I fell still in the middle of the room, closing my eyes as I fought against the need to crumble. To split apart and rip into the world and drown my chaos in fury and-
Mozart spilled from the speakers and surrounded me in pure, dulcet tones which made the itch beneath my skin settle a little and I released a slow breath as I let the music permeate my soul.
“Do you think you can match me on the bench?” Kyan taunted as the sound of him racking weights reached me and I cracked my eyes open.
He was smirking in a way that said he didn’t believe I could and my lip curled back at the dare in his eyes.
“Do you think you can match me?” I countered as I moved to join him.
There were no windows down here so it was easier to believe his lies and pretend it was morning. With a deep breath, I forced myself to accept them and moved to join him on the bench.
We pushed ourselves like the demons of hell would come and drag us down to join with them unless we surpassed every physical protest our bodies had to offer.
We moved between machines and ended up at the punching bag where I followed Kyan’s lead and beat the living shit out of the thing without wearing gloves. My knuckles were rubbed raw and cracked open and the sting of my wounds lit a fire in me. But I needed the outlet. I needed the pain in punishment for my failure. I needed to dive into it and find bliss in the knowledge that it was mine and mine alone.
When we finally fell still, panting, sweating and bleeding, Kyan pulled me into his arms and gripped a fist full of my hair as he crushed me against him.
“The devil won’t win today, Saint,” he growled fiercely, determined to make it so, even when I felt doubt creeping over my skin.
“Let’s hope not,” I agreed, embracing him and hoping he knew how much I appreciated what he was doing for me with this farce.
We headed upstairs and I hesitated as I realised I couldn’t go to my en-suite for my shower, my jaw ticking as I looked towards Kyan and Blake’s rooms instead.
“Hot water is hot water,” Kyan said, clapping a hand on my shoulder and steering me towards his room without giving me the chance to complain about it.
The music shifted to Bach’s Cello Suite No. 1 in G and Kyan set the water running for me before stepping back into his room.
My posture was tight as I stripped off and stepped beneath the flow of the shower, cranking the dial until it was scalding me.
I pressed my palms to the tiles and let the water beat down over me as I closed my eyes and concentrated on breathing in and out.
My whole body ached from the intensity of our workout and my darkest nature had retreated as fatigue plagued me. But my mind was firing on all cylinders, thoughts of every new issue we were facing scrolling through my brain one after the other.
I followed the line of each thread of thought as I came up with ways to deal with all of our issues.
There could be no stone left unturned. The Hades Virus had reared its ugly head at our gates and I refused to be beaten back by it.
This school had every reason to be a safe haven for us to ride out the storm while we awaited the inevitable vaccination. All I had to do was make sure it was secured, locked down and impenetrable.
I finally shut off the water, drying myself quickly and dressing in the black sweatpants Kyan had left out for me. They were mine. Perfectly folded, clean. He must have slipped up to my closet to retrieve them and I should have chewed him out for risking getting so close to Tatum while she might be incubating, but the idea of borrowing clothes had been making me anxious all over again and the simple gesture sent relief flooding right through me.
I passed Kyan as he headed in for his own shower and he clapped me on the shoulder before he closed the door between us. I hated that he could see how close I was to cracking, but loved that he knew what I needed to hold it together.
Tomorrow, I’d reclaim full control of myself and no doubt he’d go right back to fucking with my ritual. But today, he stood by me and helped me contain the beast which my flesh housed. And if that wasn’t love then I’d never grasp the concept of it. If he could look into the eyes of the monster inside me and help me to feed it, contain it and even accept it as who I was, then what more could I ever ask of him?
As I made it back into the central room of The Temple, the scent of eggs made my stomach growl and I found Blake sitting at the table in his usual spot, devouring a stack of pancakes with my usual breakfast of eggs, toast and avocado waiting for me beside him.
It was so…routine, my heart ached for it.
Just like any other morning.
“Morning,” he said, his lips twitching around a mouthful of syrup coated, carb loaded, sugar.
My gaze fell on the window for a moment and the sun which was clearly on its descent towards the horizon before I dismissed it and took my place beside him.
I glanced up and found Tatum watching us with interest, her long, blonde hair trailing over one shoulder
