanted to touch and taste him in every possible way. She wanted to go back to where they'd once been. She wanted to feel that impossibly close connection.
But all those needs made her feel like she was on a runaway train, with an inevitable crash coming up around the next bend.
A voice inside her head screamed caution. This was Jake, a man who could turn her on like no other. But this was also Jake, the man who had shattered her heart.
How could she trust him not to do it again?
She finally found the strength to push him away, to slide down the couch and put space between them, to catch her breath and try to think. But it wasn't easy with the blood rushing through her veins and an aching desire in her body.
Jake gazed back at her with glittering lights of gold in his brown eyes, his breath coming hard and fast. But he didn't say anything, and she couldn't find any words.
The silence stretched out between them like a taut wire. She had to break it. "You should go home, Jake."
"I pushed too hard."
"No, you didn't." She couldn't put it on him. He had a lot of blame to carry in their story, but this time was on her. "I wanted you to kiss me. I still do."
"Then why did we stop?"
"Because it's too fast. I still want you, but I don't know what comes after the wanting, and that scares me."
"Then we'll slow it down."
"I don't know what it is, Jake. I don't know what you want from me, and more importantly, I don't know what I want from you."
"I can answer the first question. I want you back," he said bluntly.
Her heart skipped a beat. "We had our chance. You could have had me before, and you walked away."
"I was seventeen. I wish you could trust me again."
"I wish I could, too, but I don't know how to get there. It would probably take a miracle."
"Well, it is the season for miracles." He got to his feet. "I'll go, Hannah, but I'm not giving up."
"You should. I'm not big on second chances. My mother could tell you that."
"She already did. But some people, some relationships, are worth fighting for."
She stood up. "I'm not convinced of that. I think some relationships have their season, and that's it. They expire. They're done. You can't recreate them."
"Well, I disagree, and I like challenges."
"Is that what this is about? A challenge to get me back just to prove you can?"
"No. It's about you and me, how good we once were, and how good we could be again. I don't just want to have sex with you, Hannah, although I do want that."
Her cheeks filled with heat at his direct statement.
"But I want a lot more," he said. "I want the girl who laughed with me, who challenged me to read books and look at the world in a different way. I want the girl I could talk to all night long, the one I could say anything to, and she could say anything to me. I want the connection we had. The one where everything felt exactly right. I've never felt that with anyone else."
Her body sang at words that were both beautiful and terrifying. She'd never felt that with anyone else, either.
"I want your heart," he said.
"You already broke it," she whispered.
"Give me a chance to put it back together. Just a chance, Hannah. Let's start with that."
She honestly didn't know what to say.
"Just think about it," he said, and then he left.
As she heard the front door close, she let out a breath, feeling a wild range of emotions.
Was he worth a second chance? Did she have enough courage to give him one?
Chapter Seventeen
Hannah woke up Monday morning feeling like she'd been through a mental and emotional war. She'd slept very little, reliving every moment with Jake, every word that they'd spoken. It had pissed her off that she was losing sleep to him for the second time in her life. But as much as she wanted to hang on to that anger, she couldn't do it anymore. She'd gotten to know Jake again, and she liked him even more than she had the first time. She still didn't know if she could give him another chance, but she would have to see how things played out. While she wasn't ready to say yes, she also wasn't ready to say no.
After getting
