Theo: Thanks again for keeping me company. Maybe you should think about becoming a tour guide in your next life…haha! Have a good night and cheerio!
I was grinning from ear to ear. Maybe he and Kate were an ocean away, but luckily they would always be just a phone call or a text away too.
CHAPTER 12
THE MONTHS PASSED and Mother Nature was awakening from her slumber. The barren trees were starting to bud, the tulips and daffodils painted my backyard in pallets of red and yellow, but I still felt stuck. Stuck in a job I didn’t want to be in. Stuck in a house that no longer felt like a home, and stuck in a life I didn’t want to live.
I had been in touch with two of the contacts I had met at the cocktail party several months back and had been doing some consulting for each of them. I knew they had more than enough work to keep me employed full-time if I wanted to quit my job, but I was scared to take that next step. I wasn’t sure why. Each day I stepped into that office, I was more and more inclined to do so.
Jonathan was there more frequently than usual as his company was gearing up for a big campaign, which was making it more awkward. I had led the team on all of his past projects. This time I wasn’t even asked to join in. I knew this wasn’t just a coincidence, and I wasn’t upset about it. In fact, I was thankful. I had heard through the office grapevine that he was seeing one of the new receptionists. Again, another reason to breathe a sigh of relief, but I’d still see the way he’d look at me when we’d have our brief encounters, and I hated it. It made me feel dirty, and I rehashed everything inside of me that I was trying to let go of.
I had learned through Theo that Kate had begun treatments after meeting with a doctor who was a little more optimistic about the outcome. Theo had gotten her someone to help her out around the house and take care of Thomas when he had to be away on business, much to Kate’s displeasure over it. She was still insisting that she could do it all herself. I could only imagine the weight Theo had on his shoulders, working a very demanding job while worrying about his sister’s and nephew’s well-being. Theo was all Kate had to fall back on, and I’m sure that stressed him out immensely, but he never let it show.
Kate still hadn’t revealed anything to me, and I didn’t question why she was opting to just audio call instead of video chat. Theo had told me she had begun to lose her hair due to the chemo. I spoke to her almost every day. Some days she sounded so upbeat, and others I could hear the fatigue and sadness in her voice. We were growing closer and closer, and because of that, I couldn’t help but feel somewhat let down that she didn’t feel comfortable confiding in me even a little. But I couldn’t imagine the gamut of emotions she was going through. Anger, fear, sadness, I’m sure were just a few.
I made up for the lack of support I was able to give to Kate by giving it to Theo instead. Over the past few months, I rode the highs and lows with him. His happiness at the prospect of the treatments working. His sadness from seeing the effects those treatments were having on his sister, and his fear of the unknown. It was hard for me to believe I could become so close to two people I hadn’t known for that long and who lived thousands of miles away, but I couldn’t explain the connection I had felt to each of them. Kate was like a long-lost friend; one I had been searching for my entire life.
Theo, I wasn’t quite sure what it was about him that had me so enamored. I just knew he was the first guy since Evan I felt comfortable opening up to. He didn’t judge me. He didn’t lecture me. He just listened. He’d offered advice when I asked for it and was quiet and thoughtful when I didn’t. It was weird for me to have this type of closeness in the emotional sense with a man and not the physical sense. I reminded myself of how I had once thought I had that with Jonathan and failed miserably, but there was no comparison between the two.
Theo was so down to earth. He was kind and caring, embracing his flaws, never thinking he was better than anyone else. In hindsight I could now see how Jonathan was so different. Arrogant and boastful like a tiger waiting to pounce on its prey when it was at its weakest. How could I have been so naïve not to see that he had only been disguising himself as a friend? How could I have been so enticed to have fallen right into his trap?
I had just gotten off the phone with Kate, who sounded a little more upbeat than she had in the last few days, when a video chat began to ring on my iPad. Theo’s name coming across the screen always managed to put a smile on my face no matter what kind of mood I was in. I moved the mountain of paperwork and bills I was planning on tackling and placed the tablet front and center.
It was funny how I didn’t care about my appearance anymore when I’d open up my screen to Theo. Over the months he had seen me in an array of states: a full face of makeup before heading out with the girls from work, a towel turbaned on my head and just another one covering my body when he had
