It was early afternoon, a little after three-thirty, so I had no idea whether or not Kelsey was done with her classes for the day. If she was back in her room, or if Mel was home. If I spoke to Mel…if I knocked and Mel answered the door, what the fuck would I say? It wouldn’t be the first time I’d spoken to her, but…would seeing me chase after Kelsey be too much?
It wasn’t my problem to worry about. I wasn’t Mel’s keeper. She was her own person, and she needed to learn to take care of herself. Right now, the only person on my mind was Kelsey, finding her, talking to her, making her see that I wasn’t the same asshole I was last year.
Still an asshole, but a different kind of asshole. An asshole that would do anything for her.
I headed up to the third floor, taking two steps at a time. I wound up at the end of a hall, needing to walk nearly all the way down to find her room. Looked like twenty-one through forty were on this wing, and the rest of the ones on this floor were on the other wing; the elevator landing and communal lounge were in the center. If I had to guess, girls got one wing and guys got the other, each with their respective bathrooms.
I didn’t live in a dorm for long last year, after being accepted into Sigma Chi, I was able to move into their house. Of course, back then I had no idea how bad of a fraternity Sigma Chi was, what its hazing entailed, but now I did. Now I did, and I was still a part of it.
My mom would disown me if I left that fraternity, but maybe…maybe that’s what I would have to do to get Kelsey back. The only problem with that was there was no guarantee that Kelsey would want me back, that she’d ever take me back, even if I left Sigma Chi—and then I’d only wind up with a whole lot more debt, because my mom would probably stop paying.
I stopped once I stood before her room. None of the other doors in the hall were open, so I didn’t pass any questioning stares or looks from anyone else. I got enough of those on campus. A lot of people had seen the video. A lot of people recognized me from that invasion of privacy.
My hand curled into a fist, and before I could think better of it, I knocked once. A light tap on the door, a gentle knock compared to what I was capable of. I’d done my best to stay away from Dean these last few days, but man, it grew harder and harder with each passing day. Every single day that went by, I wanted to beat the shit out of him. Strangle him. I didn’t think I was a violent guy, but knowing that Kelsey hated me, I…it made me want to lose it. I’d never hurt her, not in a million years, but Dean? Oh, I’d kick the shit out of that douche and not feel one tiny speck of remorse over it.
It took a few moments, but eventually the door opened.
The door opened, and Mel stood on the other side, giving me a frown. Even though she was a few inches shorter than me, nowhere near the shortness Kelsey was, I was able to peer around her and find that Kelsey wasn’t in the room.
“I’m looking for Kelsey,” I said.
“She’s not here.”
“I can see that. Where did she go?” Trying to get answers from Mel would be like pulling teeth. Impossible and painful. This was exactly what I didn’t want to do: talk to Mel. Now I had to make her understand that this thing with Kelsey was real, that I wasn’t just trying to fuck with her like I’d fucked with Mel.
Mel’s eyes dropped to my feet, slowly traveling up. “Why should I tell you anything?”
I exhaled loudly, trying to keep myself calm. Being calm in this situation would be the only way I’d get Mel to tell me where she was. Kelsey had long since stopped answering my texts; I figured finding her in person would be best. She could try to ignore me, but ignore me while standing two feet from me and ignoring my texts were two very different things.
“Because I’m trying to make things better with her,” I told Mel.
“You’re a liar, Levi,” Mel said, her voice shaking. She looked pale. She looked the very opposite of healthy. Her arms seemed too thin, and her legs were like sticks. I didn’t remember her being so thin last year, but then again, I was too busy trying to…well, lying to her. She was right, of course. I was a liar.
But not about this.
“I’m not lying right now. I know what I did to you was horrible, but I didn’t lie to Kelsey.”
“So it’s just me, then. I’m the one everyone wants to sleep with but no one wants to keep,” Mel muttered, her frown deepening.
I sighed. “It’s not like that.”
“Of course it’s not.” Mel shook her head softly. It was but a moment more before she muttered, “Kelsey went to the elevator a few minutes ago. Her mom is here to pick her up. She’s going to visit her old friend at a different school.” A pause before she said, “I think she’s trying to forget you.”
Her words cut me like a dozen sharp knives, slicing and peeling at my skin. She was leaving SCC for the weekend? The weekend before Halloween? I knew what it meant, and I knew what Mel wasn’t saying. Kelsey was trying to forget me by losing herself in someone else.
That was not
