“Are you angry because you liked it?” she breathed, her grip tightening on my arm as the rain crashed down on us and neither of us gave a shit. Because the storm didn’t even exist in that moment. It was just me and her.
“This is so fucked,” I breathed because I couldn’t fucking lie to her. My clothes were clinging to my body as the rain weighed them down. She only had to glance down to see how fucking much I’d liked it as my dick stayed solid for her despite the cold. “I’m not allowed to like it.”
“Says who?” she asked, raindrops clinging to her lashes.
“Says the world.”
“Fuck the world,” she growled. “The world wasn’t there for me when I was at my lowest. The world didn’t give a shit when I was cut open and left bleeding. The world didn’t hold me when I shattered and remind me how to be strong when I needed someone to believe in me. But you did. So I don’t give a shit about the world. I don’t want the world. But I do want you.”
My pulse was thundering in my ears at her words and every bit of restraint I had was threatening to cave in, fall apart, come crashing down and crush both of us with the force of it.
I moved towards her before I could stop myself, my body making the decision that my head wanted to fight.
She tipped her chin up so that the rain washed over her face and the moment my lips met hers, I was lost.
I was weak, cast adrift, forgotten, broken and alone with her.
A hungry moan escaped her as her hands curled around my neck and she dragged me down to deepen the kiss. Everything about it was raw, brutal, dirty and desperate and I felt like I might drown in it if I didn’t pull back soon.
Her lips moved with mine in a frenzied rhythm that made me ache as I pushed my tongue into her mouth. She tightened her arms round my neck, tugging me closer as the rain soaked us and our heartbeats found their own perfect rhythm together. She tasted like the sweetest kind of relief, like the sun breaking through the clouds and washing over my skin, warming me through in a way I hadn’t even known I’d been craving. This felt so right that it was impossible to believe it was wrong and as she moaned into my mouth, I knew that I wasn’t just going to be able to forget about this. Us. This tangible, undeniable force which was urging us together and making me ache with the need to claim her as my own.
Her body pressed to mine and I was sure that I’d never wanted anything like I wanted her right now. But having her could ruin everything. If we were discovered, I would be ripped out of her world and away from the revenge I’d given my life to. I’d lose my chance to exact vengeance on Saint’s father for what he’d stolen from me. For Michael, Mom.
I broke our kiss as suddenly as I’d initiated it and forced myself to step back as the rain thundered over us.
“It’s okay,” she said, looking at me with sadness and understanding in her eyes. “I know why we can’t. I just wanted you to know…I wish we could.”
“I wish we could too,” I said, my voice raw with the emotion of denying her. Denying us.
In any other circumstance I would have caught hold of her and never fucking let her go again. I would have taken every risk, every chance to be with her, but how could I do that knowing what it might cost? I owed my family justice. They deserved that much, even if there was nothing else I’d ever be able to offer them. Troy Memphis had taken their lives from them. Had taken everything from me. And I had to see this through. I had to finish what I’d started or I knew I’d never be able to find peace. What good would I be to her if I didn’t achieve that? If I was just this broken, aching shell forever more. It wasn’t fair to my family. It wasn’t fair to me. And it wasn’t fair to her.
We gazed at each other for an eternal moment before I turned away and took off down the path.
Tatum Rivers was just another thing on this Earth that I couldn’t have because of Troy Memphis. And I’d make him pay for that along with the rest. Even if it took everything I had to do it.
I headed back into The Temple soaking wet with my lips tingling and my mind buzzing. Letting go of Nash was going to be nearly impossible to do, but I knew I had to for his sake. It just hurt like hell.
The Night Keepers looked up as I strode straight to the fridge, grabbing a bottle of rum and taking a swig from the bottle. Then a few more until the ice in my veins thawed out and a deep burn ran all the way to my core, chasing away the pain
