Closing my laptop, after hitting send, I breathe a sigh of relief. Taking the last drink of my potion infused coffee.
“All done?” Ronnie asks.
“Yes, the last assignment, successfully finishing my first semester of college,” feeling happier than I ever have. Completing school work always makes me feel accomplished like I have achieved a life goal but this semester has been a challenge with all the non-schoolwork related bullshit.
“What are your plans for Christmas break?”
“Same as Thanksgiving. I’m going to hang out here in the dorm. I think I may apply for a job at The Brew Station, now that I have a break from classes. I could use the money.”
“You’re not going home?” she asks, knowing that I have already told her but still hopeful that my answer has changed.
“Why would I? After calling Dad, repeatedly, he finally sent me an email saying he was going to work through Christmas in his lab and he wouldn’t even be home. If I’m going to be alone, I would rather do it here.”
Ever since mom left my dad sunk himself into his work. He’s a biological physicist working on a cure for cancer. My mom was the only person who could get him to come out of the lab.
We would travel each day, for as long as I can remember, to his lab and she would get him to laugh at her jokes, eat some treat she brought him while he held me on his lap or when I got too big he would show me his work, then she would get him to dance and we would dance our way out to the car, laughing the whole way. Without her lighting his way, he can’t seem to find his way out of the lab anymore. I tried for a while to go and coax him home but I resemble her too much, I think I brought him more sadness.
“What about your mom?”
“Christmas is depressing enough without trying to connect with Mom again and, before you ask, Kohl will be gone with the team or home with his parents. I’ll be fine here, Ron. Just go home, enjoy the holiday.”
I had tried many times after mom’s accident to reconnect with her. I took pictures to show her and told her stories, anything to try to make her remember. I spent every second with her that I could until eventually she tired of me, which moms never do and ask me to leave her alone. I was a stranger to her. A stranger that kept trying to get her to remember a life she had no recollection of. I still tried at holidays but this year I don’t have it in me to try anymore, my heart can’t take another rejection.
“I feel bad leaving you here by yourself. Don’t you usually go to Wren’s?”
“Wren has been acting weird lately. He’s always staring at me and lurking. We used to spend Christmas Eve curled up on his couch with popcorn and movies but since we had sex he acts differently. Almost possessive, sometimes. Plus, his parents are probably back home with his brothers and there’s no way I’m going to be alone with him all through break.”
“Are you sure? I know you already said no but you can still come home with me.”
“Bring me back some of your mom’s amazing banana pudding and I’ll be good. Plus, I’ll see you on New Year’s Eve.”
Grabbing her suitcase, she gives me a long hug, “You’re withering away on me, Ten. How much weight have you lost now?”
“Just under thirty pounds, but I swear it’s all boob. I’ve gone down two cup sizes.”
Pulling back from the hug, she smiles, “I’m very proud of you. You’ve been working out almost every day, watching what you eat and you have some killer curves. We need to go shopping soon. If you change your mind about Christmas, text me. I’ll come back and get you,” she says heading out the door.
Grabbing my jacket, I enjoy the brisk walk across campus to go fill out an application for a job at the coffee shop. I waited to get one semester done to see that I could handle the homework but I need money; I’m tired of Ronnie having to pay for everything. Between working out, classes, studying and helping Kohl with his classes, I haven’t had much time to do anything else. Now, Kohl is gone to games most of the time, so I need something to do with myself.
The Quad is empty. Only a few students remain on campus. When I have almost reached The Brew Station, I run into Wren.
“Hey, Ten. I was just headed to your dorm,” he says with a smile.
“Hi, Wren.”
“Are you all packed and ready to go?”
“Go where?” I ask, playing dumb.
“To my house for the break. We always spend Christmas together.”
“I can’t this time, Wren. I need to get a job; I’m actually about to apply for a position here at the coffee house.”
“But we have spent break together since we were kids, Tensanne,” he says calmly but the tips of his ears turn red signally he’s getting angry. I’ve known him long enough to read all his signs and right now he’s frustrated with me.
“We’re not kids anymore,” I sigh. “Plus, Dad’s too caught up in Mom’s medical bills and he’s not sending me any money. I don’t have a choice; I need a job.”
“The coffee house is closed Christmas Day, I can come back and get you on Christmas Eve,” he cheers, hopeful.
“No, I’m going to stay here on campus this year. It’s only another day, I’m going to spend it going over what I will need for this semester’s classes. You know how I get on my quest for syllabi.”
His smile
