Benny had been my only true tie to that life, and without him, the disillusionment had become a black hole of hatred and destructiveness. I’d had to get out, or I might’ve been the next body riddled with bullets. And I couldn’t do that to my mom.
My dad had died for his cause, but it wasn’t mine. And my recklessness wasn’t good for anyone, least of all my unit.
Noah didn’t understand that. He’d just considered me a deserter like more than half the unit had. I’d made peace with my decision, and while I would never accept the senseless death of my best friend, I could live my life honestly like Benny had. It was the only way I could honor him.
I hadn’t known when I walked into Club V in West Hollywood that my life would change. That a drunken brawl in the grimy dive would hand me those sticks again. The drummer in the crappy band had vaulted into the crowd and started a riot. By the end of it, he’d been hauled off.
The band—This Left Feels Right—had appealed to the crowd for help, and I’d had just enough beer to raise my hand and say that I could play.
I’d felt alive for the first time since Benny.
And by some twist of fate, Jamie had been in the crowd. She’d found me after the set. While not my finest hour as a drummer, she’d seen something in me.
Back then, Brooklyn Dawn couldn’t seem to keep a drummer. Whether it was typical male sexism at not wanting to play in a female-led band or fate, I couldn’t say. But it was as if they’d been waiting for me.
I glanced at Teagan, who was curled toward the car window. That same feeling had come over me the day she’d joined the band. A sense of rightness and fate stepping in. I’d found a best friend again, and God help me, I hoped for so much more.
I turned down her street. It was still blocked off from a few houses down. I spotted a sleek black BMW just outside her house. Typical wheels for the Roth people. Before we ended up with our babysitter, I needed to pull Teagan away from the edge.
I quickly parallel-parked in a spot a few yards away from the taped off area. Teagan was still staring out the window, making no move to unbuckle. I quietly unhooked my own and slid my fingers into her hair. “Teagan?”
“Hmm?” She turned to me with a frown then sat up. “We’re here?”
“Yeah.”
“Sorry. I spaced out. So much to think about.” She stared through the front windshield and shivered. “I’m afraid to go in. How much will be ruined?” She closed her eyes and my gut clenched as a tear squeezed out and slipped down her pale cheek.
“Aww, babe.”
Another tear rolled. “This was supposed to be my safe place. Even with all the crap I went through with Pat, this was still my place, you know?”
“A little fire damage doesn’t change that. Especially with this beast of a brick building. It’s not one of those prefab homes, Teag. It’s built Brooklyn strong, just like you.”
She lifted a hand to my cheek. “I’m supposed to be mad at you.”
I covered it, rubbing my thumb along hers then moved in. “You can be mad at me later.”
I watched those cinnamon lashes flutter down just before she melted into me. She tasted of every dream I’d ever had. I sipped from her lightly. The urge to crush her close was overwhelming, but she needed softness from me right now.
I didn’t think I had softness inside me anymore, but for her, it always multiplied under the foundation of friendship and that deeper emotion I had never wanted to name. Never had imagined I’d get to know with this woman.
I tipped her head up and couldn’t help myself from seeking out just a little more.
I always wanted more.
She moaned into my mouth, and her fingers twisted into my T-shirt. As always, the swift change to hot, drugging pleasure came quickly. I dragged her closer, my fingers digging into her firm ass. Then I went lower, finding the edges of her ridiculously distracting shorts.
The console blocked me from getting any closer or deeper. The heat of her and the sun streaming through the car ratcheted up the need to get inside her. Ever since that first night—God, was it just last night?—I never wanted to be anywhere else.
Her fingers fisted my hair, and that little bite of pain unleashed all the pent-up aggravation of the day. The danger around Zane, what could have happened to her, the knowledge that someone actually wanted to hurt the people in my life—all of it needed a release.
I hauled her over the console and hit the lever on my seat until I was stretched out and she was straddled over me.
“We can’t,” she whispered against my mouth, but she still went back for more. Her teeth scraped down my jaw to my neck. “I have neighbors.” She groaned. “Cole.”
“Don’t fucking sigh some other dude’s name into my skin.”
She lifted her head, a smirk growing. “So possessive.” She nipped my lower lip. “I shouldn’t like it and yet.” She laughed into the kiss as she ground against my zipper. “It makes me crazy.”
I groaned and lifted my hips to get her closer. “I like you crazy.” I caught the back of her neck and with my other hand, the small of her back. “Can you come like this? Ride me?”
Her bluebell eyes weren’t tear-filled now. They were bright with challenge. “What about you? Think you can spend the next few hours with blue balls?”
I shook my head no. “Yes.”
She laughed and tried
