“It’s not enough. I never expected to have to deal with this—not for another decade, at least.”
She scooted to the edge of the couch, where she studied him as though she wished she could read his mind. “You wouldn’t ever want to see him, would you?”
“Absolutely not,” he said immediately, unequivocally.
“Because it would bring it all back?”
“Because I’d be afraid of what I’d do.”
“He isn’t worth going to prison for yourself, Dallas.”
“Some days, I’m not so sure about that. I feel like I owe it to Jenny.”
“That terrifies me,” she admitted.
He stood. “To be honest, it does me, too.”
21
Thursday, December 17
Over the next few days, Emery put her name into Google’s search engine morning and night to make sure Ethan hadn’t posted anything new and to send takedown notices to any website that still offered a link to the original video. When Ethan first posted it, she’d been absolutely dedicated to getting it removed. Her initial reaction was to do anything she could to get it down as fast as possible, which was why she’d quickly filed a copyright. According to the information she’d found as far as how to combat what’d happened to her—from support groups formed of people who had gone through something similar—that was the first step. But as the scandal grew, and she couldn’t get ahead of it, she began to feel as though her actions were futile. As soon as one website took it down, another put it up.
Then she lost her job, and depression and despair washed over her like a tidal wave. That was when she gave up and did the exact opposite—stayed away from the internet so that she wouldn’t have to be confronted with the reality of what she’d find there. Had she kept her social media pages, she had no doubt she would have found some supportive voices—fans who argued with her detractors that it was her life and her choice whom she slept with, that she and Ethan were dating at the time, that it didn’t hurt others and, therefore, wasn’t anyone else’s business except her own. Those advocates had been there from the start. But from what she’d seen, any attempt to defend her only inflamed her critics. She still couldn’t bear the thought of looking at Instagram, Facebook or Twitter and reading what people were saying about her.
Now that she was working again, however, even though it was only at a cookie store, she was feeling better. And as she regained her equilibrium, she felt fresh determination to fight the people behind the websites that kept the video circulating.
“How many tonight?” Dallas asked.
She set her laptop aside. They were naked in his bed, which was no longer unusual. They made love every opportunity they had. They knew their time together was short. She figured that must be what increased her desire for him, because she couldn’t remember ever wanting anyone else quite so much. Providing she was in a relationship, sex had been a part of her life—since she’d become an adult, anyway—to a greater or lesser degree. And it had always been an enjoyable aspect. But sex with Dallas was somehow different, more fulfilling, more all-consuming.
Was it that there were no expectations or promises between them? It could be that, as much as knowing they didn’t have long to explore their attraction...
She had no idea what made the difference, but this was the first time she’d ever felt as though she couldn’t get enough of someone. She could make love with Dallas and want him again immediately afterward.
“Only two.” It was getting late, but she didn’t have to work until noon the next day, since Susan wanted her to stay until close, so she hadn’t yet crept up to her own room. Wanting to spend as much time with Dallas as possible, she’d lingered afterward to do her computer work while he read various articles on his phone. “But there’s no guarantee they’ll respond favorably,” she added. “I’ve been fighting with the owner of one of the sites I found on Tuesday. The link is still up, even though he told me he’d take it down.”
“Let me write him a message.”
She laughed. “No. That’s okay. I’m not sure threatening him would improve anything. Besides, I don’t want you to get yourself in trouble.”
“So nothing new has gone up? Ethan hasn’t posted anything else?”
“Not yet.” She frowned. “His silence is a little ominous, isn’t it? I haven’t heard from Tommy, either, even though I’ve texted him several times. What a coward. I’m afraid Ethan has convinced him to back away from this.”
“Isn’t it too late? Your lawyer already talked to him, didn’t he?”
“Just once. Over the phone. He’d like to speak to him again, only now Tommy won’t respond.”
“Hopefully he’s just busy. It is the holidays.”
“I doubt that’s it. He doesn’t want to cross Ethan. Tommy feels too much loyalty, even though Ethan would sell him out in a heartbeat if their roles were reversed.”
She closed her laptop. “It’s getting late. I’d better go.” She started to get up, but he caught her wrist.
“Don’t leave.”
When she looked at him in surprise, his lips curved into a devilish grin. “Stay the rest of the night.”
“And risk having your mother catch us in bed? No way.”
“She wouldn’t just walk in—she’d knock. So we’d have some warning.”
“And what would I do if she did come down? Hide under the bed like we’re still in high school? After what I’ve been through, I’m definitely not down for that.”
He scowled at her answer but didn’t argue. “My mother warned me away from you the night she saw us together in the kitchen,” he said, sobering and changing tone.
“I thought she saw us and wondered if she might say something.”
“Not much gets past her.”
“Did it upset her?”
“Upset her? No. Why would it upset
