“You’re a pig, Kyan,” I said lightly, moving around in front of him with the bowl and dropping into a crouch. “And I’m going to make you squeal.”
I smeared another handful over his chest, rubbing it in while his eyes narrowed on me, a hunter behind his gaze which he was clearly struggling to restrain.
“Good luck with that,” he chided and I pushed away any guilt I had that was holding me back from saying the words in my head. He deserved to hear what I had to say. He deserved to hurt for hurting me.
I levelled my gaze on him and he stared at me without a care in the world. “You can’t own up to anything you do, Kyan,” I said, dipping my voice in venom. “You smirk your way through life, knocking people to the ground beneath you as you go. You couldn’t give a damn about the consequences of your actions. You damage people beyond repair and leave them in the mud.”
His smirk remained hitched in place, but his eyes darkened. “And?” he drawled.
“And I thought that was because you were an egotistical prick with a superiority complex at first.”
The crowd ooohed as I slapped on another layer of fish and Kyan yawned provocatively.
“But it isn’t that,” I continued, ignoring his lack of reaction because I had a feeling I knew how to get under his skin. And my hunches were usually worth betting on. “It’s the opposite actually. You value yourself so little that you have to push other people down to feel important. So why is that, Kyan? Did your mommy never tuck you in at night? Did your daddy never tell you he loved you?”
Kyan’s eyes flickered, giving me a glimpse of the broken boy beneath all his bullshit. My heart twisted, but I ignored the feeling, barrelling on because he deserved every slice of pain I could deliver him. He’d never flinched when hurting me. “You don’t talk about them,” I pointed out. “Even Blake and Saint mention their parents from time to time. But you?” I shook my head as I rubbed more of the fish down his arms. His muscles were rigid beneath my touch and he was no longer smirking. “You don’t mention them at all. So I’m guessing they’ve either cut you off…” I paused as I eyed his expression, sensing that guess wasn’t correct before continuing. “Or you cut them off.”
His lips twitched, confirming it and I smiled victoriously.
I grabbed some more fish from the bowl then dropped down to eye level with him, my words low enough so they were just for us. The crowd was for the humiliation, but my words weren’t for them. They were for this man who played with me like a wolf with an old bone. I was convenient, mildly interesting but not delicious enough to give his full attention to. Yesterday’s meal. Already digested and forgotten.
“I guess you hoped cutting them off would empower you then, and make whatever they did to you go away. But you can’t fill the void a lack of love leaves behind with hate. The only thing that would heal your empty heart is love itself. But who would ever love you, Kyan? When you hate the world so fully that everything you touch falls to ruin.”
His lips tightened and emotion danced behind his eyes that made guilt squeeze my chest. I tried to drink in his pain like he and his friends always drank in mine, but this revenge didn’t taste so sweet. It was bitter on my tongue, but necessary all the same. He’d watched me break before, now I wanted the same in return. Even if I bled along with him.
“And you know that, don’t you?” I asked coldly, but he didn’t respond, his jaw locked and his brow pinched. “That’s why you don’t kiss girls. You’re quietly waiting for the right girl, the one who cares enough about you to make it worth it. But that’s just a sad dream that will never be fulfilled. Because no one will ever meet the standards of King Kyan with his hollow heart. You may think you’re worthless, but you still hold onto the hope that someone could maybe want you as you are. A monster with a black soul who takes bites out of people and expects them to love him in return.” I inched closer so my breath danced against his cheeks and I was all he could see. “That hope is as foolish as you look right now.”
His throat bobbed and hurt twisted his features just long enough for me to know my work was done. I’d driven pins into his flesh with my words and finally hit a nerve.
I continued to pack the sickly smelling mixture against his body, running my hand down his stomach before rubbing it over his hands which were holding his dick. He grunted as I continued lower, wiping it over his thighs before moving around to his back and making sure every inch of him was covered, butt crack included.
“You satisfied yet?” he gritted out and I scooped the last handful out of the bowl, trying not to heave as the smell nearly overwhelmed me.
I fisted his sticky hair in my free hand, yanking his head back to look up at me as I grinned down at him. Then I clapped the final handful to his mouth, rubbing it all over his face as he winced against the powerful odour.
My heart was singing, my veins buzzing. Deep down, I knew I didn’t mean the words I’d spoken. But Kyan never felt bad for what he did to me, so why should I feel
