A shaky breath staggered from my lungs as I realised what he was saying. “That’s why she died?”
“Yes,” he croaked, his grief clear and it unravelled me, making me fall apart. “But you didn’t…it worked for you. That scar on your arm, that’s what it’s from. I never wanted to remind you because after we loss Jess, oh sweetheart you were so broken and I just…I-”
“Dad, where are you?” I begged, cutting him off as more tears washed over my skin. “It’s hell here. Why did you leave me?”
“I’m sorry, I had to protect you. But we’ll be together soon. I can’t talk much longer, they’ll trace this call.”
“Who will?” I begged, clutching the phone so tight it was bruising my palm.
“I can’t say any more. I have to go. But do you remember the place with the fairies? Remember where you loved to catch them?”
“Y-yes,” I stuttered. “That’s where you are?”
“Not yet, can you make it there next month on the day we always went camping? You need to come alone. Can you do that for me, kiddo?”
I took a shaky breath, wondering how I would manage it, but I would. I just had to. “Yes, I’ll be there.”
“I can’t wait to see you.”
“You too,” I breathed. “But wait, just please tell me. Did you do it? Is what they’re saying about you true?”
“I have to go sweetie, I love you. I’ll explain everything soon. Don’t tell anyone that you’re immune.”
“Wait-” I gasped but he hung up, the words I love youtoo sticking in my throat. I placed the phone down on the floor, resting my hands on the tiles as I came apart. This virus had killed Jess. Dad had been responsible, even if he hadn’t meant it. And was I really immune? I ran my fingers over the rose-shaped scar on my arm, my throat constricting like a python was wrapped around it. The memory was a blur, distorted by the loss of Jess not long after. But I could almost remember the needle if I really focused…
My head started to throb.
It was too much. I couldn’t process it all at once. I longed for my dad’s embrace; I needed him to tell me this would all be okay. To explain all of this until it made sense. But he was gone. And reaching him was going to be hard, but not impossible. I could do it. I would find a way.
I rested my head against my hands, falling apart completely as I tried to understand everything he’d said. Jess, oh Jess…
The truth was crushing, debilitating. I came apart at the seams, crying as I mourned the loss of my sister all over again. This news was too much to bear on top of everything else that had happened. Just when I thought things couldn’t get worse, then this. This crippling knowledge that my sister had died because of that virus. Because my father had tried to protect her and failed.
I curled in on myself, shaking and crying as the world fell away and I was lost to a sea of grief. I didn’t know how long I lay there, only that I was sinking deeper and deeper into a pit of despair that I didn’t think I’d ever surface from.
Hands were suddenly on me and I blinked up at Saint through a haze of tears. My heart jolted and I tried to push him away, but he pulled me closer. He surveyed me with fear and confusion in his eyes like he was out of his depth, swimming upriver in a deluge.
I pushed him away again, curling in on myself, but he wouldn’t leave. My towel started slipping, but I didn’t care to grab hold of it and as I looked up to tell Saint to go away, he pulled his long-sleeved button down off and pushed it over my head. Gently, he guided my arms into the sleeves, pushing it down to fall over my thighs as he pulled the towel away.
I gazed at him in surprise as he knelt before me, looking through strands of hair which had fallen over my face.
“You should go,” I said, my voice hoarse.
A moment of silence hung between us where he didn’t leave then I lunged toward him, wrapping my arms around his neck, desperate for the comfort, even if he wasn’t the right place to seek it. I just didn’t know what else to do and he was the only one here right now. There was no one else to turn to. He stiffened in surprise then his arms slowly closed around me and he held me as I sobbed, his hand starting to move up and down my back in soothing strokes.
“I can…get one of the others,” he said, his voice tight.
“No, don’t leave,” I begged, burying my face into his neck. His cool skin felt like a dream against my burning flesh. I just needed to stay here in his arms. It was making my racing heart begin to slow and I didn’t know why I kept clinging to him, but I couldn’t stop.
He gently scooped me into his arms and cradled me to his chest. I didn’t have the energy to struggle as he strode out of the bathroom, walking straight across his bedroom and striding into his closet.
He kicked the door shut and carried me to the far end of it, lowering to sit down in front of the mirror and laying me across his lap.
He hooked a metal box off of the lowest shelf, resting it against my bare knees and I gasped at the cold bite of it, managing to stop crying long enough to look at it.
“What’s that?” I croaked.
He pushed my hair out of my face, his mouth turned down at
