"I wasn't much better than the monsters I’d been killing. I also thrived on it, for the same reasons they did, for the power. Granted, I didn't destroy families, I didn't take innocent lives, but I was a brutal killer all the same."
Isabelle shuddered; never had she thought this side of Stefan could exist. Never had she dreamed it could be possible. It frightened the hell out of her.
"Two years ago, we ran into a group of human hunters. I killed one of them; Brian killed two. Neither of us had ever killed a person before, and it rattled us both. I vowed I was done, I would never kill anyone, or anything, again. Brian was more determined than ever to destroy everything in his path. He hasn't been killing humans, but he has taken everything to a darker place than ever before. It gives him a purpose.
"I lost everything that day when Brian and I went our separate ways, the idea of killing anything again made me sick. I did the one thing I’d vowed never to do, the one thing that made me exactly like the monsters I’d been killing for centuries, and I hated myself for it.
"I wanted to live in some semblance of peace, but I never found it. Everywhere I went, I was alone. That's when I started settling down with just one girl at a time, for a couple of months at a time. It was at least someone to have around for a little bit, so I wasn't completely alone, but it wasn't enough. I was still alone, no matter what I tried to do. When I came here and met you, I felt alive again for the first time since I was a boy. Felt as if I had found a place where I belonged, and had a purpose other than death."
Isabelle sobbed into his shoulder as she clung to him. She couldn't imagine such loneliness. She ached everywhere for what he’d experienced. She hated herself for what she’d said the other night. There was no way she could take the words back, no way to erase his past, but she vowed his future would be better. She would make sure of it.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I'm sorry for everything. I didn't mean it. I love you, Stefan. I love you more than anything. Please forgive me."
"There's nothing to forgive," he assured her.
"There is!" she sobbed. "What I said to you the other night, the way I reacted was completely unforgivable. I should have listened to you; I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. I should have known."
"Isabelle, you were angry and upset, I understand that."
His forgiveness and caring words didn't help to ease the anguish she felt. They only made her feel worse. She wouldn't have forgiven him so easily if it was the other way around, but he readily did. It made her hate herself even more.
"How can you be so understanding?" she demanded.
"Easily," he said with a laugh. "I know you, Isabelle; you're quick to judge and very quick to lose your temper. But you're also strong, proud, determined, loving, and one of the most loyal women I’ve ever met. I love you for all those reasons, the good, as well as the bad. I wouldn't change a thing."
He wasn't making her feel any better; he was making her feel worse as she wept into his shoulder. "I'm sorry you lost your family," she whispered. "I wish it never happened."
"It was a long time ago. It may have taken me a while to come to terms with it, but I have. It is the past, and the two of us are going to have an incredible future."
"Yes we are," she vowed fervently. "I promise we will."
He laughed as he dropped a kiss on her neck. "Stop crying, Isabelle. I hate it when you cry."
She tried to stifle her sobs, but she couldn't. "Why didn't you tell me?"
He sighed as his hands stopped stroking her back, and he pulled her head out of his shoulder. He turned her toward him as he tenderly wiped the tears from her cheeks. Misery filled her eyes when she hesitantly met his gaze. Her lower lip trembled as she valiantly tried to hold back her sobs.
"When Brian and I first met David, I was surprised by the way he talked about his friends. For the last hundred and fifty years, all I'd had was Brian and all the ugliness that came with him. The air of freshness and innocence David possessed amazed me. When he talked about how none of his friends had ever killed, and how close they all were, I wondered what it was like to be that naive. He knew what our kind was capable of, but he didn't let it corrupt him.
"When I came here, you were so beautifully innocent that the last thing I wanted was for anything dark to touch you. Until the night at the club, you had no idea how cruel and vicious the world could be. I didn't want you tainted by it, and by what I was. I wanted to keep you protected from it, and I mistakenly thought the past was the past. You gave me a reason to live, to feel, and I never wanted to take anything away from you. I wasn't about to let darkness into your world, Isabelle."
Tears slipped free as she stared into his warm eyes. There was so much tenderness, so much love radiating from him that it shook her. She was incredibly grateful fate had thrown them together; that it had given her someone as wonderful as him.
"You told my mom all of this."
He frowned. "I didn't tell your mom any of this. You and Brian are the only two who know."
Isabelle stared at him in confusion. "She said she asked you why you killed our kind
