I knew what I was giving up. I knew the moment he agreed. But she will be safe.
Here I am, back in this fucking building with more bad news. At least there’s a silver lining this time.
The smell of hospital disinfectant, of death, of sickness, is overwhelming. But I guess it sets the tone for this place.
The elevator doors open to the long hallway leading to the burn unit. I round the nurses’ station and give them a wave. I recognize some of the nurses working today. They’ve been here a few of the times I’ve come with Fallon. It always helped her to know they love her mother.
I knock on her door before turning the knob. This time I don’t hesitate; I just want this over with. But to my surprise when I walk in, I find my sister sitting cozily in the brown chair next to Fallon’s mother.
“Hey Jesse. This is a nice surprise. Two out of three Callaways in my hospital room at the same time. It’s my lucky day,” she chuckles.
“Hey Darla. Jade, what’s up?” I ask.
Jade turns and looks at me. “Oh, you know. Just trying to save one idiot brother at a time,” she chirps with an attitude. Jade stands up and leans over to kiss Darla on the cheek.
“Good luck. You’re gonna need it with this one,” she murmurs as she jerks her thumb in my direction. She stops in the doorway on her way out to look at me. “Just try to listen to her.”
And with that, Jade leaves us alone in awkward silence.
“She’s worried about you,” Darla says. “And with good reason. You crashed your car?”
“I’m fine. It’s fine. It’ll be up and running in no time,” I tell her, hoping she’ll believe that lie more than I do.
She looks at me, doing that mother’s intuition thing that mothers do. I’ve seen the same look on my own mom’s face when she knew better than to listen to me.
“Come on, have a seat,” she says.
I do what she asks without hesitation. I’m exhausted and sore and sitting sounds pretty good right now.
“Jesse, I need to talk to you about our last conversation. When I asked you to find her at any cost. I shouldn’t have. I was upset because we’ve been dealing with this for so long . . .” Her voice trails off, but she doesn’t need to finish the sentence. The exhaustion and defeat are evident in every new wrinkle she’s gained during this whole situation. “Anyway, it was wrong of me to ask that of you. You’re just a boy. You have a whole life ahead of you. And for me to ask you to put that on hold or even risk it . . . well, that’s not something you put on the shoulders of a child. And before you try to interrupt me and tell me otherwise, yes, you are still a child.”
I open my mouth to argue the point, but she doesn’t allow me to get a word in edgewise. “You can’t do this on your own. And while I don’t understand your relationship with your father, I gathered enough from your sister to know that whatever you’ve concocted with him cannot be good. For you or Fallon.”
I can’t argue with her on that. She’s right.
She speaks softly when she continues. “Fallon wouldn’t want this, Jesse. She wouldn’t want you giving up your life for hers.” She’s almost pleading with me. “I think it’s time you let the cops handle it.”
“What? No! No way. I’ve got this handled,” I say. I run my hands through my hair knowing I don’t really have this handled. Not yet, anyway.
“Look at you, Jesse. Are you even sleeping?” she asks.
I turn to her. The judgement I thought I’d find in her eyes isn’t there. There’s only concern; she’s genuinely worried about me.
“I can’t sleep. I just . . .” I drop my head. “Not knowing what’s happening to her . . .” I shake my thoughts out. “But I need you to know nothing you said to me made me do this. I’d have handled it the same way with or without you. And if giving up everything is what gets her home safely, then that’s what I will do.”
“And this deal with your father—what does it entail from you?” she asks. When I don’t answer her, she continues. “Fallon talks to me, you know. Well, she did. I know you aren’t a bad person. Will having his help force you to be someone you’re not?”
I meet her eyes. “That doesn’t matter.”
“Yes—"
“No, it doesn’t. Because it’s done. The deal is made. And I only came here to tell you that I did what I needed to do, and she’ll be safe soon.” I say with all the finality I can muster.
Again, she looks at me like she can see right through me. But I’m guessing all she sees is a boy who would do anything to save the ones he loves. With a sigh, she gives in.
I lean against the wall facing her limp body in the bed. She looks much better than she did when she first came in. Most of her burns are healing well and she hasn’t been on any type of oxygen the last two times I’ve been here. “You should be getting out of here soon, right?”
“Oh no. No you don’t. You don’t get to save my daughter and me too. I’m grown, Jesse. I can handle myself just fine,” she insists.
“You have nowhere to go. I watched your house burn. I just want to help,” I say with my hands up. “You are welcome to stay with us if you’d like. My mother would love to have another adult in the house that she can gossip with. But something tells me you’d rather have a space of your own. Like daughter like mother, right?”
She smirks and shakes her head at me. “Oh, you are good. I see
