He clenched his jaw. “I can pick myself up off the floor.”
That was answer enough.
One more question. “What’s suffering to a masochist who’s terrified of affection?”
I didn’t allow him time to reply, instead covering his mouth with my own. I kissed him slowly and felt my own goals change. River had always given me shit for my impulsiveness and random ideas. He liked to say that a plan never survived a meeting with me, even the plans I’d created myself. I changed my mind on the go and thrived when I had to think fast.
As I wove my fingers through Shay’s hair, I felt him relax slightly. He trembled with a shiver, and it happened again when I scratched his scalp. At this point, I was ready to use every damn weapon. I was going to get through to him, one way or another.
Violence wasn’t the only way to disarm someone.
I waited him out with unhurried kisses until he finally caved and started kissing me back timidly. Reluctantly.
The flashes of the city lights faded as River drove us out of DC, leaving the car in total darkness where I took all the advantage I could. Shay drew a shaky breath, and I deepened the kiss, coaxing his tongue out with my own. I wanted to taste him. I wanted to see how quickly we could get through this trip to the house.
Bringing one of his hands to my chest, I silently told him to touch me, and he tentatively curved it over my shoulder.
“I-I don’t wanna feel good,” he stammered.
No, he did. But something was holding him back. Presumably the same part that felt he deserved punishment.
“Sometimes a masochist has to do something he doesn’t like to get what he needs.” I nipped at his bottom lip.
It felt wrong to play along with his delusions, but I had to be patient.
“True, I guess,” he mumbled, fidgeting with the neckline of my tee. “So I gotta do this, kiss you and stuff, because otherwise, you won’t beat me?”
Was he trying to justify his own enjoyment? It was as endearing as it was tragic.
I couldn’t fucking wait to break down his barriers.
“That’s right.” I stroked his cheek and kissed him gently, waiting for his reaction. Waiting for him to finish his reasoning with flawed logic. “First you have to feel good.”
He swallowed. He still struggled with eye contact.
The tension between us crackled, and I could taste how fragile his internal defenses were at times. I imagined a military squadron standing before him, but the front line wasn’t as tough as he wanted it to be. Some of the lines would be easier to push through than others.
“Okay,” he whispered.
I was already through one side of him, and he’d only fooled himself into thinking he didn’t have a submissive nature about him. The way his body responded to me told a different story. His speech and posture had changed drastically since he’d sat in front of River and me at the club.
The next time I kissed Shay, there was less hesitation from him. He’d officially allowed himself a moment of pleasure by promising himself that he’d suffer later. It was sick, and I vowed to myself right then and there to be with him every step of the way. Fuck, consider me committed to ensuring his recovery, regardless if it was my place or not. I knew it wasn’t. He was a grown man; I should let him do whatever the fuck he wanted, including wreck himself.
I just wouldn’t.
Shay relaxed further and slid his tongue along mine, his hand dropping to my chest, then to my stomach. When he snuck it underneath my tee and let his fingers wander over the trail of hair below my belly button, I drew a ragged breath and felt a shudder course through me. I kissed him hungrily, throwing caution to the wind, and lowered my hand to his neck, close enough for my thumb to ghost over his throat.
It was impossible to stop the assault of images of him writhing underneath me, taking my cock, while I choked him out. Or my hands around his throat while River railed his ass. Or River’s cock filling Shay’s throat while I applied pressure to his carotid arteries.
“We’re going to use every inch of you,” I murmured huskily. “You’ll wear our marks for weeks.”
His breathing stuttered, and he all but melted into me and locked his arm around my neck. Only his seat belt prevented him from closing the last distance, and I fucking loved sensing how that frustrated him.
Almost there.
We’d left the highway.
While Shay buried his face against my neck and sucked on my flesh, I glanced forward and exchanged a heavy look in the rearview with River. Holy fuck, were we going to take this boy. My brother would see for himself soon. In a few minutes, we’d be at the house. Then I grabbed Shay’s jaw and met him in a passionate kiss before dropping my hand to his crotch.
“Oh fuck,” he moaned.
I rubbed his stiff cock through his jeans and squeezed his balls until he gasped sharply.
I hummed and went to his nipples next, twisting them hard to gauge his reaction, and there was definitely a masochist in him. He groaned and kissed me forcefully. It spurred me on and turned my cock to granite. When I dug my fingers into his thigh, he whimpered and started panting. Pain brought him to life. What a beautiful fucking sight.
I tightened my grip on Shay’s thigh and watched the pleasure play out across his gorgeous face. “We have a pain slut on our hands, brother.”
River cursed quietly as he drove onto our private road.
Shay rolled his hips, then winced in a way that made me stop. It wasn’t only pleasure written across his face; there was a discomfort that didn’t belong. He pleaded a soft “More” at the same time as he rubbed his temple.
“Are you feeling all right?” I
