He propped himself on his elbow, and she shuffled on the hay, the prickly grass itching her knee and legs. “Hmmm. Sixteen years old. My girlfriend back then, same age.”
“And?”
“I wish I knew then what I know now.”
She nudged his shoulder. “If you did, I doubt she would’ve ever let you go.”
She meant to say it playfully, but a lump formed in her throat, and the uncomfortable awareness returned, twisting her insides. A zingy energy passed between them, pulling them closer to each other even though neither moved an inch. Tingles arrowed inside her, in all directions, carrying a message she didn’t want to decipher.
Without breaking the stare, he stroked her cheek, his touch so gentle, she leaned into it, silently begging for more. He acquiesced, sliding his hand down to the back of her neck, and she exhaled. If she had met a nice man like him when she’d been a runaway girl, would she have settled? Her heart skipped a beat.
No. She wouldn’t have been ready to give herself to someone back then—not even a guy as dreamy as Brooks. She moved her head a bit, jerking it away from him to clear her mind. If he continued touching her, no rational thought would hit her brain. “What’s on your mind?” she asked.
“You know, you popped my other cherry today, so in a sense, you were present during a loss of virginity.”
“Really? Was it…okay?” Alexa chewed her bottom lip. She’d read about how some guys enjoyed some play in their ass during oral sex or intercourse. A shiver raced down her spine. What if he’d hated it? He’d acted like he loved it.
“Yeah. But moving forward, I’d much rather do the same to you, Madam.”
“Well, you’d be popping my cherry then,” she said with amusement. “I’ve tried with my vibrator, but never with a guy back there.”
Balls of fire lit his eyes, sparkling specks of gold shooting through his irises. “Tell me more.”
“Well, I did some research, because in my line of work, it’s good to know things. Also, I wanted to see if I’d like it,” she finished, telling the real reason why she’d bought a two-dildo contraption. A wave of heat spread across her cheeks and neck, and she touched her chest, cursing her heart for beating so wildly.
“Did you?”
“It’s okay but I’m sure with a guy it’s different.” Better with a guy. No, not just any guy. Better with him.
He took her hand and kissed her knuckles. “Maybe you’ll let me show it to you.”
“Maybe,” she said, biting her tongue to keep from adding someday. The possibility stoked a fire in her belly, quickly spreading within her, unsettling her core.
He stared at her with a fiery intensity that had the power of softening her insides. She swallowed. For so long, never had been such a definite word in her romantic life. And now, she’d open herself to a maybe.
“I’ll take maybe.”
She chewed the inside of her cheek. Why did a part of her insist he didn’t talk about anal sex? “Tell me about your parents,” she said, sobering up, desperate to cling to reality like a sinking person to life vests.
He shot her a mocking glance, almost as if her random question didn’t fool him for one second. This would go a lot smoother if he weren’t so smart and perceptive. If he didn’t read her so well.
“Mom’s good. She hasn’t been healthy. Her caretaker always keeps me posted. I haven’t talked to my father in a long time.”
“Why not?”
“Because when we grew up, I didn’t know I had a half sister, or about the self-absorbed creep he was. When I found out, he showed me his true colors.”
“Was he a good dad until then?”
“Nah. I didn’t know any better, though.”
“Does that experience make you feel wary of having kids of your own?”
“No, because I know what not to do.”
“You’re brave. Going into the unknown to rewrite history and make things different.”
“What’s the other option, if not moving forward?”
“Moving forward can mean many things.” In her case, it meant moving from place to place and changing her zip code and name to become a new person. Bile rose up her throat. New person, old problems. Would she find everything she wanted by retiring from the auctions and moving to Spain? Helping women who had been battered by men would give her a purpose in life. What if I need more?
Chapter Seven
“Well, that was a good celebration.” Brooks pulled up his jeans. Hell, ever since the previous day at the barn, they’d been celebrating. Earlier this morning, Scott had signed the contract they gave him, which now made the male virgin auction official. He grabbed his belt off his chair and buckled it one notch tighter than usual. Was having Scott in the auction a bad idea?
Scott knew what the auction entailed, and he’d make enough money to change his life forever. Then why did a nagging doubt throb in Brooks’s temples? Because you can no longer criticize Alexa. You’re doing the same thing as her, whether you have a different motivation or not.
He wrestled with the idea. He’d only do it once, and for a strong reason. Didn’t that count as a gray area?
“Yeah.” She sat up on his bed, covering her body with a sheet. “I sent some pictures to Jackie and asked her to start the promotional material. You have the contacts, right?”
He swallowed. Yes, he knew far too many rich women who would be perfect for this venture. He hadn’t expected to use them, or shit, he’d hoped to be further along by now. To have a good lead about what had happened to his sister. He’d even searched Alexa’s room earlier that
