I grabbed a bag of maltesers from the cupboard and pack of twizzlers and moved to sit beside her with them.
She looked up from her diary, setting it aside as I tossed the snacks down beside her and her eyes lit up as I opened them.
“No fucking way,” she groaned.
“I’ve got access to the school stores. Plus I sign off on the food orders before they get placed now. You can eat as much junk food as you like whenever you come here, princess.” I grinned at her as she practically drooled.
“Fuck, you just made my goddamn life,” she announced, reaching out to open the twizzlers and wrapping one around her finger as she started eating it.
“So, do you wanna tell me exactly what Kyan did to earn himself a fish face pack earlier?” I asked as I opened the maltesers and scooped a handful out. “Saint just said he’d broken some of your rules. But I didn’t get a chance to ask which one before he was herding us all down to the lake.”
“Oh. Well, yeah, he crossed a line. So...” Her cheeks heated and her jaw ticked as she looked into the fire which really just made me want to know more.
“Come on, princess, don’t hold me in suspense,” I pushed.
“Well…” Her blue eyes flicked up to meet mine and she bit down on her bottom lip guiltily. “We just fooled around a bit. And the rules say no foreplay, so…”
My heart lurched and my fist curled tightly around the maltesers I hadn’t managed to eat yet and I crushed them without meaning to.
“I thought you hated them?” I growled, wondering why the fuck this bothered me so much. I certainly wasn’t allowed to be bothered by it. And I’d been the one encouraging her to make Kyan fall for her, but I hadn’t really expected her to do anything physical with him. Or maybe I had but I hadn’t wanted to think about it. But that shouldn’t have mattered. I shouldn’t have cared.
“I do,” she snarled, her eyes flaring. “I hate all of them. But…sometimes they make me feel things that I can’t just explain away…” She looked into the fire for a long moment then shrugged in a nonchalant way. “Besides, why isn’t it okay for me to fool around with them if I want to? If I was a guy and they were girls, people would slap me on the back and high five me for making all of them want me or getting in their pants. But just because I’m a girl I’m supposed to dampen my sexuality? I can’t take satisfaction from a guy for no other reason than they’re hot and I like the way their body feels against mine? I don’t see why I should have to justify-”
“Alright, alright, get off your soapbox. I’m worried about you getting hurt, not trying to stand in the way of your feminine right to fuck as many guys as you like. I was just taken off guard is all. First Blake, now Kyan, what are they going to say when they realise you’ve played them both?”
I forced myself to smirk at her like I was impressed and in a way, I was. She was doing what we’d said, weaving a web around them, drawing them in and making them ache for her so bad that they wouldn’t even see it coming when she ripped the rug right out from under them and made them bleed. But on the other hand, I now had a fistful of crushed maltesers which were melting into a blob as liquid hot as my rage over the thought of them putting their hands on her after what they’d done.
“You don’t need to protect me,” she said slowly, like she was trying to figure out what I was thinking and if she did then I wouldn’t mind a pointer too. There was only one real reason for me to feel this way and I didn’t want to admit it. Because I couldn’t be jealous. I had no right to be. And I certainly couldn’t hold her accountable for any stupid fucking feelings like that which I might have. She didn’t owe me anything when I couldn’t offer her anything.
“We’re in this together,” I reminded her. “And I will protect you whether you want me to or not. In whatever ways I can.”
“Okay,” she said, giving me a real smile which took my breath away.
“So, what’s the next part of your plan?” I asked.
“So far, they’re playing right into my hands, giving me the excuse to strike at them with punishments which they can’t even fight back against. The rules I set mean they can’t touch me, but they keep doing it anyway – well, Blake and Kyan do, I haven’t had an excuse to punish Saint yet.”
I tried not to sag in relief as she admitted she hadn’t done anything with Saint. The other two I could cope with. She’d chosen to be with Blake before all of this had started and I knew Kyan well enough to understand where a lot of his pain came from. In fact, it made me feel kinda shitty to stand back while she worked her way beneath his skin, knowing that he was in such need of something real while she was only playing him. But I understood why she had to do it. I knew what he’d done to her. And I could also allow the sacrifice in the name of bringing me closer to Saint Memphis. I’d just feel like an asshole about
