“Take me home,” I demanded. Even now, Sam’s house felt more home-like to me than anywhere in Toronto. “You didn’t make plans to go out for dinner, did you?” I doubted Sam would’ve done that. He knew I liked to spend my first night with him at his house, not in some busy restaurant.
“Of course not,” he confirmed before turning to give me a grin. “I’m very well trained,” he informed me with a wink. It made me laugh. There was some truth to it. Sam knew what I liked, we’d dated for years. Growing up together had its benefits.
Sam caught me up with who on the team was doing what, how everyone was, which games that I hadn’t caught on TV had been better than others. I loved listening to how passionately he spoke about hockey, it always made me smile.
It felt like no time at all before we were pulling up outside Sam’s house. He rented it but even so it was huge. There was absolutely no need for him to have such a big house and we both knew it, but it was still pretty cool. We were young; having such a huge house to ourselves felt amazing.
“Everything’s just as you left it,” Sam joked as we walked in. It was two months since I last visited. Things really did seem just as I had left them, which made me frown. Sam laughed. “I have cleaned, I promise! I just...” There was a small pause and a little shrug, his huge shoulders moving effortlessly.
“If I don’t move the things from where you left them, then it feels like you’re still here.”
I leaned against his side, his arm wrapping comfortably around my waist. “That’s so romantic!” It was easy to understand his feelings. University didn’t come with a huge house like this but anything Sam left with me was kept in a special box of his things. Seeing it in one corner of my closet was a reminder that he’d visit again soon.
Even though we missed each other equally, it wouldn’t do us any good to talk about it. Sam lived his life here, and mine was on my university campus. We’d have to be patient until we could live in the same space once more.
“I’ll tidy later,” I promised. “Then when I have to go, at least my things will be in new places.”
Sam laughed and I grinned back. God, I’d missed hearing him laugh. Even though we spoke on the phone a lot, it wasn’t the same. Seeing the way his cheeks dimpled, the way his body moved towards mine, it was so much better than speaking on the phone.
“So, pizza?” Sam asked hopefully. It was one of our traditions now. That, too, was nice. To have these traditions, to just know that this was what we were doing. Months apart weren’t going to change how much we enjoyed having our pizza nights.
Somehow, over the time we’d lived so far apart, we had stopped eating pizza without each other. It was our thing. Pizza was something we shared when together. So of course, Sam hardly needed to ask.
“Yes! I’ve been fantasizing about pepperoni almost as much as I’ve been fantasizing about you.” The blush that heated my cheeks was unavoidable, but it was still true. Being with Sam physically was one of the things I missed the most, something that couldn’t be captured in a phone call or a text.
Besides, he only got hotter with every month he trained to play professional hockey! What girlfriend wouldn’t have wanted him?
And the way Sam laughed, I could tell he knew exactly what I meant. That was always the thing with Sam, he knew so perfectly whatever was going on in my head. When people - like my family - said that we couldn’t last, it was because they didn’t see this. The way Sam smiled at me, the way he just knew me and knew what I liked and who I was.
“Pepperoni it is,” he nodded. “And maybe a meat feast for me,” he added. “But don’t worry, I’ll help you finish yours, too.” The promise made me snort. We always did this. Ordered pizzas too big, then struggled to eat them until we gave up and had the leftovers for breakfast.
Cold breakfast pizza was the best when shared after a night with Sam.
As hard as it was to tear myself away from Sam to let him call the order in, it was exciting to wander through his huge house to his bedroom. I’d left so many ‘essentials’ there last time that it wasn’t even necessary to unpack. Sitting on Sam’s bed, I leaned over to press my cheek against the pillow on his side of the bed. It smelled like him, making butterflies explode inside me at the thought of spending three whole nights cuddled up next to him.
That was as long as university could spare me. But it was better than nothing. That was what I tried to remind myself. Seeing Sam was better than not seeing Sam, even if leaving him always made my heart break.
“We should finish that movie we started last time I was here,” I announced as I made my way back into the living room. “The one about the basketball team.”
“Anything you want.” Sam smiled. It was impossible not to smile back. He seemed to read my mind when he pulled me in for a kiss. “I missed you so much,” he sighed. And yeah, that was also something I totally got. Being apart was hard. Even if we spoke all the time, it was still painful that we weren’t able to touch, to be close.
A lot of my life since meeting Sam had included Sam; not having him there to share my university experiences was weird.
