“No,” I spat, stepping toward him. “It isn’t good enough, Kyan. None of it is good enough.” I slapped him, making his head wheel sideways.
He looked back at me with dead eyes, his chin tilted down. “Better?”
I shook my head, turning away from him again and staring out at the turbulent world which felt exactly like my heart. Nothing would make it right. Nothing could. Even getting my revenge wouldn’t take back what they did to me. How they’d treated me as badly as the Unspeakables. Worse maybe. Like I was deserving of all their hate in the same way they were. “You banded me in with them. Is that how you feel about me, Kyan? Are you as disgusted with me as you are with them? Do you think I’m as despicable as they are?”
“Tatum,” he rasped, a plea in his voice that I’d never heard from him before. “You’re not like them.”
“Then why did you do it?” I whirled around to face him, ready to hit, fight, claw, but my breathing stuttered as I found him on his knees. Just a boy in the rain with his heart bleeding.
“Because I may punish the villains of this world, baby, but I’m the most heartless villain of them all. Saint, Blake and I were the first Unspeakables, we’ve all done things that would make you fear us more than death itself. And you may not be guilty, my sweet fucking wild girl, but you’re not innocent either. At least half your heart is black, and that half will always call for us. I dare you to deny it.”
I walked forward, my bare toes curling against the wet wood as I stood in front of him. I pushed my fingers into his sopping hair and blinked the droplets from my lashes.
“I don’t,” I whispered, then I walked past him, heading inside and realising I’d gotten a king to kneel for me as I’d always hoped. And it didn’t feel quite as good as I’d imagined.
I thought of my list of revenge and mentally crossed the Unspeakables off it. I wouldn’t be seeking vengeance in their names, not now that I knew what they truly were. It made me sick.
Kyan followed me inside and his arms closed around me from behind as I lingered in the room, not knowing what to do. It didn’t feel like an embrace, it felt like a reminder of who I belonged to. “I think I know something that will cheer you up.”
“Is it your dick? Because I’m really not in the mood, Ky,” I sighed, a headache starting to work its way behind my eyes.
He chuckled wickedly, placing his mouth to my ear, his heated breath sending warmth skittering across my flesh. “Not unless you want it to be.”
I shrugged out of his hold, turning to him with narrowed eyes, finding nothing but mischief there. It disarmed me. And I could feel myself giving into it, wanting to give into it. After everything he’d told me, I didn’t want to be angry at him. At least not for now.
“Let’s go then,” I said with a casual ass shrug and it was his turn to narrow his eyes at me.
“Just like that?” he questioned like I was a deadly bomb he needed to defuse.
“Just like that.” I headed away from him, grabbing my socks and stuffing them in my pocket before pushing on my shoes. Then I jogged downstairs and out through the boathouse. By the time Kyan appeared, I was sitting on his motorbike with his helmet on, patiently waiting to go. He was right, the truth did change things. It changed the whole damn world. And I wasn’t ready to face up to what that meant.
I shifted back on the seat as Kyan approached and he sat in front of me, making me wind my arms around his stomach as he kicked the bike into gear. He spun us around and took off down the path, my heart whizzing through my chest as exhilaration took hold of me. The rain was starting to ease and a glimmer of silver light shone beyond the clouds as the moon tried to break through. We stopped off at the library to grab my things and I was glad to find the Unspeakables had left – and cleaned up Kyan’s piss. I didn’t even feel bad about that now. When I saw Deepthroat again, I was pretty sure I was going to beat the living shit out of her for touching my man.
By the time we reached The Temple, moonlight was filtering down on us and the cold air made me shiver as I waited for Kyan to lock up his bike and return to where I stood under the shelter of the church porch.
“What now?” I asked and he caught my hand, opening the door and towing me inside.
“Now, we shower and get changed out of this wet shit,” he said, smirking as he pushed me in the direction of Saint’s room while he headed away toward his.
The place was quiet and I wondered where the other two were as I ran upstairs and was soon warming up under the flow of the shower. I got to choose my own clothes for once and pulled on a pair of yoga pants with criss-crossing cut outs down the thighs and calves and a fitted pale blue sweater.
When I stepped out of the closet, my heart lurched at the sight of Kyan standing there in nothing but a pair of dark red sweatpants, his hair damp and curling slightly around his cheeks. He looked young and playful and I wanted to dive into that look in his eyes and never return.
“Saint and Blake are out for a run,” he revealed as his eyes trailed over my
