a bench and I sit down on it, letting the water rain down on me in a gentle torrent.

This is the life.

I’m as content as I can be without adding a second person to this shower.

Soaping my hand up with the lavender scented soap, I run my hands over my body and lean back. My libido is out of control today. Normally it’s not this... aggressive. But ever since that little bike ride, my pussy has been ready to go at a moment's notice. Strangely, she doesn’t seem to care who takes care of the need, based on the men I have interacted with today. Darren? Yes, Silver Daddy, yes. Bryan? Come at me bro. Big Bastard In Charge Earl? Slap my ass and bite me back. The Australian mechanic? Talk dirty to me until my eyes roll back.

The only one my pussy is uninterested in is Chuck. He feels like a kid brother. No matter. That leaves four fine specimens available for the job.

When I left Adam standing on our porch, I was determined to swear off men forever. Not anymore! If the door had a lock, I would have considered relieving some of the pressure, but I really don’t want to have someone walk in on me like that. That doesn’t seem wise.

I am just about to step out when a weird snuffling noise sounds from around the corner.

“Occupied!” I call out peevishly.

The snuffling continues so I turn the water off and wrap a bath sheet around me and step out. It’s one thing if I fantasize about them joining me, it’s a whole other thing if they just show up uninvited. They’re too old for frat boy games.

“Listen, buddy. Perving on a woman in the shower is not ok!” I start, rounding the corner armed with enough Righteous Anger to burn a demon.

I don’t get to continue what I was going to say.

I can’t stop the bloodcurdling scream that escapes me. There’s a giant... thing... in the bathroom. And it’s staring directly at me. Well, actually, it looks like he is looking me up and down. He might be perving me. Which is impossible. Obviously.

Sea lion. That thing is a sea lion.

I try not to panic and remember the wildlife rules from my decades’ old Girl Scout training. I don’t think we had a sea lion safety badge. I try raising my hands up and waving them around, stomping my foot at him, but he just looked at my boobs. Maybe that method was for bears.

The sea lion lets out a short huff and a bark. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he was telling me to chill out. But that would be stupid. And impossible.

I can’t remember if I’m supposed to make eye contact or not. I glare at him menacingly but he just flaps his flippers and barks again. Asshole. He doesn’t seem particularly upset to see me, if anything, he really does seem to be perving on me. He didn’t startle at my scream, so he is definitely used to humans.

Thankfully, he doesn’t appear to be interested in anything more aggressive than watching me.  I start to back away. Mr. Sea Lion wants the bathroom? Fine. He can have it. It can be his. He can live here for all I care, the weird voyeuristic creature.

I’ve seen sea lions when I’ve visited the coast...loads of times. I live in California. They’re everywhere. I’ve seen them on docks. I’ve seen them on rocks. I’ve even seen one lounging on a boat once. I’ve never seen one in a bathroom. Up close and personal, they are bigger than they look. This one has a handsome dark brown pelt with silver streaks.

“Oh! Are you their pet?” I ask, suddenly, remembering that the Motorcycle Club that was holding me hostage is named after the very animal that sits smugly in front of me. Sea Lions.

The sea lion looks unimpressed and huffs again. He seems offended. Or amused. Maybe angry? I don’t actually know. I never went to sea lion behavior school.

I don’t get any more chances to interrogate the marine mammal that interrupted my shower because a whole horde of men suddenly burst through the door. None of them look surprised to see the sea lion, but all of them seem to be scanning the bathroom for other threats.

“Are you ok? What happened?” Chuck comes over to me first, visually scanning me in a far less pervy way than the sea lion did.

“Clear! I don’t see anything!” Trevor calls out, checking the area below the windows and turning towards me.

“Ronnie, did you see something? Walk us through it, honey.” Bryan looks anxious.

I am staring in disbelief at the sea lion who, if anything, just looks very self-satisfied. Freaking sea lion. Why is it so smug? Two can play this game.

“So, the seal in the middle of the bathroom is not an issue for you guys?” I ask flippantly, glaring at each of them in turn before turning back to the sea lion.

I don’t know why I am acting like this. It’s not like the fucking thing can understand me. I think he understood the word seal though, because he narrows his eyes at me and barks. Rude.

Everyone stares at me like I’m an idiot. I stare back because obviously I can’t be expected to accept that a marine mammal in the bathroom is at all normal. It’s not.

“Sweetheart, that’s not a seal. That’s a California Sea Lion,” Trevor says. He looks like he’s trying to hide a smirk.

“And it’s in the bathroom, why?” I shoot back, glaring at the Australian and jabbing a finger into his chest. We both swear under our breath when the now-familiar shock runs through us.

All three of them exchange a long and meaningful look. Chuck finally breaks and walks over to the sea lion and pats him on the shoulder before leaning down to whisper to him. The sea lion barks once and follows Chuck out the door, leaving me open-mouthed in

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