Under all the happiness is a niggling, a small echo of feeling. The feeling of dread. A looming shadow that I can’t figure out. It’s small but I feel it and I fear it even though I don’t know what it is.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chocolate in both hands is my idea of a balanced diet.
—Tensanne to Kohl
Tensanne
One-Week Later
“HOW EXCITED ARE you?” Ronnie asks plopping on the bed next to me. “You turn eighteen in a few days. You have a great new wardrobe, you have a man that loves you, you are rocking your grades and you have a job you love. Plus, you always have that goofy satisfied grin on your face from having sex on a regular basis.”
“I think I’m happy for the first time in a long time,” I say nudging her shoulder with mine. “Things aren’t perfect but it’s as close to perfect as we can get,” I say unsure.
“Why am I not convinced by that? Is something wrong?” she asks detecting a sadness in my voice.
“I don’t know. On the surface, everything is amazing but I just have this feeling that Kohl is keeping something from me. He seems distracted sometimes and I have this fear that keeps getting bigger and bigger that something is wrong.”
“Nonsense, it’s just your insecurities coming out.”
“I don’t think it is. I mean I know I’m not the hottest thing on the planet but I’m smart, I’m kind of pretty and I’m a good person. He loves me, I know it but there’s something and it’s something big.”
“Well, you have a big party to go to this weekend. It’s Valentine’s Day and soon the semester will be done, basketball season will be over and you’ll see that it was all in your head,” she says hugging me.
“I hope you’re right.”
“If you doubt him, use the truth potion on him. We haven’t used it yet,” she says moving to the desk and grabbing the small bottle.
“We don’t even know if it works. Hell, it could give him some kind of rancid sickness that keeps him from finishing the season. I can’t risk it.”
“You’re still using the love potion aren’t you? It worked. It gave you Kohl.”
“I have a few doses left, I’ll run out on my birthday. I’m not positive the potion brought me, Kohl. I’m not even sure that was the intention of it.”
“Well, go back to the shop. Find Esmeralda and ask her. She said you would know when the time was right to come back. Maybe now is the time.”
“Maybe I will.”
“Don’t you have to be at work in an hour?”
“Oh, shit. Yes, I do,” I nod getting up and heading to the shower.
Showered and ready, I walk across campus to The Coffee Shack.
The afternoon rush is already starting. Archer and Leah are buzzing like bee’s behind the counter. Grabbing my apron, I take my place at the register to take orders, giving a wave to my co-workers.
Fifteen customers later, Wren stands in front of me.
We have only spoken to each other a few times since our blow-up during break. I’ve tried to smooth things over but he’s so obstinate when he’s angry. With the change in classes, we don’t have our study group together anymore and between work, classes, and Kohl I haven’t made any time for him. I want to kick my own ass for being a bad friend.
“Hey, Ten,” he calls playing nervously with the cup sleeves on the counter.
I’ve missed Wren. We were best friends before things got awkward and angry. “Hi Wren, what can I get for ya?” I cheer, happy to see him.
“A black coffee, please.”
“Still drinking that bitter ole’ black gunk, huh?” I tease.
“Yeah, you know I can’t stand that sweet crap you drink. It’s not coffee,” he jokes smiling at me.
“Now, we’ve had that debate many times, Wren my boy. It’s coffee, but the way I have it doesn’t taste like shit. So, how have you been? How are your classes?” I quiz him while Archer sets his cup in front of him.
“I’ve been good, busy with homework but my classes are great. I wish we had some together. Mom and Dad miss you, they keep asking when you’re coming over for dinner,” he says stepping to the side so I can wait on the next customer but continue our conversation. “They wanted me to ask if you wanted to come over this weekend for a birthday dinner?”
“I can’t this weekend. Ronnie and Kohl have planned a birthday party for me at the sorority house. You should come, Ronnie could find a pretty sister to set you up with.”
“You’re with Kohl now?” he inquires his lips turning down.
“Uh, yeah. We’ve been dating for a few weeks. But it doesn’t mean we can’t stay friends, Wren. He’s a great guy, you should give him a chance. Come to the party, it’ll be fun,” I encourage.
“I’ll think about it,” he replies, taking his cup, he leaves with his head hung between his shoulders.
Wren and I have been friends since we were in diapers. I’m pretty sure his feelings for me go beyond that of friendship, I know we made some mistakes in keeping that line drawn in the sand and I do love him. But not the way he wants me to. I want him to be happy. I want him to be happy for me. I want my fun loving, chattering friend back.
The next hour is torture with all these thoughts running through my head. I keep trying to figure out a way for Wren to be good with Kohl and for him to be happy.
“You seem distressed and sad. Anything I can help with?” Archer asks, wrapping me in a side hug.
Laying my head on his shoulder a tear slips out running down my cheek. “Sometimes the gray area between friends and more than friends is really
