Last night kept replaying in my mind over and over again. I picked through everything my dad had said with a fine tooth comb, trying to figure out if I’d missed something. I kept examining the rose-shaped scar on my arm as if it held the answers for me I needed. But only my dad could give me those. The truth was hard to accept and though I should have been relieved to know I was safe from the Hades Virus, I was just anxious about what other truths my dad was hiding.
My entire afternoon at school was spent in a daze and by the time I was in P.E. and Monroe sent the whole class running laps around the football field, I was kind of glad of the solitary exercise.
The repetitive pounding of my footfalls beneath me helped my mind relax at last. I was finally starting to accept everything Dad had told me, even though it was a shock. The reason Jess had died made me feel all kinds of things. Anger, regret, hurt. I had no doubt Dad had carried the burden of guilt over her death for years, the shame of being responsible eating him up from the inside. He hadn’t been the same since she’d passed, a light had gone out in his eyes even though he always still smiled for me. Was always strong. A knife twisted in my chest as I thought of it. I didn’t know whether to hate him or pity him. I knew he wouldn’t have hurt her intentionally, but it was so hard not to be resentful toward him for stealing my sister away from me. He didn’t know. He wouldn’t have given it to her if he’d thought there was a risk.
Monroe blew his whistle and I blinked out of my stupor, turning to look over at him on the other side of the field. Everyone had stopped running while I did another lap. Everyone except me, Blake and Kyan who were both right behind me. I frowned at them as I slowed to a halt, surprised to find them so close without having realised.
I instinctively looked around for Saint, but he wasn’t there. Last night had been surreal, made more so by the fact that I’d ended up in his arms. Him of all people. Him of all beasts. It made me feel uncomfortable things. Like, how was I supposed to keep hating him so fiercely when he’d not only returned my letters to me, but I’d destroyed something so valuable of his in return for something he never even did?
It struck me that he’d never even asked why I was crying last night. He’d seemed so uncertain of how to comfort me, yet had provided what I needed without even realising. I didn’t want to see him as something less than a monster though. If I did that, I’d be on a slippery slope. And I needed to hate Saint Memphis will all my heart. He’d done more to me than just the letters, I wouldn’t forget that.
“What’s the plan, baby?” Kyan panted. “We running another few laps or are you done?” There wasn’t any sweetness in his words, it was just a firm question. Did he need to keep following me or not? But why the hell were they following me in the first place?
I frowned, looking between them both just as Monroe blew his whistle once more, beckoning us off the field. “Any time today fuckers!” he called, cupping his hands around his mouth.
“I’m done,” I said, offering them a tight smile before walking through the middle of them and marching across the field towards the sports hall. Monroe headed inside before I made it there, ensuring he didn’t have to speak to me. Which was great. Just fucking great.
It started to rain as I made it inside and I headed through to the girls’ locker room with numb fingers and ice cold cheeks. I soon warmed up under the flow of a warm shower beside Mila though.
“You were going for gold out there,” she chided and I offered her a smile.
“Yeah, I didn’t realise I had two wolves snapping at my heels though.” I wished I could tell Mila about last night, but I feared getting anyone involved where my dad was concerned. He was the most wanted man in the world right now. It would put Mila in an awkward position if she found out I was in contact with him. Not that I thought she’d give me up, but still.
“They’ll eat you alive, girl.” She winked. “Although, can’t say that would be the worst thing in the world. Danny eats me like my pussy is an ear of corn and he’s a chipmunk with an insatiable appetite. I have to worry about what kind of porn that boy watches.”
I burst out laughing and she fell apart with me. It made me feel lighter at last, the weight of yesterday lifting just a little.
“You really need to tell him,” I pointed out as we headed out of the showers, wrapping ourselves in towels.
“I have, but then he starts motorboating somewhere thirty miles south of my clit and I use the time to catch up on my insta. It’s kind of therapeutic.”
“Mila,” I snorted.
“I know, girl, I should be training him up harder, but the guy will spend up to an hour between my thighs without complaint. How can I pass up all that me time?”
I chuckled as I opened my locker, but my laugh fell dead as I found a bunch of beautiful blue forget-me-nots sitting inside. What the hell?
I took them out and Mila’s eyes widened. “Woah, tell
