Cycling, at its heart, is an individual sport. On the bike, you are largely on your own out there. If you are doing it properly, there is not much chit-chat. Sure, you are part of a team and once you’ve got your breath back, it’s great to gather together at a pub or café and recount what you’ve just conquered, whether that be Winnats Pass or the Staines bypass. Cycling, then, is a gang of individuals. TV sports broadcasting is much the same.
As a commentator, you are pretty much on your own. Yes, I have a sherpa next to me on the ascent, but when it comes to the words that I use, I am alone on stage; naked except for the red Vuelta roadbook in front of my bits as everyone points and laughs. Sorry, that last bit was a recent nightmare.
Anyway, back to the point: I am the last man standing in the process of the production. My words, once spoken, cannot be retrieved. They will hit the Moon after around 18 minutes and then drift off into the universe. They are, indeed, all said and done. I don’t have auto-correct, except if Kelly starts star-jumping and mouthing, ‘Nooooooooo!’ It is my responsibility to put the cherry on top of the broadcast cake. Some agree that what I do is indeed the final touch; they just reckon it’s more akin to bird poo on the roof of a Ferrari.
There is a pyramid of staff that bring cycling to your screens. The race organisers and all their infighting and funding issues. The local councils and police, national sports bodies and sanctioning authorities. The rights negotiation crew and the booking staff. Operations managers and logistics. Helicopters, motorcycles, cars and trucks. Barriers, catering and cables. Data, rigging, power, guidebooks – and much more. Every job that has to be done has a team that got every single person or thing into position. Even just the TV bit: cars, tickets, passes, hotels, cameras, graphics, planners, producers, directors, lighting, sound, make-up – and those are just some of the items on what is a very long list.
Fast-forward to the action that actually pops up on your screen. If everything comes together in this mega-operation, then all you have to do is press a few keys or buttons and have your favourite sport, in all its magnificence, set before you.
And then I go and tell you what I think about it. This will either go down well or it will go down badly.
What I do for a living is a privilege. I love cycling and I love my job. It’s a hell of a merry-go-round. For now, yippee! I still have a book of tickets. One day, inevitably, I will take my last ride. In the meantime, I’m going to carry on having fun and wholeheartedly invite you all to join me.
So until the spinning stops, I say –
To my fans: ‘Hi gang!’
To those who put up with me: ‘Thank you.’
And to those who really don’t like me much: ‘Sorry.’
Bye for now.
Carlton Kirby
About the Authors
Carlton Kirby is the principal cycling commentator for Eurosport and has covered the Tour de France, the Giro d’Italia and Vuelta a España among many other cycling races.
He has worked in broadcasting for over thirty years, over which time he has accumulated legions of loyal fans who are drawn to his witty and, at times, excitable style. Known by some as the ‘language mangler’ and for his ‘Kirbyisms’ (occasional strange musings about not just cycling but the very fabric of life), loyal listeners have set up a Twitter account of his humorous comments: Things Carlton Says, @saidcarlton.
Robbie Broughton is the co-founder and managing editor of Ride Velo, an online magazine that covers features, profiles, product reviews and news of the professional cycling world.
Living in a traditional Mallorcan village he likes nothing more than setting off on his bike into the Tramuntana mountains in a deluded attempt to emulate his cycling heroes.
Acknowledgements
Well it took some time coming, but finally a window into my world is here. Two years ago Robbie Broughton pitched up at Eurosport, my long-suffering and benevolent employers, to interview me for his @ridevelo site. It was supposed to be a 20-minute appointment and we ended up talking for a couple of hours. I don’t think Robbie got a word in. Finally he could take no more as his cheeks were aching thanks to his fixed grin. We’d had fun. He asked if I’d ever thought of writing a book. I had of course but this life of mine gets busy. A series of recorded chats were planned and slotted into the season between and during races. Robbie corralled my thoughts and witterings into a series of chapters and I then Kirby-fied what you have in your hands. I have to thank my family for respecting the closed door to my office. I owe Stephanie, Teddy and Margot a fine holiday or two.
Writing can steal a part of one’s soul but I’ve enjoyed the journey. So what you have in your hands is a slice of me gladly given. I hope you enjoy the ride … that way we can plan another together!
Index
accommodation doping here
Adamo, Massi here
aero discs, wheel here
aerodynamics here, here
Amaury Sport Organisation (ASO) here
An Post–Chain Reaction team here
An Post team here
Androni Giocattoli team here
Anquetil, Jacques here, here, here
‘Antler Man’ (Dore Holt) here
Armstrong, Lance here
Astana team here
Athletic Club de Boulogne-Billancourt team here
Aucouturier, Hippolyte here
Augereau, Fernand here
Bardet, Romain here
Barloworld team here, here
Barolo, Italy here
Bartali, Gino here
beIN SPORTS here
Belgian Cup races here
Bennett, George here
bike adjustments, questionable here
biker gang party here
bladed wheels here
Boardman, Chris here
bomb dogs here
Borg, OJ here
Brailsford, David here, here, here, here, here
British Cycling here
British Road Championships here
broadcasting mishaps here
Brompton races here
Brotherton, Simon here
camera bikes here
Cancellara, Fabian here
Cassani, Davide here
Cattaneo, Mattia here
Cavendish, Mark here, here, here, here, here, here, here
Chasse, Patrick here, here
Chaves, Esteban here
cheating here
see also doping; rules, bending the
clothing, racing here
commentating/commentators here, here
broadcasting mishaps here
hotel stories here, here
interviewing riders
