“But Christmas is only a week away.”
“Meaning...”
“You must be leaving soon.”
“You’ve stopped dancing again, and people are staring at us as it is.”
Once more, he started to sway to the music. “So when are you leaving?”
“I’m thinking Monday.”
“That’s only the day after tomorrow,” he complained. “That leaves us with almost no time.”
“Right. This dance is about all I have left of you, so you’d better shut up and let me enjoy it,” she joked. Then she closed her eyes and rested her cheek against his chest.
It was hard for Dallas not to go after Emery when she left the reception. She reminded him of Aiyana, who always offered her love without expecting anything in return. That was what made it so therapeutic, so potent and liberating.
Was he making a mistake letting her go?
“What’s wrong?”
Hearing his mother’s voice, he turned to find her at his elbow. “Nothing.”
“I saw you dancing with Emery,” she said. “The whole room was abuzz with it.”
“This town loves gossip.”
“Any small town loves gossip. Did she leave?”
“Yeah.”
“Why? Is she okay?”
“Seems to be. She was tired of being on her feet and needed to lie down.”
“I’m surprised she lasted as long as she did, poor girl.”
He scowled at the doorway through which he’d seen Emery go. “She’ll only be in Silver Springs another day.”
“Where’s she going? Back to LA?”
“No. To spend Christmas with her mother and grandmother.”
Aiyana nodded. “That’s good. I bet her mother will be very glad to see her.”
He glanced around to make sure he could speak without being overheard. The room was crowded, but with the music playing and the roar of voices talking over it, he knew he was safe. “She told me she loves me,” he said.
Aiyana, who’d just taken a drink, started to cough.
“Are you okay?”
Her eyes were watering by the time she was able to say, “Sorry, that went down the wrong pipe.”
“I surprised you.”
“That you would tell me surprised me. I already knew she felt something for you. You can see it in her face whenever she looks at you.”
“So what do I do?”
“That depends...”
“On...”
“Whether you love her back.”
“What if I don’t know?” He knew a lot of things—that he enjoyed being with her. That he’d never been so turned on by someone sexually. That she was a wonderful person. But he’d always considered himself incapable of the kind of love a lifelong relationship would require. And she deserved a man who could offer her that.
Besides, he couldn’t settle down without giving up his sponsorship. What woman would be happy to see him head to Europe for half the year or more?
“Then I hope you find out soon, because letting her go could be the biggest mistake of your life,” his mother said.
The conversation ended there. Cal approached and drew Aiyana away, and she was once again caught up in the whirlwind that was her reception. She chatted and laughed with her guests, cut the cake, spoke about her love and gratitude for Cal in a toast—and he did the same for her—and they danced their first dance as a married couple before driving off on their honeymoon later that evening.
But even as Dallas and his brothers got busy cleaning up and piling all the rental stuff in one section so he could return it on Monday, Emery’s hands on his face as she gazed up at him and said, “I’m in love with you” played like a video loop in his mind.
Maybe he was foolish not to jump at the chance to be with a woman like her. She was the girl he’d wanted even back in high school.
But how could he take the risk of loving as deeply as she deserved to be loved?
Maybe he put himself in physical danger—challenged himself to climb steeper and steeper mountains—because he was too much of a coward to walk out on an emotional ledge. After all, he’d experienced the worst kind of fall. There were plenty of days when he felt as though that part of him—the deepest core responsible for trust and bonding—was still splattered on the ground.
25
Dallas couldn’t sleep with Emery right upstairs, knowing she wouldn’t be around much longer. Every minute that ticked away felt like another minute wasted. They should be taking better advantage of the time they had left, shouldn’t they?
He repeatedly checked his phone, hoping she’d text him. He even went up and stood at her door two different times, but he couldn’t bring himself to knock. He didn’t want to bother her if staying away from him was her best way of coping.
“Shit,” he muttered, when he returned, once again, to his own room. He’d just taken off his clothes and was about to put his phone on the charger when he received a text message.
He grabbed his phone. Sure enough, it was Emery.
Would you quit prowling around the house? You’re not making this any easier.
She ended it with a laughing emoji, so he knew she wasn’t seriously put out and was surprised by the relief he felt that he now had the chance to engage her. He’d been losing his mind.
I know I’m the asshole who can’t commit in this situation. But it’s not like I don’t feel anything. We don’t have to make love, but won’t you come down and sleep with me, at least? I just want to feel you next to me.
You know what will happen if I come down.
I can’t say I don’t want that. But even if it happens—would that be so terrible?
When she didn’t respond, he thought the answer was yes—it would be too terrible.
But about fifteen minutes later, when he was lying in bed, wondering what she was thinking or if she’d just drifted off to sleep, he heard his door open and then the soft poof of
