Luckily for us, there were a lot of mock bathrooms set up to showcase sinks and stuff; it didn’t take us long to find somewhere to lay the tiles out. Sam’s choices were varied, something that I definitely appreciated. He hadn’t gone with one sort of color, rather picking both darks and lights. It would help us match something, definitely.
“I don’t think all of them are great,” Sam admitted. “But I’m not a tile, what do they call it? Conicuar?” he seemed skeptical at the word he offered me, making me laugh, both at his look and at the idea of someone being a tile connoisseur.
“I’ll tell you a secret,” I offered. “I’ve never actually picked out tiles before, either.” And boy, it was kind of surreal realizing that my first time - once again - was with Sam, of all people!
Leaning forward, I moved a few of the tiles around, adding the few orange ones I’d found to the middle of all the greens. “I think we want to go with either light and light or dark and dark,” I mused.
Glancing at Sam, I smiled. “So, did your house come with tiles, too?” I asked. Mine had, and they had yet to need replacing. Maybe they weren’t exactly what I would have picked for myself, but they were fine. Not worth the money to get new ones, anyway.
“Yeah,” Sam nodded. There was some hesitation in his tone and I frowned. Before I could ask, Sam went on to explain. Suddenly, it was clear where the awkwardness had come from. “I didn’t want to pick. When I found the house in Salt Lake, I wasn’t... I wasn’t really in a place where I wanted to make any decisions about stuff.”
From the brief times we’d spoken about it since Sam was back in town, I had figured that he’d only ever had one house in Salt Lake City. The house he bought just after we broke up. So in a way, Sam’s lack of personalized tiles was because of me. Kind of.
Not wanting me to offer an awkward apology - not that I thought I would - Sam gave me a smile. “It's a bit ironic that we’re still picking tiles together,” he joked.
It was. My lips curved into a small smile. In a weird way, it was a relief to know that Sam hadn’t picked out tiles with his ex. Though they’d had a pet together, which gnawed at me in a way it really shouldn’t.
Sam had every right to get on with his life. Just as I’d gotten on with mine.
“These wouldn’t be what I’d pick for myself,” I said, shrugging slightly. “But I think either of these sets could work for Pat and Charlotte.” A gesture encompassed the two pairs of tiles that seemed to work the best together.
But we still had to decide between them. “Does the kitchen get a lot of light in the evening?” I asked. “If it does, we could get the darker tiles, I think.”
Sam seemed to think about it. I could picture the way he was placing himself in the kitchen in his head. It reminded me a lot of how we used to study together. Or rather, how I’d helped Sam study. He was always a very visual thinker, needing to place himself in a scenario in order to understand it.
Seeing it now, it brought back memories I hadn’t thought of in ten years. If not even longer. After we graduated high school, we’d not needed to study together.
“It gets good light in the evening,” he finally decided. “There’s a skylight as well, so the kitchen is always very bright, though. Is that a problem? Does everyone think of these things when picking tiles?”
I shrugged. “I honestly have no idea. It just… seems obvious to me. Apart from weekends, Charlotte and Pat will mostly use the kitchen in the evening, right? After they both got home from work.” Sam nodded, with me so far. It was exactly how I’d used to explain things to him, verbalizing what went on in my head without me even really thinking about it.
“So, if the kitchen was dark in the evenings, dark tiles would make it seem even darker. And I think being too dark is a problem.”
On the other hand, no magazine I’d ever read or show I’d ever seen had said a room could be too bright.
Sam thought about it. I almost smiled. He’d always given the things I said a thorough consideration and this was no exception. It really did remind me so much of us studying together. Then, finally having come to a conclusion in his head, Sam nodded.
“Alright, so light colored tiles,” he confirmed. He moved in slightly closer to me, leaving my breath to catch slightly in my throat. Thankfully, Sam didn’t notice, instead reaching for one of the lighter orange tiles I’d brought. “This one’s nice,” he decided. “Looks like pumpkin seeds.”
I laughed, always surprised by the connections his mind made. He briefly glanced my way, as if afraid that I might be laughing at him. It sent a pang of guilt through me. Had I forgotten that under that athletic, confident exterior, Sam had always been sensitive about things?
“I think pumpkin seeds are very appropriate for a kitchen,” I said, pushing a curl back behind my ear. Sam’s gaze followed the movement, my mouth going dry at the way his attention fixed on me.
To distract myself, I dropped my gaze to the tiles once more. My hand reached out, rearranging a few of them. Finally, I tapped one of the lighter green ones. “And this one, I think,” I announced. “They’ll look good with the color of the kitchen counters.”
Sam considered it, but there was no doubt in my
