I can’t help thinking of the way he bandaged my wounds so gently. Of the way he kissed me. I want to gag.
What has he said to her?
What has he done?
“Do you love her?” Mother whispers, plunging the both of us into a tense wariness. “I see you looking at my sweet Andraste sometimes, when you think I am not aware. I see the way your eyes hunger for her. Do you love her, Edain? Do you love my daughter?”
There’s a long moment of silence, so long I almost think he’s not going to answer her.
“Yes,” he finally says.
Shock blooms through me. I can’t move. I barely dare look at him.
Would you still hate me if I loved you?
My heart lodges in my throat. And when he looks at me, I see the truth written there.
“You didn’t know.” She sounds pleased at my horror as she captures his face and digs her nails into his cheeks. “You didn’t know, because you despise him, don’t you? Kiss me,” she says. “Kiss me as if I am your everything.”
He leans down, his eyelids growing sleepy as she captures his face and kisses him.
And I can’t look at them anymore.
“You see,” Mother whispers, finally letting him go. “You’re the only one I can trust, because I made you that way. Now tell me the truth. Who stole my crown, Edain?”
“Your daughter.”
“Which daughter?”
I can’t breathe. He stands so still, a violent trembling breaking through his shoulders as if he’s trying to fight the hex she’s wrought around him.
“Which daughter?” Her voice becomes low and dangerous. “Do you think I will not break you? Do you think I will not make you crawl for me? Make you beg?” She pushes to her feet as he goes to one knee, clutching at his throat. “Do you dare love her more than you love me?”
Every inch of his face goes red.
“Stop it.” I can’t watch this. “He doesn’t love me. It’s always been a game to him. We’ve never—”
“He loves me,” she hisses. “He loves me more. And he will tell me the truth or I will rip it from his tongue.”
There’s a gagging lump in my throat. I’ve spent so many years hating him, so many years feeling numb to her cruelties, but there’s something about this moment that itches beneath my skin.
He knows the risks.
He knows she’ll kill him if necessary, but he’s holding his tongue for me.
Nobody has ever tried to protect me.
And then he breaks, a scream tearing from his throat, his fingers clenching into his palms—
“Stop it!” I rise, casting the goblet aside with a splash. “Stop it. He’s done nothing wrong.”
“He will tell me the truth,” Adaia says coldly, curling her fingers into claws. “I am his queen, and he will answer me or he will die.”
Edain hits the carpet, clutching at his throat and thrashing. His wild eyes find me, and there’s a look there that slays me to the core—
“I took it!” I yell. “I took your fucking crown!”
The words ring in the sudden silence.
But Edain rolls to his hands and knees, gasping for breath as if whatever held him immobile has now released.
I don’t regret a thing. I never did and I never will. And I can’t believe that I said the words, because she will kill me.
But maybe there is some sense of freedom. I don’t have to pretend anymore. I don’t have to lie. I don’t have to swallow my own poison.
I am free.
“Why?” she whispers, but there’s no shock in her voice. She knew.
And then she turns to me, and I know she’s not asking why I took the crown.
“I gave you everything,” she whispers, drawing herself up as I back away. “I nurtured you, raised you above your sister, let you at my breast like an asp….”
“You took her from me.” The truth spills from my lips in a whisper. “You poisoned us against each other. You tore us apart.”
“I gave you a choice. Only one of you could be my heir—”
“We were children! I loved my sister!”
“She was a lying, treacherous child who betrayed us all—"
“You forced her into the Prince of Evernight’s arms!” I yell. “And you cannot even see the role you played in all of this! Vi ran away because of you!” A helpless laugh breaks through me. “And she’s happy, Mother. She’s finally escaped your poison, and perhaps she is all the better for it.” I push closer. “You want to know why I took your crown? For love, Mother. Because no matter how hard you have tried, you have never quite been able to destroy that which beats in my heart. I love my sister. I would do anything for my sister. And I hope she is happy and free and that she will never see you again—”
The slap almost drives me off my feet. I stagger into the table and knock the entire platter of strawberries to the floor. The clang of it ringing on the marble tiles is enough to set my teeth on edge, but I force myself to straighten. Force myself to tilt my chin and stare her in the eye.
“Kill me and you lose your court,” I tell her. “They will see your lack of power as if it is a mortal weakness. You can’t even control your own family. Your daughters hate you.” The urge to laugh is almost destructive. “But the court loves me. I’ve spent years cultivating my alliances, as you taught me. The people cheer when I ride through the streets and curse you when you do. The only reason you have been able to hold on to your crown in the past ten years is because I have been there to sway their opinion. I have begged your people to listen to their queen, and I
