“Ugh, I’m keeping my eggs on ice for now, thanks. Besides, big mouth, are you seeing Fabio again?”
“Don’t change the subject, you slippery eel. Answer the question.” She was as persistent as a toothache.
“No, he hasn’t, but I’m not stressed about it. It’s not like I’m waiting by the phone, pining.”
“Wait! Do you smell that? Oh, I recognize that smell. Hang on . . . it’s bullshit!”
“Oh, for goodness sake, Bria; get off my bed, and let’s get downstairs before my mother sends out a search party.”
“Okay, we’ll take this up later. Bria Bloodhound is in the house!”
“Don’t I know it.”
Lunch was its usual Italian festive affair. My parents were on their best behavior, hosting the perfect luncheon for papa’s new client. They were loaded by the looks of it. The wife wore more jewelry than Sophia Loren, and her husband was sporting the latest designer clothes, fresh off the presses. But my mother was the most beautiful woman in the room. She had a natural beauty that superseded most Italian women, and wherever she went, men and women would gawk.
“Your father tells me you’re off to university to study botanical sciences, Ella,” Bria’s father said after lunch.
“Yes, I am. Papa wants me to be the ‘son’ who’ll take over his vast empire,” I teased as my father laughed.
“There’s no sense in a brain like yours going to waste, Ella,” my father said as he gave me a wink.
“Yes, I’m looking forward to it. It will be fun watching the men squirm when I kick their butts in class.”
“Poor fools,” my mother chimed in. “I feel almost sorry for them.” We all laughed. After lunch, Bria and I excused ourselves and headed for the beach.
I couldn’t wait to hit the ocean.
JOE
The beach was packed. Summers in Palermo were endless tourists and locals, out enjoying the beautiful, azure seas of the Mediterranean. Half naked bodies, brightly colored beach towels, sailboats, and sandcastles were a sight for sore eyes. The usual gang of misfits met up as we headed for the water.
“That was quite a looker you reeled in last night, Joe.” Mario grinned as his rotund body floated on the surface of the water. “Fabio, your filly wasn’t too shabby, either.”
“Yup, my main man, Joe, and I know how to pull the ladies. Just shout if you boys need a few pointers.” Fabio grinned as he floated about.
“We’re doing just fine, thanks, Don Giovanni,” Franco retorted, clearly in one of his pissy moods.
“Oh yeah; when last did you get laid, my friend?” Fabio was baiting the snippy Franco, nothing unusual about that.
“Piss off, you man whore,” Mario yelled as he pushed Fabio’s head under the water in an attempt to shut him up.
It seemed to do the trick. Mario turned back to me. “Well?”
“She’s a stunner alright. Smart too. I better bring my A game,” I said as I took one more dip before I swam back to shore.
“Let’s get a drink at the bar—swimming is thirsty work,” Mario said.
The gang voiced their approval, so we headed for the beach bar. Trays of cocktails whizzed by as we sat under a thatched awning. Music was blaring as happy patrons ate and drank. A pretty waitress sidled over to take our order, and immediately, Mario was in there like a horny buffalo.
“Well, hello, gorgeous. My friends and I are in desperate need of libation. Bring us your finest Harvey Wallbangers, sweetcheeks, and keep ‘em coming.” As she walked away, he pinched her left buttock cheek. It was a good thing she had a sense of humor.
“How do you get away with it?” Franco said after the waitress brought our drinks.
“I could tell you, buddy, but then I’d have to shoot you. Even though the thought is thrilling, your mom is scary!”
We joked and laughed, and a few drinks into our summer’s afternoon, Fabio suddenly stopped talking and gave a wolf whistle. “Well, looky, looky. Is that the future Mrs. Coli with my future ex-wife over there?”
We all turned and my groin skipped a beat when I saw Eleanora walking towards the water in a white bikini. Bria’s dancer’s body was lithe and brown, but all eyes were on Eleanora. Her white bikini painted a delicious contrast with her perfect olive skin. Her black hair was up in a bun, accentuating her long neck; her sensuous hips swayed as she glided across the sand. She was a goddess. I shifted uncomfortably in my swimsuit.
“Holy shit! That some fine ass right there. Don’t worry, boys. Franco and I won’t steal them from you. Bros before hoes, right?” Mario laughed at his own joke—he did that a lot.
“You pervs can stay here and get drunk. I’m off to rescue my princess from the likes of you two mongrels.” I saluted them as I left the bar.
“Hey, don’t leave your wingman behind, dude. You know you’re useless without me.” Fabio followed close behind me. It was time to step it up a notch.
ELEANORA
The beach was packed. Bria and I found a spot on the hot sand and dumped our towels. The cool water was calling me. I dove in, my skin tingling from the delightful sensation. It was the first time I’d worn my white bikini. I was surprised when I looked at my reflection in the mirror. My puppy fat had completely disappeared, leaving a body behind that I was more than just a little pleased with.
“Oh, my god. I think I may sink to the bottom of the ocean. Your mother’s food is weighing me down.” Bria was treading water.
“It was probably the second bowl of tiramisu that did it. You’ve got such a sweet tooth, Bria. How you remain so skinny I’ll never know.”
The voice behind me startled
