Squits started to say something then stopped himself as he seemed to realise what answer I was looking for. “That I…I did it again. I shit my pants…”
Kyan roared with laughter along with the footballers and I smirked for effect too.
“Run along then,” I encouraged and Kyan shoved himself to his feet as well.
“I’m gonna get a video of this shit for Saint,” he announced.
Deepthroat moved to Squits’ side as he shuffled from the room with his pants around his ankles and a look on his face that said he might cry. It should have made my fucking day but I just kinda felt…nothing. Even when he stumbled and fell to the floor with his ass in the air and Danny Harper made a perfectly timed farting noise which was all caught on camera.
Yeah, that shit was funny, but it didn’t touch me. I huffed irritably as Deepthroat helped Squits up, shooting a doe eyed look at Kyan which said she still had the hots for him even after all the shit he’d put her through. That girl was fucking twisted. And though I knew Kyan wanted her dealt with his way, sometimes I wished he’d just reported the bitch to the police and had her carted off to juvie.
“Don’t fucking look at me, you herpes riddled gash,” Kyan snarled at her and she quickly looked away again.
I followed the others out as Squits made his walk of shame across campus, the laughter of all the students who caught sight of him bringing a smile to my face even if it wasn’t enough to banish my grief today.
Kyan took off back to The Temple when he’d had enough of the show, but I lingered, wanting some other kind of escape while not knowing what.
“Hey, man,” Danny said, moving to stand before me and casting a look at the three other members of the football team who were standing with him. I noticed Punch - Toby – lingering at the back of the group as he worked to fit back in too.
“Hey,” I replied, wondering what he wanted and whether or not I gave a shit.
“So, err, toilet paper supplies are still pretty low in the dorms and I was wondering if there was anything we could trade or maybe do to earn a roll or two…”
The world really has gone to shit, millionaire kids with trust funds big enough to keep them in luxury for life are begging for scraps of fucking toilet paper. Who ever could have predicted this was the way the world would end? Not with a bang but with a hoard of dirty asses…
“Maybe,” I said thoughtfully. Technically Saint was in charge of TP distribution, but if I could make them jump through enough hoops I was sure he’d agree to paying them with a square or two.
“Awesome,” Danny said, way too enthusiastically for some fucking toilet paper but that was okay. “What do we need to do?”
I glanced between him and the others, wondering how far I could push them for this. “Something…dangerous,” I said slowly, the idea appealing to the reckless side of me as I wondered if there might be something in this offer that could help banish my grief for a while too.
The four of them looked between each other as they tried to come up with something that would fit the bill.
“We could go on a run down to Murkwell and fuck with the people living there?” Chad McCormack suggested and I huffed irritably.
“I said dangerous not fucking stupid. I don’t want to put everyone here at risk from the Hades Virus for some stupid prank,” I snapped and he quickly dropped his head as he apologised.
“We could steal some of the school golf carts and race them?” Punch suggested tentatively. Not Punch, dammit, Toby now. That was going to take some adjusting to.
“Maybe…”
“Or we could go cliff diving?” Danny said, pointing out towards the lake, though from here the trees hid it from view.
“We have a winner,” I declared as my heart beat faster at that suggestion.
Cliff diving over on the east side of the lake was banned because it was dumb as fuck. There were as many rocks as deep pockets of water beneath them and within the shadow of the cliff, it was pretty much impossible to figure out where they were. Rumour was that a kid had died jumping there once. But I liked my chances well enough to give it a shot. I’d always been a winner.
I turned towards the path and set a fast pace as the sheep fell in behind me, flocking after the wolf they feared rather than risk invoking my wrath.
The guys following me were excitable, joking around and making bets on who would pussy out once we got up there. I didn’t really care either way. I just wanted something to drag me away from this pit of emptiness and longing which I could feel closing in on me. Days like this were the worst. When it was hard to even get out of bed and face the world. When the smile on my face felt like a mask that I was desperately fighting to keep pinned in place. And I didn’t even know why. Why did I give a shit if everyone saw how deeply this wound had cut me? The answer was, I didn’t. I didn’t give a single shit if all of these fuckers saw me curled up in a ball sobbing. I’d still be their king when I pulled myself together again.
No, it wasn’t about that. It was about me. About the way I didn’t want to give in to that despair. I didn’t want
