It was one of those controlled flow kinds so I just kept my hands in front of the sensor so the cool water kept running over my wrists. A light buzz filled my ears.
“Not now.”
I gripped the counter.
“Come on. You’re fine. You can do this. You’ve ached to do this for ages.”
I lifted my gaze to the mirror. The harsh light made me look a sickly green. I took a long, slow breath and thought about what Cooper had told me to do to get through a panic attack. Breathe. I pictured his smiling face when he sat across from me at the burger place.
Fries.
Smiles.
All that love in his eyes.
Was it love on his end too? It had to be. Not that we’d said the words. I knew I felt it—with everything. But I hadn’t been brave enough to say it either.
The buzzing slowed. Apparently, thinking about my real world problems negated my not-so-rockstar-like stage fright.
I pulled my hands away and the water stopped. I grabbed paper towels and dried off and forced myself to work through a few sets of warmups. I was well aware that Cole was probably laughing his ass off outside the door, but I needed to loosen up my neck and belted out, “Let It Go”. It was the easiest way to get through my chest and head voice. And it was one of those songs that stuck in your head for ages.
But the time I was at the end of it, I was flushed and less ready to toss my cookies. My voice wasn’t near Lindsey’s epicness, but I had a strong natural voice that worked for backing up her vocals. And it was the perfect kind for what I had in mind for the fan club event.
I cracked my neck and jumped up and down a few times to get the last of the nerves out of my system. Then I took a deep breath and opened the door.
Cole stood on the other side, his face impassive. “Ready, Elsa?”
I giggled. “Yes.”
“Noah has Bailey in the backstage food area, and they’re lining up the kids outside.”
“Perfect.”
It was eerily quiet other than the occasional echo from the bowl of the arena. They were doing mic checks and the rat-tat-tat of snare drums snapped through the air. As soon as we got to the side door, there was a new hum.
A trio of catering personnel were putting out drinks and setting up the big silver warming trays for food. There would be about two-hundred fans here for the event. They’d eat between my event and the actual band rehearsal. We’d do five songs and sign autographs.
It was a nice way to give back and usually got people excited for the tour.
I slid a bottle of water out of the tub on the end of the table.
“Teagan?”
I turned to find a woman—girl-ish? She looked sweet and young and unsure. She was a few inches taller than me with light brown hair liberally streaked with either natural highlights from the summer, or she knew a damn good hairdresser. She had huge blue-gray eyes behind tortoiseshell glasses. Instead of typical concert wear, she was in denim overalls shorts with a Brooklyn Dawn shirt.
I held out my hand. “Hey there, you must be Bailey.”
She nodded. “That’s me.” She nibbled on her lower lip. “I don’t usually come to these things. I’m more of a behind the scenes girl.”
“Well, I appreciate you coming out for this. I know it’s a little different, but I thought it would be fun for the site and for the people here.”
“There’s been nothing but chatter about this on the boards. There was even a bit of a scalper thing going on for those who wanted to get last-minute tickets to this. I put a stop to that.”
“Really?”
“Oh, yeah. Everyone loves a good question and answer session. It’s like our own version of a convention.”
I laughed. “Like Comic Con?”
She nodded. “We had a T-shirt contest for the tour and everything. The winner gets it signed by everyone in the band.”
“Huh. I had no idea there was so much going on. I’m not online too much. A little scrolling kind of thing.”
Bailey tucked her hair behind her ear. “Oh, that’s okay. I’m sure you’re very busy. We just love to talk about shows and to share videos and experiences. It’s a community. I think the actual fan club is up to three-hundred-thousand.”
I was mid-sip and choked. “No way.”
“Oh, yeah. We’re one of the biggest fan clubs out there.”
“And you run this?”
She blushed. “Well, I make sure it all runs smoothly. I have a few other clients, but Brooklyn Dawn keeps me busy.”
“Well, I really appreciate you coming out from behind the curtain as it were.”
“I was surprised you invited me. I usually come to the shows and of course to watch the rehearsal, but I don’t talk to the band too often.” She shrugged. “You guys are really busy.”
“You were a huge help in getting this put together. Now you have to help me. I’m going to have you play MC.”
“Wait. What?”
“Yeah. Field questions when they come up and of course…the game.”
“Right.” She flipped her hair over one shoulder until it was tangled into the bib of her overalls. She carelessly started braiding a chunk of it as if it was a nervous habit. “I didn’t realize there would be talking.”
I laughed and hooked my arm into hers. “We’re going to get along just fine. We’ll both be nervous Nellies together.”
“You?”
I dragged her along to the hallway. Cole and another of the security guys followed us. “So nervous. Last time, I did a super awkward Q&A, and I definitely didn’t want to do that again. I’m just not that interesting.”
“I beg to differ.”
“You’re sweet. But it was really bad.”
“That one was in California. Too far for me. I’m an East Coast
